tempting fate perhaps?!

still, i’ve been through worse.

It’s sooo at the beginning which in a way is good because in theory it should hurt less.

But I don’t think it will hurt less at all.

I too thought that, at one point in my life, I had been oh so happy with my ex, the love of my life ….

8 years ago, I had been in the same situation as you, but reversed. The man who I adored and had lived with for 5 years all of a sudden had a change of heart. He wanted children, and I didn’t. Throughout his dating ‘career’, he had been persistently chased by women who wanted his babies. And each relationship ended with him not wanting that ‘burden’ of a child, as he told me. And at the beginning of our life together, he vowed to never want kids. And with that, I breathed a sigh of relief — I had never wanted children (a complicated story that to this day remains true). But something switched in him. All of a sudden, with the room to breath and think and decide for himself whether children were right for him, he resoundingly exclaimed that was what he wanted most in life. A child. And my heart bled for months, realizing that I had a tough choice to make. Bearing our fruit and raising a child that I didn’t necessarily want at that time, or leave the love of my life so that he could find what his heart desired most. I chose the latter, and it was the hardest, most difficult decision that I ever had to make.

The tragic story continues ….. he was married and a Father 10 months after we unravelled; a year later he was divorced. A year after that, he committed suicide, and my heart and my breath still aches at the most terrible loss of this brilliant, caring, loved and respected man. I feel for you. And I cry. At how happy we used to be with the men that we loved, and the decisions we made for the sake of a child.

8 years, and apparently worlds, apart- and he told me Friday that he wants me to experience ‘all the world has to offer me’.

But what if he is what I want to experience?

I’m so afraid he was the one. And now I’ll never know.

He must have known from the beginning

that it would end like this… really

its quite selfish of him to attach to

you and then break it off that way.