Comments on: a mom by any other name

By: Emily

Emily — Sun, 29 Nov 2015 21:26:05 +0000

I respect that, CMB, but why does it all fall to you? If you are married, why doesn’t your husband consider staying at home? Why is this conversation always about Stay-At-Home MOMS?

IMHO, gender equality will never be real until both parents feel it is their EQUAL duty to raise the kids, however that contribution takes its form (be it working inside our outside the home).

By: K

Fri, 27 Nov 2015 23:50:19 +0000

YES! Congratulations. I didn’t want to assvice it up when you still had not made this decision, but god it’s going to feel good. It’ll also suck in some ways, but my experience–as someone who initially wasn’t sure whether I’d want to go back to work, and found out within relatively short order that I was, without question, not cut out for SAHMing–has been that on the balance I know that working makes me a better mother than the one I’d be if I were doing this 24/7. Everyone has to find out what’s best for them, and I’m glad you’re going to be able to make some changes to bring your life more into alignment with what you’ve learned works best for you. High five from East Dallas- this isn’t always the easiest town in which to find understanding on this topic.

By: Karen

Karen — Wed, 25 Nov 2015 20:55:44 +0000

We adopted and I was instantly a first time mom to a high risk special needs child. I did NOT make it to 20 months! God bless you. I made it two months before I looked into the mirror at saggy mom jeans, frumpy baggy shirt, dishpan hair, weight loss from just not ever getting supper… and I burst into tears. You do lose yourself and you do have to fight to regain some of your own identity and find self-care that is actually attainable. And then you feel guilty Yep.

By: Dana

Dana — Tue, 17 Nov 2015 06:29:18 +0000

So much yes! All those things that made you who you were before you became a mom are still all there and vitally important. How are we supposed to show our kids how to live their best life if we don’t show them how we live ours? At the end of the day we are all individuals and what’s best for me and you might not be best for someone else, but isn’t that what we want to show our kids? To make their own road, to follow their own paths, to do what’s right for them? How are they supposed to know how to do that if we don’t show them? I don’t think I can be the best mom for my daughter unless I’m being the best me, for me.

By: Deena

Deena — Sat, 14 Nov 2015 17:34:21 +0000

I am a full-time mother who also has been looking for part-time work for the last 6-8 months (no real success) and plan on going back to work more full time when my 6 year old is older. I am happy with full time motherhood (I rarely stay in one place and we are so often not at home that “stay at home” doesn’t fit what I do). I think it’s entirely individual in part because of the individuality of each child – some children need more time from a parent for various reasons including developmental delays, etc. And of course who the parents are. I was not blessed with a child till my early 40s after 2 careers, one of which I worked at for 15 years. That informed and affected my decision -emotionally, practically and financially. So in all the important ways I think it’s so apples and oranges that while support for whatever choice is a wonderful thing, judgment and comparisons are not (especially the former!). Good luck Heather!