“Someone must have really screwed you over!”
The conversation went forward without me for a minute as I sat thinking of approximately thirty-seven ways I could cause the girl bodily harm with a pair of chopsticks.
Thirty-eight. Thirty-nine.
The topic was dating and she was knee-deep in a melodramatic tale that had begun with, “I’m dating two men!” Details aside (which really made me shake my head at this girl’s definition of “dating”), I didn’t quite see the moral dilemma and offered the following:
“There are no rules. Date like a man. I doubt either of those guys would be putting this much worry into it. Especially after ONE date.”
That’s when she, a very near stranger, decided I was wounded and bitter. I was tired. I found her intensity annoying. And I was having a hard time accepting that having been out on one date with each of two men in the last twenty-four hours actually constituted dating. But bitter? Jesus. I thought I was playing at realism. The modern girl’s guide to dating.
Yes, I’ve been screwed over. We've all been screwed over. Having a less-than-Disney view of the dating game does not mean I’m a black-hearted she-beast. Cramming chopsticks down some loud girl’s throat? THAT would make me a black-hearted she-beast.
All I have to say is, thank god for Shiv who leapt into Safety Barrier Mode, changed the conversation and saved this unsuspecting girl from a fate worse than the extreme moral perversion of going on two dates in one week.
Seriously, either keep me away from that girl, or keep the utensils off the table.
Posted by This Fish at July 14, 2004 10:11 AMBRAVO! I totally agree with this statement...“There are no rules. Date like a man. I doubt either of those guys would be putting this much worry into it. Especially after ONE date.”
I was there once and this was my exact philosophy. You go girl! Date away, you are only young once so have fun with it. Afterall it's not like you're hooking up with each and every one of them, or are you? LOL
Had a first date on Monday night--four hours at a lovely bar. Guy's younger (29) to my ahem (33). Got lots of emails Monday...got one e-mail Tuesday and none so far today.
After having drinks for four hours with my charming self, I would have thought I rated a phone call...
Can I borrow the chopsticks--I think I could put them to good use.
--Rachel, Philly blogger
Posted by: Rachel at July 14, 2004 10:21 AMlet it be said:
i am officially looking forward to meeting you at the girly blogger day!! (ask krissa about me.)
Posted by: shana at July 14, 2004 10:28 AMGood for you showing remarkable restraint and not inserting chopsticks as described.
What she said was just plain rude. I agree with you. Why agonise over a couple of dates? How self obsessed.
I cannot say for certain that I would not have shoved the chopsticks up her nose...but that's me.
some people get so stuck in their own melodrama and have to rant at others who fail to give them the attention they crave. screw her.
Posted by: mingaling at July 14, 2004 03:39 PMI'd like to say that I don't think you are being bitchy at all.
This woman wanted to believe that she was having adventure and intrigue, a *titillating*, edgy dilemma. However, what she fails to know is that the purpose of "dating" is getting to know another person (or persons) well enough decide if you are ready to take it further with them: get serious, become a couple, etc. Where does this 'instant relationship' phenomenon come from? Expressing a mutual attraction to and curiosity about another person is just a START.
You gave her a much-needed reality check and she ain't liked it! That certainly does not make you a bitch.
You are perceptive and articulate to a degree that I aspire to...........
Unless, say, the two guys were brothers. Then that would be wrong.
Posted by: NEIN at July 14, 2004 06:43 PMYeah, get stupid girls like this out of the way--just when you think the phase of your life where you had to deal with silly little prudes was over, you find some 27 year old virgin or some girl who doesn't like to kiss or some girl who thinks a date with two guys is somehow (a) dating them or (b) wrong.
Why is this woman even in New York? She should go back to the small, worthless town from which she came.
Posted by: russ at July 14, 2004 08:16 PMI love coming here and finding nuggets... gems, if you will.
"...black-hearted she-beast..."
Perfect example!
Posted by: Mark at July 14, 2004 09:26 PMWhoa, now Russ. Chill on the meanness factor, alright?
Posted by: Fish at July 14, 2004 10:09 PMOne date does not constitute "dating". By the very -ing ending of the word, it constitutes an ongoing event. It's a gerund (yay for the one piece of grammar that stuck with me!) and she should learn how to use them.
But seriously, she was completely out of line. What is this, the 50s, that you can't say a sentence like "Date like a man" without being viewed as a she beast? Tell that girl to go read "Backlash" by Susan Faludi. Or at the very least watch a couple of episodes of "Sex and the City." The uncensored, un-TBS version.
Posted by: Julie at July 14, 2004 11:06 PMSorry, I'm NYC born and raised. You have to grow up tough in this town.
Posted by: russ at July 15, 2004 10:26 AM