Irony or really, fiercely ugly coincidence? I suppose it’s not unthinkable to be the victim of a crap economy three times in 18 months, so it’s only coincidence that mere days after I post about employment woes, I’m in the middle of ‘em. Again. Details later, but for the moment, I have a job. And for that I am grateful.
But with money being tighter (one hefty freelance gig has already dried up due to budget cuts), and with the fear that it will only become more constricted in the coming weeks, the Dork Lord and I put our moving-in plans into, how do they say, hyper drive. God, I’m so tempted right here to make some sort of nerdy Battlestar Galactica reference, but I’m not sure I have the frackin’ lingo down quite yet. Anyway, on Monday, I closed up shop at my apartment – canceled what was left of the amenities (um, that would be Internet. Cable went away a month before), unplugged the appliances, scooped Hal up into his portable torture chamber (honestly, you’d think so by the way he hollers in that thing) and relocated to the Boy’s apartment. Two months ahead of schedule.
It’s a lot, really. True, we haven’t spent a night apart since the second week we were dating. But for a girl who’s been used to residential autonomy for the last five years, just getting over feeling like a visitor in his our apartment is going to take some work. I worry about stressing him out, moving into too much of the closet all at once. Watching him box up nerd books to make room for my shoes. Saying silent prayers to feline deities that Hal doesn’t turn his black leather sofa into a high end scratching post. It’s like I’m on constantly.
Obviously, it’s not all stress. One of the nicest things about us is how easy we are. Even playing the Yours or Mine game, which I think he’s been letting me win, just to keep me from reaching stress levels ordinarily reserved stockbrokers, air traffic controllers and the cast of Grey’s Anatomy. Your vacuum or mine? Your dishes or mine? Your rules about gigantic dogs on the bed or mine? We’re like The Brady Bunch over here, only instead of little girls in curls we’re melding things like salad spinners and living room sets. And as for stepchildren, mine’s a 75 pound German Shepherd/Lab who doesn’t listen to a word I say except when I’m holding meat. Yeah, I’m the Bacon Lady.
I’m also one lucky lady. The worry over losing my job in the near future is real. Very real. But being part of a “we” makes it somehow less scary. And adjustment periods or no, I know when he says that whatever happens, we’ll be okay, it’s true. We will.
Sure, it’d be even better if he were like, 87 years old, a millionaire, and wheezing his last breaths from an oxygen tank. But I’ll take what I can get.
Well, congrats are in order = ) Yay for you two. (Not the job issues front, the moving in…) Things have a way of working out. And the sun always comes up tomorrow too- in my experience anyways.
Wow – congrats to you, that’s a big step! And good luck with the job thing, I know how stressful it can be. I worry about it often as do a lot of other people so it’s not an easy time.
Here’s hoping that the move and adjustment period continues to go well!
Congrats on the move, Bacon lady
I’m sure things are going to be great for you and The Boy (as for Hal and The Dog, well…) 
best of luck to all of you, and we’re all crossing our fingers for the job thing.
Funny – I just watched the episode of “Sex and the City” where Carrie and Aidan move in together and have closet issues and space issues. Ah, memories.
Best of luck to you both, both personally and professionally.
That’s fantastic news!! Congrats on the move
It could be worse. I have an acquaintance who recently got MARRIED for health insurance. It sounds like you and the Dork Lord are moving along and moving in nicely. Pleasant cohabitions!
Yep – the same thing happened to me last Thursday. 3 times in 18 months. It’s pretty crazy! But I’ve decided enough is enough and am branching out on my own. No more working to fatten someone ELSE’s bank account because THAT is just a bunch of crap!!! Anyway – I’ve been reading your blog for a while and I just wanted to say GOOD LUCK!!!
And I can’t wait to see what happens with you and the Dork Lord.
Hmmmm, while happy for you to be sure, I wonder if it’s time ivillage passes the torch to someone else to blog about matters of the heart and life as a singleton…I really enjoyed your stories while living in NY about dating and relationship woes, but now it’s about exercise, babies and a “dorky” boyfriend — not really the same or “as advertised.” Not that you’re not entertaining or offering a worthwhile read, it just no longer meets the need or impetus behind why I first became a fan.
I’m officially turning my nose up at those friends who said it was too soon, when my gf of 4 months moved in…Simply put…we hadn’t spent nights apart and keeping up with 2 places was no longer logical nor affordable in the current economic situation…Kudos to you, I’m sure you are hearing what I heard…LOL
Well, sorry about the (pending?) job loss/layoff. Congratulations on sharing a bathroom! The Bacon Lady/Fish is apparently finally riding a bike!
Re Hal & the sofa, try a length of looped duct tape — meaning make a large circle of it by taping the strip end to end — and then attach it that loop lengthwise to all the most appealing angles of the couch. I find the corner where the back meets the sides to be my boy cat’s favorite. After Hal has to yank his paw pads off duct tape a couple of times, he may be trained to leave it alone. And it doesn’t hurt their itty bitty kitty toes. It just annoys the crap out of them.
I’m sorry to hear about the possible layoff. My boyfriend, who worked at Merrill Lynch, met the same fate last month. I can say from experience, though, that being a part of a “we” certainly does make hard times more bearable. It sounds like you’ve got a good one.
My guy just moved in last week. Well, finished moving in last week – it’s sort of been an ongoing process for the last two months. But it’s nice. The most challenging thing has been the shift between me taking care of my place – laundry, cleaning the bathroom, vacuuming, etc while he takes care of his to figuring out how to collectively do it… I’m a little tidier, so I end up cleaning. A lot. He’s good if I ask him, but I’m not as good about asking as I should. How do guys just not NOTICE clutter? *sigh*
Congrats on the habitation situation. Despite the job worries, you’ve seemed very happy over the last couple of months. And anyone who watches BSG is a good catch
I have known the dork lord for the better part of 26 years, since we were in the fourth grade. I can say without any doubt that this is the happiest I have ever seen him. And he will get over the cat scratching the couch… besides, I am sure your couch looks much nicer.
Dont be fooled…. Miss Fish has a shaman….
“Sure, it’d be even better if he were like, 87 years old, a millionaire, and wheezing his last breaths from an oxygen tank. But I’ll take what I can get.”
But then he probably wouldn’t be good in bed
.
Congrats on the move! It’s always scary to start living with someone, but it makes the job situation a bit less scary. Good luck to everyone with the economy. I took a job for less pay that starts next week…. and then I found out the health insurance is about 3 times as expensive. A big shock! But I’m happy to have a job.
OMG, I love this posting – so timely. I too am making the decision to cohabitate with my boyfriend ahead of schedule, except he is the one who has lost his job and is moving in with me. It’s only 30% about the finances because we truly love each other but I am the quintessential planner and this was not on my schedule for our first year of dating by a long shot. Full disclosure: I’ve never lived with anyone minus the one semester in college when I lived with the campus slut. Every male on campus had seen and commented on my choice in posters and wall art.
I’m so nervous about this but like you, my gentleman and I spend every night together unless I’m out of town for work. And in those moments we can’t wait to get back to one another. My mother tells me, she’s never seen me so happy. This coming in reference to a person often called Suzy Sunshine.
The good thing is, it doesn’t matter who’s waffle iron stays and who’s dishes go. His are better but he doesn’t have matching mugs. It’ll all work out because we’re going to work at it. Yes there will be fights and disagreements especially when he squeezes the tube from the middle or leaves his whiskers in the sink. But having him there every day will be worth it.
I’ve read your blog for years and understand that what goes in the text is only one facet of you, but what I’ve read about you and the Dork Lord, I believe all will be well and right in your world. Just trust and believe!
That’s sweet and funny about merging two households and all too true for anyone who has taken the time to set up their own homes instead of merging lives straight out of college, which, I like to think is most of us. But I am sorry to hear about your potential employment woes. I hope it doesn’t come to that. Good luck!! I wish I had more words of encouragement to offer other than good luck.
http://venusreinvented.blogspot.com
There are tears in my eyes — I’m so happy for you, a stranger I’ve never met. You know how I know you’ll be okay? “One of the nicest things about us is how easy we are.” YES! That’s how you know it’s right — it’s just EASY. I took the plunge and moved in with my easy guy 4 1/2 months after we started dating (due to extenuating circumstances, as well), and here we are, 13 years, two kids, four cats, and five homes later. You’re going to be more than alright. I’m sorry to hear about your employment situation, but how nice will it be to have a partner to support you through it?
Congrats on moving in?? Good luck with the work situation!
FYI Frak is spelled without the “c” in the modern series of Battlestar Galactica…
Just passing along the dorkiness. 
Congrats on the co-habitating!
It really does sound very cozy and blissful and everything positive. I’m pretty used to living alone right now, too, but it’s not hard to picture it being really fun to share space with a, er, special someone.
Congrats on the moving in part. The key with kitties not scratching leather couches is get some flat square cardboat scratchers and sprinkle lots of dried catnip on them – it makes the leather couches MUCH less appealing. If that fails, you can you always do Soft Claws as a last resort, I think declawing is absolutely cruel and inhumane. I too have had some financial bumps the last few years. It really helped to stick to a budget and just stop buying ALL non-essential things. I buy food and toiletries with coupons that are on sale. I drive an older Civic that is paid off. I sold things that I don’t use on craiglist and donated/freecycled everything else. Cleared out the basement and closet. It felt great and I made a bit of extra cash in the process. Best of luck to you – I KNOW things are going to be okay for you Fish.
wow, fast! i’m sure you’ve been dating longer than you’ve been blogging about it (oct/nov you were having blind dates – so it’s been what, 2-3 months? dec you said you’re “seeing” someone) – but wow! good luck! when my guy and i first moved in together, we bickered a lot (we had been “practically” living together for a while so didn’t realize what a big adjustment it would be for the first month or two) – if that happens, it’s normal! 5 years later, we’re still going strong! good luck!
My guy and I moved in together almost immediately after we started dating because we just knew that we were supposed to be together. Other people thought we were crazy for “rushing into things”. We’ve been together for almost four years now. I’m happy for you! Congrats!
I am so unbelievably happy for you and so is my sister who has been reading your blog ever since I recommended it. We have been crossing our fingers for you!
To Emily: I also became a fan of this blog because of the “celebrating single life” aspect. But as someone who has been single for A VERY LONG TIME, I have been waiting for the day when Heather found her bicycle. Blogs evolve, along with life. To expect her to remain single for the simple sake of this blog is naive and um, selfish? I’m sticking around.
Fish – I am so happy for you! I can give you another example of the moving in early can be a good thing — when I started dating my bf, he basically stated sleeping over every night within a week. I gave him a house key on our 1 month anniversary and he let his apartment lease go when we were together 3 months. We got married last fall and have been together three years now. When it’s easy, why fight it?
P.S. I love your blog whether you’re single, dating or married with kids.
congrats on the move in!!!
i wonder how many of these stories are going to be showing up due to the economy – like you and other posters above, i’m also having this conversation earlier than expected partially due to the economy
and yes, like others, the “logic” side of my brain is all ‘slow down! its only been 4 months! too fast!’ but the fact is you can do everything by the book and things can still fall apart… therefore, who cares about logic? if it feels like the right thing – especially if it also seems like the easy thing – go for it! and ignore anyone who says otherwise!
and to the person complaining about the change in recent content – jealous much?
I wish you well with your cohabitation and impending job situation. You’ve been a trooper through all these unemployment woes and should feel proud of yourself for persevering.
As someone who has been reading your blog since before you even moved to NYC… the trials with J, BW, Magnum PI…. I am so happy to see you taking this step with the Dork Lord. It’s like a really important turning point in this long, sweet book I’ve been reading for 6 years. (Except it’s your LIFE, of course!) Anyway, what I’m trying to say is – I’ve enjoyed watching it evolve. And I’ll be sticking around to see what happens next – even if it IS exercising and babies and dorky boyfriends and salad spinners.
Good luck!
Hi Heather,
Just wanted to share a little something: I’ve been doing the single/not single (repeat) thing in NYC for a little over 2 years now and met a wonderful guy from Dallas back in November. It seems that all guys from Dallas (well, yours and mine) are wonderful, caring, amazing guys. Why didn’t we figure this out a LONG time ago?
Anyway- From one independent (but secretely always wanted a big strong man to call us on our crap) NYC girl to another- congrats and I hope you appreciate how lucky you are to have your guy so close!
He was just here last weekend for the first time ever! (yay tourists!) He-like many of you, was laid off a few weeks ago, but just got a new job and has some time in between, so we’re trying to get him back with out draining both of our banks- Does anyone have any secrets/connections/extra $400 lying around that would help him get here??!
I’ll totally make it up to you with homemade sweets, tickets to SNL and well…we can talk!
Thank God for Texas =)
Well, I have to say I have been reading your blog for well over a year now, and I have read just about every post, and this one, this one has moved me to actually leave a comment for the first time. I am genuinely happy for you. Being a part of a “we” as you so poignently described, can make things easier, and the Dork Lord sounds like an amazing part of your “we”. Hold on tight to that, because as how extremely important it is to be independent and free, as you did quite successfully I might add, it’s nice to see that you seem like an extremely happy person when you are with someone you love. Good luck with your new apartment, and new life really! Keep posting, I’ll be following!
Congratulations!! Lovely!
I’ll admit I envy your “ease” of commitment to each other. I wish you the very best… as always.
Just another comment regarding the other Emily’s comment regarding the false advertising of this site since you fell in love with the Dork Lord. I’ve been reading your blog for years as well, and was initially drawn in by the dating stories and single life bent. Through this time I’ve never stopped reading, whether I was in a relationship or not. Your writing is real, regardless of your relationship status- which is what makes you so readable to me and all of your other fans. I’m currently in an ok relationship, although not the right one. Reading you these past few months, and today especially, has left me with a feeling of hope that I will eventually meet someone that it can be easy (and wonderful) with. Even though I don’t know you personally, it makes me super happy when I read about you and your boyfriend. Good luck with the job situation!
I really hope that you find security in many aspects of your life. Have fun fighting over TiVo!
My boyfriend (who is now my husband of almost 14 years) and I ended up moving in together after only 4 months of dating as well. My two roommates were moving out for different reasons and it seemed silly and wasteful to rent a new apartment I knew I’d never spend any time in. Even though we’d pretty much spent every night together since the first time I stayed over, it was scary to make it official. But we did, my roommates moved their stuff out, he moved his stuff in and… it worked. There was about a month of us both kind of holding our breath worried that all of the sudden it would stop working, but it never did. And we happily relaxed into it. Eight months after that, he proposed. And it is still working fabulously all these years later. When it is right, really RIGHT, you know. Congrats.
oh yes – soft claws! i wish i had discovered them years ago (they feel a little weird when the cat puts his paws on your skin, but they’re great!)
Hi,
I wonder if Emily is gunning for your job? fish, you are a great read because you are an amazing writer. i tune in when i do not just to hear about your adventures, but about the disarmingly fetching way you put them into prose. and, yes, your dork lord story gives me hope. so don’t stop blogging, whatever the emilys say.
I wish someday I can be part of a “we”. You can’ t put a price on that!
Fish,
I’ve never left a comment before, but reading your post made me so happy for you, that I just had to say, “Yay!!!”
As a woman who has also had her share of romantic misses, it is so wonderful to read that you and the Dork Lord are getting along famously!
I am getting married to my geek this August!
Congratulations – you deserve it!
S
I’m so excited for you, Fish! I’m keeping my fingers (and as many of my toes as I can) crossed for you both. You certainly deserve this kind of happiness. The nerdy ones always seem to be the best ones.
And as yet another comment to the Emily, don’t stop writing. You’ve become a part of my daily “procrastinate until I actually have to work” routine, and I would be very sad if that went away. I, for one, have enjoyed reading you for a while now, and can’t wait to hear more, even if it is about what flavor ice cream struck your fancy on particular day (today, I think I’d enjoy chocolate chip cookie dough…at 8 in the morning…don’t judge me
).
Speaking of air traffic controllers: although stressful, that might be a guaranteed job in this economy. They definitely don’t have enough. Maybe one could do it for two or three years to stave off unemployment (and then get out before it killed them).
I’ll have to admit, I came to you blog today hoping you and the Boy had split. Not because I enjoy the suffering of others (ok well maybe sometimes), but because I found some comfort in knowing there was someone else out there with the same relationship struggles. I’ll agree to pop the pity party balloons for now, but only because I’m holding out hope that with cohabitation comes more life complications (and no the pillow incident really doesn’t count). I suppose given your recent bout of bad luck on the work front you’re entitled to some happiness. I just don’t have to be happy about it.
After reading your blog,..over and over,..I can not help but marvel at the similarities of our lives! I love that you’re so candid and I actually cracked a laugh–a literal LOL.