Am v. mixed-up. Not in pleasant, blended, frozen margarita way, though. Am beginning to think am suffering from contagious J-Skitzophrenia. Was guest at practice of Finally-Complete Band practice last night and met much heard-about band members. Was immediately made one of Finally-Complete-Band family.
GuitarPlayerA: J, she's hot.
J: Yeah, H is my best-good-friend.
GuitarPlayerB: With bennies?
J: (looking at me) No... no benefits. That's wrong.
H: Hello? Yeah, hi guys... I'm sitting right here.
GuitarPlayerA: So, if she's your best-good-friend, she knows about the girl from work and Friday night?
Felt strange, warm fuzzy feeling of Forest-Gump-Pride at being called best-good friend. Then had skitzophrenic moment of heart stopping terror when A. mentioned Mystery Hook-up Girl from Friday night. Do not care, told self. Do not care. But felt Julia-Roberts-Driving-Bread-Truck type panic, all the same. Is v. good thing music was v. v. loud and not v. condusive to moment of despair. Sat with J in car for half hour talking after practice, feeling good Peas & Carrots feeling.
J: Sorry I didn't tell you about MHG. I didn't sleep with her or anything...it's just, she has a boyfriend so...
H: So, you're the other man? Don't be the other man, J. It's tacky.
J: I know. It was a mistake. I just don't want you to think I'm an asshole.
H: Oh jeez, J. I don't think you're an asshole... just makes me feel like a bad friend if you leave things out. Like you can't talk to me.
J: I'm sorry. But you know, everything I do, I think: "Will H be pissed at me for doing this?" Your opinion matters a lot and I don't want you to think badly of me.
H: I don't. I wish I could, but ... I don't, J. Honest.
Went in house, put on warm socks and went to bed. Was happy to note that first thought on waking was not of J. Indeed. First thought was of Reluctant Kitten clawing at new, gauze curtains.
Sigh.
Need breakfast.