July 08, 2003

stop me

H: You there?
Inner Goddess: Of course. I'm always here.
H: You've been awfully quiet. No nagging, no comments about my weight, no snide comments about men... I was beginning to worry.
IG: And so you should.
H: What do you mean?
IG: You know exactly what I mean. How's the deep end, sister? Cause that's exactly where you've landed yourself.
H: I... uh... What?! But I did exactly what you wanted me to -- I got rid of J! I stopped pining! I got on with my life.
IG: If by getting on with your life you mean making a total lush of yourself and acting like an ass in public then yes, honey, you have. Congratulations. Instead of being one man's fool, you're the world's fool. That's quite an accomplishment.
H: You're so wrong.
IG: Just like C was so wrong when he called you on your tarty behavior on Saturday night?
H: Exactly.
IG: Right then. If he was so wrong, why'd you get so upset? You hardly recognize yourself these days. Admit it.
H: Well, sure, I've put on some weight. I have been a bit careless about things, but...
IG: I'm not talking about the extra 15 lbs. Let's get metaphorical here, shall we?
H: Actually, no, let's not. I don't think I want to have this conversation right now.
IG: You don't want my help then? You see, this is why I haven't spoken up sooner. You seem hell-bent on making some sort of statement with your Post-J Bimbo Routine. Why should I stop you?
H: I, uh...
IG: You know where to find me when you decide to be realistic about this. Okay? So, talk to you later. Oh, and really, please clean your room.

Posted by This Fish at July 8, 2003 11:51 AM
Comments

Damn, that inner goddess is such an uppity cow. Why don't you tell her where to get off, ditch the bitch and hang out with your real friends?!

Or you could put a hit on her. More expensive, but you avoid the likelihood of a public slagging match.

Posted by: Ben at July 8, 2003 03:39 PM

The revenge of the Inner Goddess, huh? Inner bitches can be such hell - good luck with dealing with yours.

Posted by: Kristín at July 8, 2003 06:13 PM

Wow... everyone should have an inner goddess who tells it to us straight. It's the ones with a pushover inner goddess that lose it.

Posted by: michybrit at July 8, 2003 06:55 PM

bollocks! your inner goddess is just being a bitch - you're doing great!

Posted by: alt31 at July 8, 2003 07:15 PM

Great post. Introspection is so important. Either IG is right or she isn't, but the main thing is that you're asking the questions. Nicely done.

Posted by: Jason at July 9, 2003 12:00 AM

Playing 'knock-knock who's there' is a dangerous game with everywoman's Inner Goddess. Let's just call her PANDORA. You're a smart and clever cookie, Fish. You could write forever and long long columns and I'd be even happier! hint hint hint.

Posted by: Katherine at July 9, 2003 12:18 AM

you and your inner goddess should go on double dates.

Posted by: Dang Olden at July 9, 2003 12:19 AM

Clean your room, indeed! I think most of us could use a good house-cleaning now and then.

Posted by: Texas T-bone at July 9, 2003 09:24 AM

I like the Inner Goddess. She doing anything Thursday? My inner Yeti wouldn't mind taking her out and of course you could use a night off from her.

Posted by: TheYeti at July 9, 2003 10:46 AM