pestilence and disease

When I walked into work on Thursday morning, Liesl sat back at her desk.

“I can see the GLANDS in your neck from HERE.”

She glands as though it were goiter or pulsating alien egg sac. I put a hand to my neck and grimaced.

“I know. I woke up this way. Last night, I couldn’t get off the couch.”

By mid-morning I went to see my BFFs at PrimaCare where the silver-haired doctor with the claymation face told me I had strep. And the flu. I wondered if there was going to be a bonus round. Scarlet Fever? When I told him my throat didn’t actually hurt, that I simply appeared to be farming extraterrestrial life forms, he smiled one of those smiles that said, oh, you poor silly thing.

“It will.” And then he wrote me a mouthful of prescriptions.

And boy howdy, he was right about the hurting. By evening I was a big dopey vicodin mess on the couch (I’d been a big dopey vicodin mess on the floor a few hours earlier in The Great Faint of Oh Nine, an important lesson about painkillers and stairs), while the Boy fetched popsicles and generally looked very sympathetic.

Pestilence and disease sorta killed my weekend – which was meant to be taken up by packing and cleaning my apartment. And instead, even after the throaty business had subsided I was still effing exhausted. I spent most of the last few days either lying down or leaning – on counters, walls, big dogs… really anything that would be still. Pathetic. And moreover, I did not get to go see The Fast and The Furious: The Sexy Reunion like I had intended. Which is the biggest tragedy of all.

There’s no pill for that kind of bitter disappointment.

20 comments to pestilence and disease

  • CaliGal

    Ouch!

    You poor thing. :(

    Hoping you’re feeling better very soon.

  • Jessica

    I don’t know how you do it – but you make an illness so damn entertaining to read about =)

    I am very sorry to hear that you are sick. Feel better fast! Mmm popsicles!

  • Meg

    Get well soon!! It sucks to be sick as the weather is supposed to be getting warmer.

  • Asia Thompson

    I’m happy you’re doing better now. I hope you’re 100 percent soon! Look on the bright side, you have a lovely man to take care of you! AND you can see the movie next weekend :)

    Take care!

  • Asia Thompson

    I’m happy you’re doing better now. I hope you’re 100 percent soon! Look on the bright side, you have a lovely man to take care of you! AND you can see the movie next weekend :)

    Take care!

  • Krystal

    Don’t worry fish, you didn’t miss much…Paul Walker and Vin did NOT take their shirts off..therefore it does not deserve to be nominated for ANY awards…I would wait and rent it…

  • Jessica

    Ouch! I was there in January and just recently got my full energy level back! They threatened to take my tonsils though! Best wishes!! Get to feeling better!

  • I like how comforting the good doctor is with the “It will.”

    Glad you are over the worst of it by the sounds of it.

  • Ooh mee too. Last August I had an alien incubating in my right tonsil and it only just hatched and beamed itself away.

  • Louise

    Was diagnosed with tonsillitis myself today – I have exactly 60 hours before I arrive in New York for my Easter vacation – go penicillin go !!

  • Anonymous

    Is it me, or do you whine relatively frequently about being sick? Suck it up; it hits us all, at one time or another. As an MD, I’m exposed to my fair share of shit.

    It’s like when people write about their dreams– nobody really cares.

  • Emily

    Fish, really, write a book already!

  • Anonymous

    Looks like you cared enough to comment, Doc.

  • Mary

    Feel better! My throat hurts too, I’m scared..

  • Jamie

    As a doctor (and I am not being mean like the previous poster cause I love your blog), you do seem to be sick alot. You need some immune system boosting – good sleep, less stress, good diet, daily vitamins (C!). I know you are pretty fit and healthy, but something seems to be running you down.

    PS- Hey MD: you are a doctor, you are supposed to be exposed to people being sick! Seriously, I feel sorry for your patients with your lack of compassion.

  • Sylvia

    Seriously MD, some bedside manner you have, glad i’m not one of your patients!

    Fish how is it that you get all the good meds, vicodin? I’m lucky to get a shot in the hip and samples at my docs office, so jealous.

    Paul & Vin may not have exposed the great bodies, but i thought they were still worth watching! Two thumbs up!

    Hope you get to feeling better soon.

  • poor thing! I hope you continue feeling better…

  • Aryn

    After reading this, I thought “poor fish!” and then the next day I came down with the EXACT same thing! weird coincidence! Anyway, I feel for you! Let’s both get better soon!

  • nh

    I had something lurgy like this a couple of years ago. My doctor recommended lots of rest so I spent 2 weeks lying wiped out on my sofa….with no visitors.

    My parents were on holiday for 2 weeks, my close friends were pregnant and said didnt want to catch anything, and my brother didnt even want me to come and see my kid nephews in case I gave them something.

    Two loooong, silent, lonely weeks….. Daytime tv and internet grocery shopping were the highlights. You’re lucky you have a nice boyfriend to look after you (and he does sound lovely)! And sympathy and distraction via your blog too!

  • nh

    I had something lurgy like this a couple of years ago. My doctor recommended lots of rest so I spent 2 weeks lying wiped out on my sofa….with no visitors.

    My parents were on holiday for 2 weeks, my close friends were pregnant and said didnt want to catch anything, and my brother didnt even want me to come and see my kid nephews in case I gave them something.

    Two loooong, silent, lonely weeks….. Daytime tv and internet grocery shopping were the highlights. You’re lucky you have a nice boyfriend to look after you (and he does sound lovely)! And sympathy and distraction via your blog too!