J: I still want to talk to you about this. I hate email tiffs and I think this is important enough that we need to talk about it.
Spent evening at home, watching v. burly-construction-worker-pretending-to-have-millions and digging peanut butter cups out of Ben and Jerry's carton. Phone never rang. Assumed band practice ran late and would have v. important talk another day.
B: Did you talk to J last night?
H: No, I didn't.
B: Boys are stupid.
H: This is why I can't sleep with you, B. You'll turn stupid. (opening email from J) Ugh! So, instead of calling me so we could work this out, J went to play cards and watch at movie with LeadSinger and his girlfriend. Good. Very good. Judo CHOP!
B: No, no. Go with the Vulcan neck pinch. Much more suitable for this situation.
H: But, wouldn't karate chopping him in the throat be pretty cool? Did he mention our argument to you at all?
B: I saw him for about 4 minutes, long enough to say hi and that was about all.
H: Right. He was very busy playing cards.
Head is swimming in visions of Miss Piggy-like hiiiiiyah, delivered with painful accuracy. J would double over (a la Kermit, Gonzo or other Piggy victim), yours truly would straighten designer dress, smooth hair, and saunter off in pair of fabulous shoes.
Feather boa optional.