Regardless of whether it is fair or nice or not, that is how it feels. Mental illness is a no-win; everyone suffers. And I refuse to hide how I feel because someone might be offended. I’m sure my father is frustrated constantly because I can’t understand him. I’m sure that feels equally or more punishing, and it wouldn’t offend me in the least to hear him express it. And yes, were one of my parents suffering from cancer, and the burden of their care fell to me, I would probably feel punished. No matter that no one is at fault, feelings are what they are.

I will not be more careful with my words. Those were chosen quite precisely because that is how I feel. And I highly doubt that expressing it adds to the stigma. Because if the comments are any indication, all it does is open people up to conversation and understanding.

First let me say that a year ago I made the choice to disengage from my own father’s self destructive behavior. It was a choice that took years in the making but in doing so I am much better off. I still love my dad and maintain some contact with him but I don’t allow that contact to hurt me anymore. However, as a person who suffers from a “mental illness” (the same one I believe genetically bestowed upon me by my father) I felt slighted by this comment: “Loving someone with a mental illness sometimes feels like a punishment. For a sin I don’t remember committing.” Yet I don’t remember committing any sin either and I’ll have to live with my illness everyday for the rest of my life. I doubt you would say the same thing about a cancer patient or even that you meant to offend me (or other people suffering from mental illness) so please be careful with your words next time. There is enough stigma attached to my real, chemical, illness already.