This Fish Needs A Bicycle

take it easy, miss cleo

Work has been so busy lately that my lunch hour, and hours after work, are spent on the phone and attached to the computer planning, of all things, a retirement party for one of the Higher Ups. Is this my job? Am I a party coordinator? Apparently I threw such a stellar Halloween party that the Powers that Be decided I must WANT to do this sort of thing. Um, yeah.

And thus, I am not out dancing. I’m tired. I stayed out for a bit with my Work Boyfriends (they hold my purse while I shop, escort me around, walk me to my trains, and bicker with me when I'm being a pain) and was even asked by one of them to be his date to the Holiday party. Which is really great and a huge relief. Great in that he and I have lots in common: We both love boys. And a relief in that, well, after two years with J there, I was planning on going solo. And not thrilled about it.

Speaking of J… We had a very strange conversation today. Over the last few months, he and I have fallen into this civil, “If I hear from you, cool, if I don’t, probably better” correspondence pattern. So, today, after a week or so of silence, I get:

J: Wanna hear something silly?
H: Yes, tell me something silly.
J: Well, you know of that girl, Kathryn in London, right? Well she sent me an email on Wednesday saying that she has a boyfriend and it has gotten serious, and she felt I should know. To be honest, I was a bit hurt. Silly, huh?
H: No, it's not silly. Not silly at all. Miles -- even a big stupid ocean -- really mean nothing when it comes to that sort of thing. I’m sorry.
J: I need a cookie and a hug.

---- An hour or so later, J makes a very stupid joke ---

H: Oh jeez. You’re too much.
J: Yeah, I need a brain scan...
H: At the very least! This Kathryn thing really has you bugged, huh?
J: Holy shit, how could you tell????
H: Gee, I wonder.
J: No, honestly. Am I acting weird or something?
H: No. Probably not to other people. I just know you way better than you think. Remember when we first went down the crapper? I emailed B that morning and said, "J is seeing the blonde from the hot tub, isn't he?" I just know things.
J: I am as clueless as they come, and here you are reading my mind... I really do love you!!!!!

And here, let me check my watch. Yes, that’s what I thought. About nine months too late for that to mean a god damned thing. Funny how I love you rolls off so easily now that it carries about as much weight as Callista Fucking Flockhart.

I almost feel sorry for the guy. Oh, alright, no almost. I do feel sorry. But I just don’t know what he thinks I can do for him, besides buy him a pint of Ben and Jerry’s, pat him on the back and say,

There, there. You totally had this coming. Karma, baby. She’s a bitch, ain’t she?

Posted by This Fish at November 14, 2003 11:15 PM