August 06, 2004

is that a hickey?

Overheard at the office:

Employee #1: You have a gigantic hickey on your neck.
Employee #2: Itís not a hickeyÖ Itís a bite mark.
Employee #1: Is there a difference?

Is there a difference? Shame for even asking! Yes, thereís a difference. And Iíll explain and enlighten since, you know, Iíve got nothing real to write about today.

Hickeys suck:

There are several ways to get a hickey. Anything that sucks will do the trick. A vacuum hose, even a coffee mug that youíve sucked to your chin will leave such a mark. Though, clearly the preferred method is suction from another personís mouth. A visible hickey is, like acne, an adolescent marker. To quote an experienced friend, it is ďa concerted effort to brand one anotherĒ and is for teenagers fumbling around in back seats of their parent's cars. Hickeys are soggy and require something of a time investment -- quite a bit of sucking goes into a decently sized neck marker.

Bite me!

Precursor to a kiss, a little nip in the heat of passion may leave the same tell-tale bruising as the aforementioned hickey, but bite marks are a different beast entirely. Biting is not kidsí stuff. Itís sweaty, heady, a little pain-with-your-pleasure, I-want-to-devour-you stuff. Itís quick and surprising and very worth the investment of a good, all-purpose silk scarf if concealment becomes necessary. Besides, the same scarf may come in handy for other things. Like wrists.

And with that, Iím going to go take a nice, long walk and think pure thoughts.

Posted by This Fish at August 6, 2004 11:59 AM

Um. Thanks a lot. Now I need a nice long walk too.

Posted by: Beth at August 6, 2004 12:27 PM

i generally have the reverse problem. i am eternally chilled in the office - and am usually found wearing a scarf for warmth's sake. people always assume the worst. (or is that 'the best'?)

Posted by: semaphoria at August 6, 2004 12:43 PM

Pure. Sure.

Posted by: Paul Gutman at August 6, 2004 01:24 PM much fun have i been having today? I just discovered your site and feel fortunate for having done so. What's even more fun is that you know Sarah Brown!! I am a friend of hers from back in Tulsa. Be sure and keep her company there in the city. Keep up the good work, you have a new fan.

Posted by: steve at August 6, 2004 01:26 PM

Oh, Fish, am so glad to have you around to teach me such things. You are a woman of the world. ;)

Posted by: tab at August 6, 2004 04:17 PM

I thought you were more pleasure than pain?

And just to say hickeys don't have to be on the neck. There are other places where the time and the effort are well worth the .. um time and effort.

Still not as much pleasure as biting ...

Posted by: Adrian at August 6, 2004 04:23 PM

I agree with Adrian, there are plenty of places to hide a hickey or a bite! But I am more intrested in a little pain, not to much that could so kill the mood if someone drew blood!lol

Posted by: Chigirl at August 6, 2004 05:37 PM

thanks for that very apt definition. i shall use my new-found knowledge at every opportunity...

Posted by: eroica at August 7, 2004 08:10 AM

In high school, there was this history teacher who would spy the offending neck blemish and proceed into some memorized speech of teenage backseat antics.

We would know he had seen someone with a hickey, but were looking around to see if we could see it too.

One time this girl seriously was surprised when he stood by her desk and "crowned" her with some set of animal horns (as was usual). She claimed it was old and she'd clearly forgotten about it.

Posted by: GrumpyBunny at August 7, 2004 10:16 AM

Pure thoughts? Oh, Fish, that's so you!

Yours in purity,

Posted by: Michael at August 7, 2004 12:38 PM

Oooh, so funny! Reminded of my days back in high school - some girl gave herself a nasty chin hickey with a styrofoam cup. Everyone called her Cup Hickey.

Ahhhh ... memories.

Posted by: ellephantom at August 8, 2004 11:37 PM