I caught the bouquet. I did not leave with the bouquet, but I caught it, dammit. The seven-year-old ball of fury directly in front of me was up waaaay past her bedtime and having none of this leggy stranger getting her mitts on the loot. She burned into me with a look that said, “The fit I’d throw would be epic. EPIC.” I handed it over immediately. The tiny diva was willing to part with the bouquet briefly when the bride asked if we might borrow it to take photos, but not one second after the photographer stopped snapping she planted herself in front of me and demanded I return it. I may have pushed my luck by asking her to say “Please give me back my flowers,” but hey, it takes a village, right? I’d like to think her mother would have given her the same treatment – insisting on common courtesy while being obstinate and greedy – had she been present. True, her mother probably would not have savagely plucked off several petals out of sheer spite, but the village isn’t done with me either. So there.
From what I understand, the after party also verged on epic (the Dork Lord poured himself into our hotel room sometime after 4AM, having suckled at the JÃ_germeister teat), but that is second hand information only. After tottering back to the hotel in borrowed socks (they came with the Boy’s tux and therefore fair game for city sidewalk grates) at half past twelve, I decided to crawl into bed with some outrageously priced Peanut M&Ms from the minibar and watch American Idol. That I woke up with vicious heartburn should not be surprising.
Now that the week from hell is over and the Boy and I will be spending much more time in front of our computers (he, programming; me, catching up on people.com), blogging is back to its regularly scheduled programming. Some nutty shit went down last week, and if I can somewhow work out how to protect the privacy of those I love while still spilling my guts, I may just include it. If not, just know this: if I ever have to audition for Cops, I’m ready.
Wow! Sounds like you had an amazing time!
Good for you! Looking forward to hearing all about it!
As for the 7 year old…she’d had gotta an earful from me! (Please do not get me started on this “topic”….rude, inconsiderate and disrespectful kids makes my blood boil! Ugh! No excuses for such behavior…. cause ya know when I was a kid, not one adult would hesitate to put me in my place and make sure I understood what was proper and what wasn’t…. [ok, ok…gotta get off this subject!)
Anyway….Glad you had fun! Happy your home and looking forward to hear what you’ve got to share next.
As always… Many thanks!
Glad you are back! I feared that you were having more trouble posting, which I know can be beyond frustrating.
I heard a new word and I thought it would be perfect for your leading man. “Adorkable”. How great is that!?
I have to admit, I caught bouquets at three consecutive weddings when I was about nine or 10. I definitely caught them with my own two hands though, there was no stealing involved!
My Dad could not figure out, for the life of him, how I could manage to grab hold of flowers while wearing a dress, and not learn how to rebound when I played basketball. One of life’s greater mysteries, I suppose.
Glad you made it through the wedding-date with the Dork Lord. (It STILL cracks me up that you call him that!)
Good job on exercising your parenting skills, too. I may be a total Curmudgeon (with a capital “C”), but I think that kids do NOT belong at wedding receptions for reasons exactly like that. (I’d love to ban them from weddings, too, but I understand that it might not work out well in practice). I don’t care that it’s a party and that they get to dress up in cute stuff. Grown-ups get way fewer opportunities to do the same things, and those few opportunities we DO get should not be shared with ankle-biters below the age of 13.
Looking forward to your “heavily edited” versions of whatever is to come.
Welcome back!
Good witty writing. You brightened my afternoon.
That little chick sounds like a handful!
I love the word EPIC. And I must ask, are you a secret JonGirl? If you haven’t a clue what I mean, that’s fine. But I had to ask
~Elizabeth (aka wizbiff)
That little chick sounds like a handful!
I love the word EPIC. And I must ask, are you a secret JonGirl? If you haven’t a clue what I mean, that’s fine. But I had to ask
~Elizabeth (aka wizbiff)
god, i never catch anything at weddings! i mean, anything besides herpes.
and no one really asks to have that back.
/the more you know
Fish, this is completely unrelated to the current post, but I had to tell you: I bought the 30-Day Shred this weekend based upon your recommendation, and I tried it out last night. You were spot-on – it kicked my butt! I am so sore today! But in a good way. Are you still doing it?
I hate hate HATE when they let little brats participate in the bouquet toss – especially when they catch it [fairly]. There won’t be anyone under 18 allowed at my wedding anyway. Yuck.
Glad to see you’re back! Miss your posts when you’re not around.
Welcome back. I was starting to wonder where you had gotten off to. Sounds like a grand time was had by all except for the little brat incident. I would have kept the bouquet. You’re too nice.
Wow! Sounds like quite the week!
AT my SIL’s wedding in July, our friend’s 6 year-old caught the bouquet, then promptly started to cry, saying “I don’t wanna get married!” over and over again.
‘Cause, y’know, she’s SIX, and all the boys she knows have cooties.
First of all, as the mother of a small (well, now 10) girl, shame on her mother for not watching the bouquet toss and making certain that she behaved properly. I don’t really think that kids should be at wedding receptions unless they are pretty casual affairs–they typically hate the food and just get underfoot on the dance floor. All that said, some couples want to have kids at their weddings and it IS their choice…but one thing I have seen that I thought was a nice touch is a separate bouquet toss/garter toss for the little ones…nothing creepier than seeing a grown man putting a garter on a six year old. Ick.
Eff that kid anyway. There’s no way I would have handed over the bouquet under those circumstances. She thinks she can throw a bigger fit than me? She has so much to learn.