Comments on: if i wasn’t careful https://thisfish.com/if-i-wasnt-careful/ Found the bike. Not changing the title. Mon, 06 Apr 2026 05:54:12 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.4 By: Arashi https://thisfish.com/if-i-wasnt-careful/#comment-30587 Arashi Wed, 09 Jul 2008 10:52:08 +0000 http://thisfish.com/?p=1540#comment-30587 <p>I can remember few good moments with my father in the 18 years we spoke to each other. Actually, I think I don't even need my ten fingers to count them. That's the kind of person he is, and that's how willing to be a father he was.</p><br /><br /><p>The bad moments, those I remember pretty well. All of them. The day I told him I wanted to participate in my first gymnastics competition, and he refused to pay for it, because I wasn't going to win anyway... why should he waste his money? The slap on my face when I was 13, because I didn't want to stay beside him when he was drunk and having fun threatening to burn my face with his cigarette; the day I asked him five bucks because I needed material for a college exam, and he told me that flunking a class for once wouldn't hurt me (that's what I get for getting into a good university when he was never smart enough for that); the day he zigzagged on the most dangerous road in the city at 120 kilometres an hour just to scare me... oh I remember them all. Every single detail.</p><br /><br /><p>You know what the problem is, Heather? You're always the only one that remembers the hurt. And when you talk to people about things like these, they have two reactions: either they look at you funny and roll their eyes, as if saying that you are overreacting, or they pat your head as if saying 'poor kid'. But in the end, all of them say you need to love your parents just because they share your blood and last name.</p><br /><br /><p>I have always been a very logical person, and that makes no sense to me.</p><br /><br /><p>Some parents won't love you. Some will, occasionally, but most of the time they'll be so wrapped up in their own lives that they will treat you like you're just another piece of furniture and won't even notice the damage they're causing. If you're lucky, you get a parent that will remember that children are human beings too, and no, they don't bounce back from everything.</p> I can remember few good moments with my father in the 18 years we spoke to each other. Actually, I think I don’t even need my ten fingers to count them. That’s the kind of person he is, and that’s how willing to be a father he was.

The bad moments, those I remember pretty well. All of them. The day I told him I wanted to participate in my first gymnastics competition, and he refused to pay for it, because I wasn’t going to win anyway… why should he waste his money? The slap on my face when I was 13, because I didn’t want to stay beside him when he was drunk and having fun threatening to burn my face with his cigarette; the day I asked him five bucks because I needed material for a college exam, and he told me that flunking a class for once wouldn’t hurt me (that’s what I get for getting into a good university when he was never smart enough for that); the day he zigzagged on the most dangerous road in the city at 120 kilometres an hour just to scare me… oh I remember them all. Every single detail.

You know what the problem is, Heather? You’re always the only one that remembers the hurt. And when you talk to people about things like these, they have two reactions: either they look at you funny and roll their eyes, as if saying that you are overreacting, or they pat your head as if saying ‘poor kid’. But in the end, all of them say you need to love your parents just because they share your blood and last name.

I have always been a very logical person, and that makes no sense to me.

Some parents won’t love you. Some will, occasionally, but most of the time they’ll be so wrapped up in their own lives that they will treat you like you’re just another piece of furniture and won’t even notice the damage they’re causing. If you’re lucky, you get a parent that will remember that children are human beings too, and no, they don’t bounce back from everything.

]]> By: Melanie https://thisfish.com/if-i-wasnt-careful/#comment-30586 Melanie Tue, 08 Jul 2008 22:06:11 +0000 http://thisfish.com/?p=1540#comment-30586 <p>Wow. Like Alec Baldwin abusing his daughter. You do realize now that this was all about your woman hating dad, right?</p> Wow. Like Alec Baldwin abusing his daughter. You do realize now that this was all about your woman hating dad, right?

]]> By: Sarah https://thisfish.com/if-i-wasnt-careful/#comment-30585 Sarah Tue, 08 Jul 2008 01:01:30 +0000 http://thisfish.com/?p=1540#comment-30585 <p>I had something very similar happen to me. Even though they had already divorced, I didn't tell my mother because I was afraid she would agree with him.</p> I had something very similar happen to me. Even though they had already divorced, I didn’t tell my mother because I was afraid she would agree with him.

]]> By: lawyerchik https://thisfish.com/if-i-wasnt-careful/#comment-30584 lawyerchik Fri, 04 Jul 2008 03:14:24 +0000 http://thisfish.com/?p=1540#comment-30584 <p>Forgot to tell you: one time (in the not-too-distant past), my dad was in a pissy mood and called me a "B"(rhymes with witch). I retaliated by telling him that if I was a "b****," then he was a son-of-a-b****. He took extreme offense at that, asking, "Are you calling my mother a b****?" I said, "You called me one - what's the big deal?!?" He hasn't called me a b**** since. </p> Forgot to tell you: one time (in the not-too-distant past), my dad was in a pissy mood and called me a “B”(rhymes with witch). I retaliated by telling him that if I was a “b****,” then he was a son-of-a-b****. He took extreme offense at that, asking, “Are you calling my mother a b****?” I said, “You called me one – what’s the big deal?!?” He hasn’t called me a b**** since.

]]> By: Katie https://thisfish.com/if-i-wasnt-careful/#comment-30583 Katie Thu, 03 Jul 2008 03:40:19 +0000 http://thisfish.com/?p=1540#comment-30583 <p>Thank you for this story. Sometimes I feel as if I'm the only one who went through "stuff" as a kid - even though, now as an adult, I know I'm not the only one - it's cathartic to hear from someone else.</p><br /><br /><p>It's so confusing when you're a kid to have to go through this and not know what to make of it. Some kids have a handle on it, some do not until much later in life.</p> Thank you for this story. Sometimes I feel as if I’m the only one who went through “stuff” as a kid – even though, now as an adult, I know I’m not the only one – it’s cathartic to hear from someone else.

It’s so confusing when you’re a kid to have to go through this and not know what to make of it. Some kids have a handle on it, some do not until much later in life.

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