H: How's the burn victim today?
IRB: It's the Itchy and Scratchy Show. No peeling yet though...
H: You didn't moisturize!!
IRB: I'm a boy. I can't.
H: That's horseshit! I remember a certain boy coming to my desk for Lubriderm for his sunburned nose.
IRB: I did yesterday, but I'm out of lube now. I only had a hotel trial size bottle.
H: Go to CVS, young man. All this itching is so avoidable.
IRB: Maybe I'll go to CVS, buy lube, rubbers, and a teen beat magazine. Would that make you happy?
H: *gasp!* That's not what I meant and you know it!
IRB: I thought it was funny.
H: It was very funny. I laughed out loud. But for the sake of propriety I had to pretend to be shocked.
IRB: Soooo, would you recommend an oil or water based lubricant?
H: Water based is always better. More natural. Oil is only good if it's flavored.
IRB: Flavored. Right. You just single-handedly destroyed my attention span for the afternoon. Kudos.
H: Who, me?? ha ha ha. I'm sorry. But technically, it's not my fault; you asked. Oh, and citrus flavors are best. In case you wondered.
IRB: And you get your vitamin C too. Still. Can't. Concentrate.
Fishy you naughty girl to play with a man's concentration like that. Hee! How's he s'posed to get any work done now? If he gets fired for daydreaming, I wonder if he'll blame you for life?
Posted by: michybrit at June 13, 2003 10:30 AMHold the phone,
While all the sex stuff is fine and good, there's a part of me (let's call it the indie rock boy in me) that's wondering what in the hell an indie rock boy was doing getting a tan. Not that there's anything wrong with it, and I don't mean to judge, it just seems like its coming way out of left field.
is he getting ready for a vacation or something?
Posted by: mark at June 13, 2003 10:41 AMno berry or cinnmon flavors?
Posted by: vg at June 13, 2003 11:27 AMmmmm, cinnamon. Spicy!
Posted by: Lisa at June 13, 2003 01:32 PMI'm sure if a guy can go tanning that he can safely use moisturizer without affecting his manhood.
Definitely, don't toast the manhood 'cause that dog would HURT!
Posted by: Texas T-bone at June 13, 2003 03:39 PMi'm with mark here. a tanned IRB quickly loses street cred. he needs to hurry up and start an argument about the demise of emo or something soon to redeem himself.
and i loved the transcript. very amusing. and telling. :-)
Posted by: julia at June 13, 2003 05:44 PM(sigh)Oh to have a flirt like the fish.
Posted by: Michael at June 13, 2003 06:01 PMthese silly, perhaps jealous of IRB comment posters (male) need to read the transcript. IRB got burned. Burned can mean he was out and about without his shirt on, and not necessarily deliberately "sun tanning." Lots of honest to goodness males get burned. Construction workers, for example. They get burned because they are too manly to put on 30 sun block before they start working. And they itch afterward because they are too manly to use body lotion. Note: Not that I give a hoot one way or the other, but just thought I'd point it out :)
Posted by: Katherine at June 13, 2003 11:21 PMtrue, true. the fact that he burned means that he most likely would be somewhat pasty white the rest of the time. which somewhat raises indie legit-ness levels.
but the subject of the post was"irb goes tanning"...
either way, i'd take an IRB tan or pasty white. or burned. mine comes in all three flavors depending on the time of year, so i'm happy.
Posted by: julia at June 14, 2003 01:38 AMJealous? Ha!
Any good IRB knows to wear lots of sunscreen.
Posted by: Texas T-bone at June 16, 2003 10:09 AM