Have been fielding calls from the UMF for two days. Am in love with Caller ID. Thought was safe picking up phone at work, but was wrong. Must remember to get Spy Gear for work phone.
H: Marketing, this is H.
UMF: Hi, dear.
H: Uh, hi mom. I'm kinda... (busy? completely strung out? avoiding you?)
UMF: I know you're busy; I just wanted to say hi. This thing with your father...
H: Um, well, I can't really talk about that here.
Is from other planet, that woman. Finally, wrote horribly scathing post to public blog, but thought better of said attempt at tearing family to shreds, and sent family-wide email instead. Will not be part of solution, told them, as do not feel part of problem. Will also not be home for holidays as desperately need break from all of this. The end.
Perhaps will spend Christmas in sunny, tropical climate. Or in apartment with Not-as-Reluctant Kitten. Suppose it doesn't matter.
Had most amusing e-conversation with J this afternoon. Was really v. big mistake to become best friends with bicycle that fell in love with... as cannot seem to part with him, even if only for these delightful, and wonderfully passive-aggressive displays of emotional fuckwitism.
(New word. Will make part of vocabulary. Fuck-wit-ism.)
H: My sister thinks I'm an alcoholic junkie.
J: I hope you just laughed that off...
H: I did, but I'm an alcoholic and probably in denial.
J: Yeah, you really have a problem. Here, call this number. It's a teen drug/alcohol/suicide hot line. Call quick, I'm worried!
H: They told me to go get knocked-up and then call back. I wasn't qualified.
J: Need help?
H: Sure! Got any hot friends?
J: I don't know... Do I?
BAM! And suddenly are back to Saturday night's Flirtatious Fish incident. Am v. well aware that J wants to hear that yes, do indeed think A is adorable and there were indeed miniature spark-type emissions on night in question. But will not do it. Am smarter fish than that. Will wait for A to say it first.