December 09, 2003

emily

I've been at the office since well before 7AM straightening out details for the Retirement Party from Hell.

I think the caterer is a little bit (read: a whole lot) frustrated with me. I suppose I can't really blame her. I mean, I will admit that I don't know what the hell I'm doing in regards to flower arrangements, wine, etc. I did authorize an open bar though, since the latest request is that I actually be in attendance at this thing. Which means partying on a work night with 50 people over the age of 50, in a dress and heels. An open bar was the only consolation. Wait til they get the bill!

As snarky as I've been about this party, I'm actually very nervous about messing it up. You know, the kind of nervous that has your stomach all twisted up because you know how much it means to someone that it goes well? My own parties are a breeze compared to this. All I have to do is keep glasses filled and Rocco from leaving dirty toothpaste messages on my bathroom mirror. And when party-goers drag their tired asses home after daybreak (and chocolate chip waffles), I know I've done a bang-up job.

But this?

Have I chosen the right wine? Are the invitations printed on sustainable, acid-free paper? Did the courtesy invites arrive in the appropriate window of time? Has parking been arranged for all the guests? Do the guests with hearing problems have a seat at the head table? {insert exploding head here} I think I have personally exceeded the bandwidth for Emily Post Online daily for the last month.

That's what the Chairman calls me now, by the way. Emily Post. Good to know I've made a name for myself in this industry. Emily Frickin' Post.

Better than Leona Helmsley, though, right?

Posted by This Fish at December 9, 2003 09:40 AM
Comments

Right kind? It all comes from the same horse.

My roommate used to take the easy way out. Any party he threw, he would be the first to start drinking, and the first to pass out. No more worrying; no more tension; just blissful, dreamless sleep. And if you do it early enough, you'll be refreshed by morning, all ready for work.

Posted by: Gopi at December 9, 2003 04:34 PM

best of luck with everything. party planning is quite satisfying - especially with the open bar. hell yes!

Posted by: julia at December 9, 2003 07:57 PM

Martha Stewart would be a little more modern. I'm surprised a guy even knows about emily post.

Posted by: Katherine at December 10, 2003 10:52 AM

If you totally wig-out from all the madness maybe they will change your name to Emily Postal.

Posted by: Jon at December 10, 2003 11:37 AM

He's pushing retirement age... he definitely knows who Emily Post is.

Posted by: Fish at December 11, 2003 09:51 AM