My mother has always been this highly sensitive, obsessive, raging nut. When I was little, it seemed her moods, while either the violent anger that lead to beatings, or the intense tears that kept her in bed most of the day, seemed to be totally random. Her own mother was this cold, work-a-holic, German bitch, who you wouldn’t want touching your dog.

My father was on heavy drugs/alcohol through most of my childhood, so it wasn’t an even partnership in any case. He was from the school of ‘Beat The Problems Out of Your Children.’

Over the years, we’ve all changed.The parents have mellowed out a lot, though remain their crazy, angry cores that come out in certain moments. I don’t know. If you look back on your life, you are almost always amazed at where you end up.

I guess that best thing to do is figure out how not pass on the same hangups to our daughters.

Thanks for writing this.

I, too, was never quite good enough, and it’s made me, among other things, a very competent guy. When I was a bit younger than you, and in the Air Force, I lived alone and spent a lot of time thinking about my life. By the time I was 22 and out of the USAF, I knew I was, in fact, more than good enough. Mother, well… she may not always think so, but so be it.

An added benefit to my upcoming marriage to my high school sweetheart: Mother was instrumental in breaking us up 25 years ago. Knowing she couldn’t have that kind of influence on me, she worked instead on Sweetheart, and was temporarily (for a quarter-century!) successful. Now we’re just wondering if she’s going to attend the wedding — my father will be my best man.

And the old broad is showing signs of coming around, so maybe she will be there. Time will tell.

You’re good enough, and then some. Nah… good enough and then a lot more. You’re good enough for two people. I hope that some day while she’s still on this side of the grass, you can find a way to appreciate that your mother thinks so, too. There’s a fixed number of hours in a lifetime, and it’d be a real pity if you were stuck living out the last of yours, after hers are done, with a regret.