I spent yesterday in a coma.
More accurately, I spent yesterday in a coma punctuated by fits of coughing and root beer float breaks. Starve a cold, feed a fever, right? Well, root beer float for carnival throat comes after that. It just gets left off for sake of brevity.
I will spend today back at work, wishing I were still in my coma. And wondering if, seeing as I’ve had carnival throat at least three times this winter, I shouldn’t just get my tonsils out. I didn’t need my appendix; I don’t need my tonsils. Not only could I avoid looking like Quasimodo per all the swollen glands, but there’d be at least a forty-eight hour period in which no one would expect me to eat anything but ice-cream related products. Brilliant! And let’s not forget that it would earn me a day off from the monkey firm.
As I see it, there are no drawbacks to this plan.
Then again, there is that whole dying-while-under-anesthesia thing. That concerns me a bit. But on the upside (there’s always an upside), my family might get to be on 60 Minutes or Dateline or something. And getting them all in the same room would be pretty fucking miraculous. Right?
And maybe I could get some posthumous fame out of the deal as well.
Tonsils no more, 2004.
Please not to be sick -- because today is my birthday! Hurrah!
Posted by: michybrit at January 15, 2004 10:34 AMhmmm, sounds like a plan. then again, this is coming from a girl who is actually jealous of my coworker who got picked for a three week trial for jury duty.
and the recovery time better be quick, since i'm expecting you to be in top form on saturday!
Posted by: dahl at January 15, 2004 10:36 AMDon't they use a local anasthesia nowadays? I can't remember. But I've been under general, and really, it was GREAT. Mostly cause the general came after hours of excruciating pain and I was SO HAPPY to have the little camera dilating closed sensation of going under.
Posted by: Kim at January 15, 2004 11:05 AMYeah! What she said! Today is my birthday too! {emailing michybrit to wish her a happy one as well}
Posted by: Big City Gal Pal at January 15, 2004 11:06 AMI got my tonsils out and my occurance of strep throat reduced by hrm 95%.
Best elective surgery I ever participated in.
Also, upon recovery, I discovered warm things felt better going down than cold things. Hello hot chocolate and creamy tomato soup.
Happy throating.
(O. Lord, I can interpret all of this as somewhat smutty. Throaty apologies.)
Posted by: helenjane at January 15, 2004 11:24 AMDoes anyone else have crabs?
Posted by: Rocco Yamamoto at January 15, 2004 12:43 PMI had my tonsils out when Iw as about your age, and I can tell you I felt like taking a week off work, not just one day. Of course surgical techniques have improved in the large number of years since then ;)
Posted by: John at January 15, 2004 12:53 PMI read a recent article that said they can take tonsils out with lasers now. No more under the knife.
Posted by: erika at January 15, 2004 02:14 PMFish, you should know that the chances of dying under anesthesia is v. v. slim. The industry has put a number of safety precautions in place to reduce human error.
That said, here's to quality time with Ben and Jerry!
your friendly health care advocacy lobbyist
Posted by: YankeeBelle at January 15, 2004 02:16 PMthe ice cream products thing is a myth! it takes a week of recovery, and a week and a half before anything resembling edible (including ice cream) looks appealing. remember - two gaping holes in the back of your throat! is supreme dieting tactic though, if you survive the anesthesia.
Posted by: semaphoria at January 15, 2004 07:40 PMTonsils no more, 2004.
i personally think this should be bush's campign slogan!!