This Fish Needs A Bicycle

in camelot

Tonight my dinner was gin and half a dozen cigarettes. And I don't smoke.

I have learned that you should never say to anyone, "In the worst case scenario..." followed by, "Second worse would be.." Because, invariably, you will soon be living Worst Case Scenario, with Second Worse filling in from time to time as the relief pitcher.

I walked home just now, the river fog pulling at my mascara, my mouth tasting of cigarettes -- like a smoker's kiss -- and I thought of my fortune this evening, of haphazzardly finding kismet in a bottle of Sapphire gin and in the kindness of new friendship.

The leaves were glowing gold in the lamps on the footbridge, and I found myself thinking of the movie, Camelot. And of the song. Do you remember it?

In short, there's simply not
a more congenial spot
for happily-ever-aftering
than here in Camelot

I sang it for an audition once. I may have it wrong now; but that's okay. I am drunk. How topsy-turvy that perfectly-arranged kingdom became!

At any rate, the leaves were beautiful and the night was so still that all of the day's great impossibilities seemed... a bit more possible (that being what imaginations are for). And right there, the abuse of the work day slipped off into the river to go with the current or be churned under by tomorrow morning's crew teams.

Of course, I'll still feel really shitty that hard-earned recognition went ungranted. And that I've never really learned to say the right thing when it counted. But what I realized while crossing over the river, and what I'd learned tonight over a bottle of gin, was that it's not always predictable. Plan, prepare, decree, and your world will still go all topsy-turvy on you.

My fingers smell of tobacco and I'm tired but happy satisfied. If I fall asleep now, I'm pretty much assured pleasant dreams.

Posted by This Fish at November 12, 2003 11:11 PM