You should have warned us it gets so cold here
And the night can freeze before you set a fire
And our flames go unnoticed, diminished
Faded just as soon as they are fired
I crawled into bed at a decent hour, determined to defeat this latest bout of brutal insomnia. In bed, tucked under two layers of down comforters, head buried in the half dozen pillows, I encountered two obstacles. Neither of which were insomnia related.
Kitten
At first, it was such a happy, cozy scene, her snuggled against my chest, occasionally leaning back to lick me on the eyebrow (I’m assuming by how often she does this that either it’s a sign of affection or that she’s not satisfied with my own eyebrow grooming efforts). And then, in her own kitten fashion, 1 AM hit and it was play time.
Pounce!
Cut it out. Must sleep.
Pounce harder!
Kitten! If you make me move from this warm spot… I swear!
Now, Kitten (isn't she damn cute?) responds to one command. One. And she does it without fail (okay, for the most part). This is how it works: I say “kiss!” and she jumps up on the bed, in instantaneous purr mode, and puts her head down. And I kiss her little forehead. Simple enough. So, between pounces, I pulled my face out from under the pillows, gave the command, a kiss and settled her back into purr and cuddle mode. Success!
Obstacle two was not met with as much success.
The cold
I could not get warm. The Kitten Furnace did its job, but come on, she’s not that big. My feet were freezing. I’m starting to believe that getting married, just to have someone to warm your cold feet against, is as good of a reason as any (better than some I’ve heard, anyway). Someone legally obligated to keep your feet warm, to make the other half of the bed and to give you a reason to stay in bed on cold mornings.
Insert seductive tiger growl here
jeff foxworthy actually had a joke once about how the temperature of a woman's feet and bum drop 30 degrees the second the get into bed.
i am definately a fine example of that.
Posted by: dahl at January 8, 2004 11:39 AMI certainly married my husband for the built in foot warmer.
Posted by: daisy at January 8, 2004 11:46 AMKitten is ADORABLE! She should meet our regal boys - they'd be smitten in seconds.
Posted by: Belle at January 8, 2004 12:37 PMMan... if I had a buck for everytime I've said that... can you say filthy stinkin' rich??
In the interim, my I suggest, flannel sheets? They are yummy, warm and emit no nocturnal farts ;)
Posted by: Ari at January 8, 2004 12:38 PMmy puppy did the play mode thing on tuesday night. AT 3:00 IN THE MORNING. so annoying. i did not have as much success as you.
if you don't want to get married just yet, go to walmart and invest in a sunbeam warming blanket. they are utterly divine.
Posted by: lizzie at January 8, 2004 12:42 PMElectric blankets are emotionally neutral. No needs beyond electricity.
Posted by: Patron Saint of Drunken Fornication at January 8, 2004 01:35 PMdid someone get a digital camera for christmas?
Posted by: hubs at January 8, 2004 01:47 PMHA! No, but it's part of the new, less anonymous Fish. We're slowly working our way out of anonymity.
Posted by: Fish at January 8, 2004 01:49 PMthat's no kitten. that's a cat, dear.
Posted by: cole at January 8, 2004 02:40 PMBut...that's her NAME. Kitten.
Posted by: Fish at January 8, 2004 02:48 PMOMG- Kitten doesn't look anything like I pictured her, lol. How often do the people we talk to online ever look like how we pictured, LOL.
As for the cold feet, try some socks sista! You can always kick them off mid-sleep if you are too hot ;).
Posted by: Iferlynn at January 8, 2004 02:55 PMthus, you will never see a picture of me posted on here! too many expectations!
Posted by: Fish at January 8, 2004 03:02 PMUGH!
I just love Kitten. But I do NOT love insomnia and have been battling a slight case of it myself. Maybe tonight I will try a Kahlua and warm milk. Doesn't that sound like a tasty treat?
Or maybe I will sit around and learn how to spell Kahlua. That could bore anyone out of their insomnia.
Here's to a beautiful night rest my love.
Posted by: Joe CuttheShit at January 8, 2004 04:26 PMTry Toe Mitten socks.
They are the most wonderful things in the whole wonderful wide world.
No, really thats how I feel about them.
Unfortunately my husband doesn't believe he has a responsibility to warm my feet. In fact, he yelps like an injured puppy whenever I try. This is a huge point of contention between us.
Posted by: lainey at January 8, 2004 04:56 PMKitten is AWESOME!!! well, not for keeping up our beloved Fish, but SO CUTE!
And yes. I can sympathize with the cold feet. Had the same problem in Colorado over break. Luckily, though, it's about 60 degrees in Tejas now :)
Posted by: tab at January 8, 2004 08:46 PMmy mom's tells me that when she gets in bed and her feet are cold she puts them on my dad and he yells "woman!" and she just laughs about it.
Posted by: jen at January 8, 2004 09:40 PMMy fiance has the nordic body temperment... he emits heat like you wouldn't believe... and he's a BIG GUY. When we lived in New Orleans, he was permanently miserable. Now that we are up North, I can calmly place my ice cold feet on his back at night and he knows that he can't say anything because he was the one that asked me move up here and he promised that if I agreed, he'd keep me warm.
Posted by: Daniella at January 8, 2004 10:48 PMKitten is very very cute!
Posted by: finelyspungirl at January 8, 2004 11:14 PMKitten is very beautiful. And inscrutable. Funny, she's an adult but she still has the kitten look about her. You know what's odd? My feet are cold too and when I start out their inside the covers. When I wake up they are always outside the covers...I think they must heat up or something.
Posted by: Katherine at January 9, 2004 12:56 AM"THEY ARE," not "THEIR." I always do that. It's embarrassing.
Posted by: K at January 9, 2004 12:57 AMKitten is such a cutie pie!!!
Alas, Fish, I'm in the same boat as you--cold feet with no one to warm it for me. However, I solved it by buying myself the thickest comforter ever and sticking a hot water bottle at my feet. Works a treat!
Posted by: glovefox at January 9, 2004 03:40 AMYou have been served by SupperBlogger for having an excellent blog. signed SupperBlogger, hungry super hero for hire.
Posted by: SupperBlogger at January 9, 2004 06:28 AMI like the way you caught Kitten with that inquisitive quirk of the head. As though she were listening to the sound of scurrying bed gophers.
I too recommend the electric blanket instead of the wrong husband... if you get the right one, sometimes they are TOO DAMN HOT and you have to wear summer PJs in the winter cause otherwise you broil under the blankets with him. So you can't really win that one. He might be right in other ways and just wrong on appliance-mode. :)
Hope it gets warmer & you get some sleep soon!
Posted by: Kim at January 9, 2004 01:25 PMi believe pictures of fish can be found at other sites if you look hard enough.
Posted by: hubs at January 9, 2004 03:08 PMhush you!!!
Posted by: Fish at January 9, 2004 03:26 PMEee! Finally, kitten pics! I'm melting.
Posted by: Cati at January 9, 2004 06:37 PMwhat a cute pose....
i'm never able to capture my cat on film in a flattering pose....
Posted by: susan at January 11, 2004 04:35 PMWhen I come home at the end of the day, I'll lean down to one of my cats. She leans up to butt heads, and I kiss her on the nose.
Posted by: LadyCrumpet at January 12, 2004 05:41 PMCool cat with a superb coat!
If you don't already know, to make Kitten stop behaving badly use a water gun/spray. Cats hate water and remember quite easily what not to do after bed time when they get sprayed with water. Worked with one of my cats out of the two.