UMF: I just wanted to talk to you about the family brouhaha.
H: (Am not a therapist. Am NOT a therapist) Oh, good lord.
UMF: Yes, well, I don't think there's anyone that can say that they haven't in any way contributed to problems in the family, so I think we just all have to be committed to working together to solve them.
H: (You are certifiably crazy, do you know that?) We? I haven't even lived there in years.
UMF: I just want to get everyone in a problem-solving mode rather than a finger-pointing mode.
H: (Finger painting? Yes, that sounds much nicer than having this conversation. Oh? What's that? You said finger POINTING?) Hmmm... well, I have to go now.
UMF: Love you.
H: Mmmhhhhmmm. Bye.
We? Am outraged at sudden inclusion of bitterly unhappy children in sordid, ridiculous mess parents are making of selves. We have problems to work on? WE?? Personally, did not marry man whom I do not love, do not have failing marriage and children who resent me. Am NOT therapist and already ran away from home. Which means, am quite certain, that this family brouhaha has nothing, or less than nothing to do with yours truly. Am selfish, yes. But perhaps is character trait and if so, is not one I intend to mess with.
Not now. Good God, not now.