November 19, 2002

in celebration

In celebration of another blogging milestone which yours truly almost let go by unmentioned... (Fish Blog has turned a whopping TEN thousand over the weekend) have compiled another list.

Things Have Learned from UMF:

1. Do not leave the house on cold winter mornings without warm substance in your tummy. Be it tea, oatmeal, or the less-than-preferred option of reheated pizza, warm tummy-fillers are a must.
2. Do not fight openly. Always use passive-aggressive techniques more suited to true dysfunctional family life.
3. Always wear two pair of socks when hiking. Don't ask, just do. You'll be glad you did.
4. Being smart is better than being pretty. Thus, do not tell your children they are attractive. Will only encourage vanity and un-smartness.
5. Right over left. Left over right. The correct way to tie an even bow on your church dress.
6. Ice-cold water is key to flaky pie crust.
7. If you want it, earn it.
8. Make a budget.
9. Being overweight makes you harder to love. But as is v. wrong to say, do not verbalize it. Simply apply steady stream of hints that family members must diet in order to be worthy of affection.
10. No matter how crazy she is, you will always love your mother and wish she were there when you are sick.

Posted by This Fish at November 19, 2002 04:14 PM
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