December 01, 2003

there oughta be a law

Someone has a Tickle Me Elmo doll here in the office. I can't see them. But oh, can I hear them.

Here I am, this close to taking a trip to Crazy City and someone starts in with that giggling freak of a toy.

H: If we can get a fixed rate instead of breaking down the billable...
Elmo: hee hee hee... heee heeeeee....heee!!
H: (jumps off balcony)

Whatever happened to nice, quiet toys like the Rubix Cube or yo-yos?

H: If we can get a fixed rate instead of breaking down the billable...
Yo-yo: .....

See? See how nice that is?

Posted by This Fish at December 1, 2003 12:45 PM
Comments

The kind of people that bring those stupid things in the OFFICE are usually the kind of people who also have on their wall one of those stupid big mouth bass on a fake plaque that sings "Take Me to the River." I fucking hate that bass.

Posted by: Jenny at December 1, 2003 12:58 PM

I would perhaps suggest that you take your favorite toy into the office tomorrow.

And by favorite toy, I really mean a baseball bat to smash the tickle-me-elmo.

Posted by: Frankenstein at December 1, 2003 01:48 PM

Fish's favorite toy makes more of a vibrating sound :P

Posted by: me at December 1, 2003 02:31 PM

Act interested ask for your turn to tickle Elmo, flip him over take his batteries out and toss THEM over the balcony.

Posted by: browniethoughts at December 1, 2003 02:32 PM

I like the baseball-bat idea. You could (note the conditional; this is not advice, just an observation) do it like John Belushi did Stephen Bishop's guitar in "Animal House": just smash the damn thing to pieces, hand the pieces back to the owner, shrug, say, "Sorry," and move on.

And my bro-in-law actually did give Big Mouth Billy Bass to my son. I hid it, then later destroyed it.

::Enters Bad Parent Hall of Fame::

Posted by: Lex at December 1, 2003 04:56 PM

Lately, the most annoying "toy" to my ears is the cellular phone. Particularly while on transit, the riders who insist on blabbing at 90 decibels their Christmas shopping lists and other inane crap. Yesterday this one woman annoyed the entire freaking bus by yelling into her cell phone. Someone started yelling at her and then the whole bus chimed in with shut-the-f-up-cell-phone-f-wad. It was music to my ears.
P.S. A couple of years ago at our tacky gift exchange, someone gave someone a laughing fish wall plaque. It was cute.

Posted by: Katherine at December 1, 2003 05:15 PM