I've worked enough rooms at enough parties to be able to tell you who will end up talking to whom.
And so I was not surprised when after the acceptable amount of time, we ended up elbow to elbow, him talking just loudly enough so I'd hear his conversation. Did I want to join in? He was unquestionably one of the better looking men at the party. I could venture to guess he's probably one of the better looking men at most parties.
I'd seen him come in. You don't miss entrances like his. Mmmm. Italian, I thought.
From that point, our crowd maneuvering became as strategic as his two-day stubble (oh-so-very sexy) and Kenneth Coles or my little black dress and toussled hair. So, maneuvering done, there we were, elbow to elbow and I felt his attention shift. He asked if he could refill my wine, and I looked at him thinking, Our children would have the finest heads of hair ever. EVER. when it suddenly occurred to me that
this is the way I always work a room. And this is the way I always ended up with the most vain, selfish, ridiculously self absorbed man breaking my heart. And I am surprised every single time!
So I thanked, but no-thanked him, and made my way across the room to chat with a very nice Pakistani who introduced me to his fiancee. And then his brother. With whom I'm having lunch on Tuesday.
We're going out for Italian.
No, just kidding. About the Italian food bit. But I do have to ask:
Is it fair to accept a date with someone when you know very well that you are in perhaps the most unglued state you have ever been? Poor unsuspecting victim. I mean, I could spontaneously burst into tears at any moment. It really doesn't take much. Pass the water? Oh, I'm sorry, I don't know if I can do this...
Welcome to the breakdown lane.
Posted by This Fish at December 21, 2003 02:33 AMWell, if the breakdown happens on the first date, then it's not so bad. At least you'll be letting them know up front (whether intentionally or unintentionally).
Posted by: Michael at December 21, 2003 03:16 AMA date is not a marriage proposal. Go. Just be yourself, without apology.
Posted by: Patron Saint of Drunken Fornication at December 21, 2003 04:06 AMit's always quite interesting to find out WHY a particular person comes into your life at an unexpected imperfect time.
he might be an off ramp from the breakdown lane.
or he might be a roadsign along the way.
Bikefox is right. Accept the date if you want to. The "way out of your unglued state" will appear in the ways you interact with the world, including the people. Besides, he's an adult, not an unsuspecting victim. He either already knows how to take care of himself, or if not, then he needs to learn.
Sounds like fun. I haven't been on a date in a coupla weeks.
Posted by: Belle at December 21, 2003 12:29 PMIf his name is Viggo Mortenson and you don't accept the date I'll send the men in the white coats immediately. Of course, he'd break your heart but WHO CARES??? :)
Posted by: Katherine at December 21, 2003 03:24 PMThat is SO funny. As I was typing this post at what, 2:30 in the morning, Ari and I were chatting about Viggo.
Mmmmm.... Viggo.
Heck, go on the date, you never know he could be the one to break you out of the slump. Love finds you in the most mysterious places but then again so does a free dinner invitation, ;) Enjoy yourself and be YOU, cuz from what I can read you are fabulous!
Have a blast!
Posted by: Iferlynn at December 21, 2003 05:01 PMGO ON THE DATE! You might be pleasantly surprised. You are probably much more critical of yourself than others at this point, and while you may feel on the verge of a breakdown, carry yourself beautifully.
Posted by: Alex at December 21, 2003 06:52 PMHaving a breakdown would at least make it memorable. ;)
Of course, I've only had one first date EVER in my short life, so maybe I'm not the best one to be talking. Although I may be having my 2nd first date ever in a few days. :D
Posted by: tab at December 21, 2003 07:20 PMDude. There are lots of people in the world who would not consider having the option of turning down "one of the better-looking men at MOST parties" a trip to the breakdown lane.
I'm just sayin'.