This Fish Needs A Bicycle

don't let go of the blog. you're my fav. but, i understand the dilemna (sp). even though you feel so trapped and exposed, your writing is still so good. in fact, looking at your first entries, when you were anonymous, it is much better. if you really want to write, you have to be open to the vulnerability that ensues. if you ever write a novel or publish a piece in a mag., you friends and family will assume that characters are them anyway. in a way, the blog teaches you to be better at crafting your words because of the envitable eyes that will look upon it. think of it as a challenge and don't let go, please.

Fish, if you want to stop, it's OK. If you decide to keep going, that, too, is OK. You won't stop writing, no matter what you decide, and I can't imagine anyone who's read your blog ever truly criticizing your decision. Making noise about it? Of course! Crying, wailing, whatever? Absolutely! But life goes on. You do what works best for you, hon, and thank you for sharing!!

i've hung my blog up about 7 or so times over the past 3 years... and it keeps drawing me back... i say keep the blog, post as you need, and only what you're comfy with... heck i just lost my job 2 weeks ago because of my blog, so i hear ya' about "unnecessary conflict"... some days i curse the fact that i ever started it, and other days i wonder why i didn't start it before 2001

Oh dear. Please don't go. And please don't cry.

It's impossible for me to know, of course, what's going on with your real friends and your read life. But you have created your own personal medium -- one powerful enough that it allows people who don't even know you to *feel* like your friend, and therefore to hate to think about you crying alone. It seems like a shame to let that go.

What Mike said.

Don't know you at all, but I hear what you are saying. I always feel like I'm on the verge of being "found out" in my blog. In a way, it is like living on the edge: you are anonymous in a sense, but if enough people find out, you are stuck with those words being public. You don't want to censor your own diary, but you still project a certain persona or mask, even if you do feel anonymous at first.

You could just throw caution to the wind. I've not read it for very long, but I have a feeling that is what attracted people to your blog in the first place.

I understand how you're feeling all too well. I would suggest that it is not about dignity; it is about honesty. The rawness that comes with friends and acquaintances knowing you just a little too well is scary, but it can also be freeing. The more honest you are with people, the stronger your relationships can become and the more you can discern your real friends. This blog is in many ways a safe place to do that, while also entertaining and delighting the strangers who read. I truly hope you continue.

Well, I understand your delima. It is the reson I scraped my blog after only a few short weeks. If you do decide to end it I will have to find another way to keep tabs on my dear old friend! Maybe our 10 year reunion??? Miss ya and think about ya!

Hena

one word: CAROLINE.

also, please always share your lindor truffles with me.

dignity is *definitely* overrated in general. i mean, you need it at work (it adds emphasis when In A Situation, especially when you keep your dignity while everyone around you loses theirs). and it helps at certain occasions, like weddings and job interviews. but mostly, it's like a good jacket/skirt combo -- take it out, put it on, accessorize as needed and go, knowing that you look great and can deal with anything.

but dignity & friends? friends are people who love you, dignity or no.

yaz
faithful reader

that must have been one hell of a long weekend.

Dignity is highly overrated. After all, what are friends for?

What Mike and Chris said.

It's a toughie...you still reserve some modicum of anonimity on the internet, but you are also a blog personality...dunno what to tell you. I have thought of starting a private blog, but I like the idea of people reading my thoughts. I've also toyed with no comments or email...Interaction is a blessing and a curse.

I think between knowing you only as This Fish and keeping a blog of my own, it's easier to understand that the personas we project on our sites aren't completely the people we are to those who know us in the world outside. I wish sometimes I had preserved my anonymity by not telling anyone, because having a blog can make personal relationships more complicated.

I think it's pretty safe to say a lot of us would miss you. But whatever you decide, I hope you don't stop writing.

I'm adhering to your sidebar request of keeping this an "advice-free zone."

If it helps, I could withdraw my recent offer of friendship and professional mentoring. After all, you're all the way on the other side of town and therefore are G.U. (geographically undesirable, sorry, darlin'). The internet loves ya, Fish. Must be all those Omega3s.

There's no wrong answer here, Fish, and your real friends will support you whatever you decide.

Haven't been blogging as long as you, but have felt same pulls - and I haven't even met any of my blog buddies. I started a private blog and that helped ease some of my paranoia of "what if so-and-so finds out about my blog?"

Probably the bigger concern for me is the fact that public or private, I'm blogging on company time.

I know how you feel. When I realized how much I liked blogging and how much I wanted to share thispart of my life with people I know, I started another blog. But my old anon blog still remains. It's sorta the best of both worlds.

Oh, sure, go away and destroy us. Not a problem. It's just all about you, isn't it? :>)

Truly, I understand how difficult it is to suddenly have too many people (and sometimes one is all it takes) to "know" you and what you write. In the beginning it is rather like venting to a stranger on a five-hour plane flight: what you say there, stays there. But then one day you connect with others through the writing, you become known, and it is too hard to burden people you care about with all that truth and feeling.

It is the paradox we face in life every day: the more intimate we become, the less we share, the less we want to share. We fear driving away those whom we care about with too much knowledge about our inner life. I feel it all the time, H.

Overcoming the fear may be the only way to totally connect.

Go, stay. I don't know what's right for you.

Fondly,

I understand your dilemma Fish, and agree with Michael. The longer you write, the more you share, the harder it is to be as open as you were in the beginning. I guess it's much like a relationship - at some point, you've got to either give in and become vulnerable or close off and walk away. No advice as to which path to choose. That'd be against the rules.

a new reader, and one who's hoping to become an old reader. it's definitely more difficult to write once you have a cadre of readers who know you and expect something of you - just look at the number of comments - it's like there are all these people depending on you. one of the hardest things i find about blogging is the need to entertain people, to maintain my core readership (admittedly much smaller than yours) when sometimes my life doesn't feel all that entertaining. what if my melodrama sounds like whining or my aspirations sounds mundane? no advice here, just random observations. but pleas are allowed, right? i do hope you keep writing.

i am a non-anonymous blogger. it can be tricky, because there are stories i want to tell and people i want to blast--or gush over--and i've set it up so i can't. but we, the "known" are brave and honest. we have to be. we've both opened up our lives to the world (or, at least the blog reading world).

no advice here, but only my opinion. this is a great blog. it's the blog i wish mine was. you're an exceptional writer.

Yes, we would miss you. But I think the idea of opening a new anonymous blog might be the ticket. You could use it to be raw again and perhaps occaisionally post on This Fish or let it go dark altogether.

P.S. The new blog could be called something like "Word to the H-Dawg" or something. Just kidding.

Most people can identify with putting themselves out there. Blogs seem only a continuation of an old scenario.

Writers and journal-ists have been going through this for centuries. It is true the great writers expose a deeper part of themselves, earning the title of Tortured Artist. Their need for expressing themselves out weighed their exposure.

But, there is an even older scenario; friendship, and sharing yourself. You share something and we identify with it. That is what makes you a great writer. I will miss that if you go.

I hope you choose what is most important to you. What you need to fulfill your life. And all your “Friends” (Those who have met you and all us who have not) will support you as friends do.

I live in a different country and in essence a different world than you. I don't know you, but I do know your writing. It has made me laugh, made me think, made me cry, moved me in all the ways good writing can. If you fold up your tent and slip away all I can say is: Thank you, Fish.

PS I started my blog because your writing inspired me. Yup, This Fish had a minnow; I suspect there are others out there.

Heya, Fish:

I keep three blogs, myself. One (more or less) professional that sees very little personal stuff, one personal and anonymous to all except family and friends, and one (linked to my persona here) that's anonymous to all except my wonderful fiancee.

Compartmenting things that way is strange, because no one blog exposes all of my personality. The one I link to my reading-the-Fish persona is my outlet for negative emotions, and the personal one known to family and friends gets most of my positive emotions. My professional blog gets almost no emotion, but it does expose a bit more of the thing that keeps my ears from banging together. On the whole, I get to vent, but it's not as satisfying -- I've considered merging the two personal blogs, and consequences be damned.

I have all of the advice you want or need: none at all. Live like you want to live.

Thanks for sharing bits of your life with us!

Being selfish, I'm very glad to hear This Fish will still be in production. I am sorry to hear you're sad. Hope things get easier soon.

Hi Fish,

Sounds to me like you're pretty damn good at staying true to yourself and following your instincts. Keep doing that and, may I say, I hope your instincts tell you that continuing to publish your blog is the right thing for you.

I remember you mentioned a short time ago that someone mentioned to you that ThisFish is 'just the best written thing'. I wholeheartedly agree.

Best of luck with whatever you decide.

what Coelecanth said. The first bit. Thank you. No matter what you decide. :)

your 'partner' in Tims,
Jen

you must do what makes you happy. but you are my favorite blog to read. i just started this whole blogging thing and was so amazed by your blog, i went through most of the archives. even if you did it anonymously at first, your writing is amazing. you really write about your feelings, things that most of us go through, but do not write about or talk about. it's human and it makes me feel more normal or that i'm not the only one out there!

i agree completely with Coelecanth when they say, "has made me laugh, made me think, made me cry, moved me in all the ways good writing can. If you fold up your tent and slip away all I can say is: Thank you, Fish." Good wishes to you!!!

whatever you do, thank you for your humor, and allowing me to enjoy your city life through your words