Am a blogging has-been.
No, really. It's true.
Ever since severing ties with J several months ago, have been losing public appeal (not unlike Bugle Boy when they started selling their wares at JC Penney. But, I digress.) No longer have to/get to write about weepy breakdowns where am certain am going to stop breathing simply from overwhelming misery. Do not threaten folks with bodily harm in violent Miss Piggy-esque temper tantrums (hiiii-yah!). Do not go days without eating (in fact, find that do not go several fifteen minute periods without eating, but again, not the point). And no longer have brutal internal arguments with the Inner Goddess, because, I fear, even she has lost interest in yours truly.
Have become quite dull. Even Passionless, perhaps.
No, really. It's true.
And that's just fine.
Am feeling sane and well-adjusted and busy. Most story lines are like that, though, right? It's that part of the book where Jane is living with her cousin clergyman and those descriptions of the countryside take pages and pages and you think, My GOD, Bronte, get ON with it. It's that part in the movie where you can get up, get that free popcorn refill AND go to the bathroom and not miss much. Seven Years in Tibet? Is this in real time? You could get up and leave now, if you like, and will send the usher for you when the good stuff starts up again. But then, you’re apt to might miss minor adventures (white water rafting accidents) and steamy, sweaty summer affairs (Though, have left that out as it involves nothing more than sex and makes yours truly look cheap and tawdry. Besides, have been informed that going on and on about a five-minute orgasm is in poor taste). Your choice.
At any rate, do apologize for not keeping your attention. Am not too worried, though, as all plots seem to follow the same pattern -- rising action, falling action, resolution, climax. And denouement is in there somewhere, right? Yes, indeed, right after the climax, am fairly sure. Am simply going to have to sit here and wait for that. Denouement. It’s French. Even just saying it is slightly amusing. De-noue-ment. Thrilling. Though, it’s nothing like a good climax, is it?
But then again, what is?
So say that sneezing is the closest simulated thing to an orgasm, although I quite agree with you. I'm still interested in the regular day stuff, it keeps one grounded :)
Posted by: Jenn at July 30, 2003 05:10 PMI meant to say "Some say..."
Posted by: Jenn at July 30, 2003 05:11 PMWill not go on and on about 5 minute orgasm, but will conspicuously mention it. It's called Praeteritio, and it's latin for "I will pass over..."
Posted by: Paul Gutman at July 30, 2003 06:19 PMyou're not bowing out gracefully, are you?
Posted by: michelle at July 30, 2003 06:47 PMDon't know about anyone else, but I'm happy with cheap and tawdry... :)
Posted by: Ben at July 30, 2003 06:54 PMdearest fish... scandal and intrigue and hearbreak are all lovely and engrossing, but so is real, sincere life. the tide goes in and the tide goes out, and that's part of the natural course of things. i feel that pressure to write something pithy and profound each time i post, and sometimes i can just summon up one line. all i can be is me, so all you can be is you! and we adore you, kit kats or makeout sessions!
Posted by: sassylittlepunkin at July 30, 2003 06:59 PMI'm sure none of us would have you go through that ansty J-period again for all the readership. Besides, you are such a lovely writer even your daily musings are fun to read!
(And who says a KitKat craving isn't a climactic plot line all in itself?)
Posted by: Amy at July 30, 2003 09:11 PMFish, I think things are just as good if not better! Keep going....No "has been" :)
Posted by: michael at July 31, 2003 01:46 AMCheap, tawdry KitKats .... mmm mmm good ...
Okay you lost some hits along with the drama, but we're all still here, hon, and still enjoying what you tell us.
Posted by: Erin at July 31, 2003 02:19 AMI love your site, find it inspiring, and get excited with each new post. Heartbreak sells,as do cab capades and moving and M&Ms. Don't feel discouraged.
Posted by: Erin at July 31, 2003 08:58 AMFive minutes? Sorry, was reading along entertained when got to the five minutes part. Me and "The Lurkers" are impressed.
Very.
Moire and Office of Lurkers
Posted by: Moire Ryan at July 31, 2003 09:40 AMheh - I liked the Kit Kat stuff - but five minute orgasm?
You should try having an orgasm with me. it may only last a few seconds - but as any who has spent time with me knows - even a few seconds feels like an eternity.
Posted by: TheYeti at July 31, 2003 11:23 AMSee, that's an advantage to being a woman -- the 5-minute orgasm. See, if us guys could have five-minute orgasms, we'd have to buy flood insurance.
Posted by: Frankenstein at July 31, 2003 11:35 AMMy blog is written for me, the catharsis of words. If other people like it, yahoo! If people hate it, google! If I have nothing to write about, I stop writing. No big whup.
Keep being you and the world still turns.
Posted by: Texas T-bone at July 31, 2003 01:03 PMThe only cure is updating two, three, maybe four times a day.
Posted by: TheYeti at July 31, 2003 05:37 PMHrumph, this blasted comment box failed. Here we go again. Your writings are a treat (much like kitkats, but of the superior grade variety of chocolate). So you've lost a few shallow readers, perhaps? Who're only interested in worry and furrowed brows and lost nights sleeps? Pfffff. Whether you're writing about that has-been, not-good-enough-for-you, J, Kitkats, near-death experiences, or meals out with the gals, it's all good. Keep at it. And am glad you're content and enjoying life.
Posted by: Katherine at August 1, 2003 01:19 PMwhen you're down, stare at a clown.
Posted by: Dang Olden at August 1, 2003 03:13 PMoh fishie...
keep on keepin on!
am certain you do not define your self-worth(or blog-worth as it were) by something as meaningless as a hit counter.
and i've just been busy at work lately so i can't stalk your page 300 x a day like usual. so sorry. it's all my fault really.
bygones.
;-)
heh.
Denouement. Great word. Now you don't get *that* on every website... ;-)
Posted by: Lisa at August 1, 2003 06:04 PMMr. Frankenstein, THAT was hilarious...
Posted by: Amy at August 1, 2003 08:29 PMI'll have you know that "denouement" was the movie preview term of the day when I last saw a movie. You're so ahead of the curve, fish, not a has-been.
Posted by: Anne at August 4, 2003 07:22 PMit's been over a year and i'm still here. that proabably isn't saying much though.
Posted by: hubs at August 7, 2003 02:31 PM