“He looks good.”
My brother phones with an update on the way home from seeing Dad in the… place. The hospital? If I talk about it, I’ll call it the Looney Bin or the Nut House and I’ll probably offend someone. But that’s what Dad would call it. The Funny Farm.
“They’re keeping him until at least Friday.”
We don’t use the C-word. Maybe my brother does, but I block it out. I don't hear it. I don’t even say it later when Ari and I are watching Everybody Loves Raymond reruns and eating Chips-A-Hoy.
“So, what happened?”
“Nobody knows. My brother just got a message when he returned from backpacking that said, ‘This is where I am. Here is the phone number.’ No explanation, really.”
“But don’t you have to… I mean, to be committed…” She says the C-word timidly. “… don’t you have to be a harm to yourself or others?”
I slide down on her leather sofa and cringe. The most danger my father ever was to others was spinning donuts in the icy parking lot in our old silver Buick, We Three hollering in the backseat, delighted and terrified. But my imagination panics with all the ways he could have been a harm to himself.
I go home and throw up again.
Fish - at least he went where he could get some help. He reached out, and he's staying in touch. That is SO the mark of a fighter!! And it means that he's aware something is wrong - maybe he doesn't know what to do about it, but he knows. Hang in there, kiddo!!
Posted by: lawyerchik1 at August 10, 2004 09:46 AMditto to lawywrchick's comments.
Posted by: chlamygirl at August 10, 2004 10:54 AMDitto again. And one doesn't have to be a danger in any form to be 'committed'; if you feel you need help you can simply check yourself in.
Posted by: Dan at August 10, 2004 11:17 AMHang in, Fish. This is going to get straightened out - they help people in hospitals. Just remember that.
And in response to your last post, you made the right choice to come to New York. All of us who are here made the right choice. Just sometimes it's hard to remember that. We've all questioned our decision to move here - don't let yourself think you're the only one. Just believe that you're here for a reason. Because you are. So there. :)
Posted by: Julie at August 10, 2004 12:52 PMSometimes some people just need to go someplace. Someplace away and safe. Someplace to get help.
There are others who have gone through these times with family. We understand and are thinking of you.
JDP
Posted by: Jonathan at August 10, 2004 01:03 PMMy understanding is that there are two ways in, being committed, which might require things like the police, family statements...The other way is the patent walks in. It sounds as though your dad figured he needed some help, and didn't want to do the cooking while he gets the help.
Posted by: some guy at August 10, 2004 01:21 PMthere are lots of reasons to be admitted w/o being comitted; drug/alchohal abuse, mental breakdown, post traumatic shock to name a few.
best to you and yours, fish.
Posted by: hubs at August 10, 2004 03:23 PMsending good karma out there, and hoping that it reaches both you and your father. i know that more is needed, and that will come from those close to you. just wanted to let you know there are lots of us thinking of you and wishing you the best that can be right now.
Posted by: bikefox at August 10, 2004 03:48 PMThoughts and prayers for you and your family. Hang in there.
Posted by: Smitty at August 10, 2004 07:33 PMi'll say a special prayer for you and your family tonight. hang in there.
Posted by: mickey glitter at August 10, 2004 09:12 PMFish, honey, may he be healed soon. Was he in Vietnam?
And now you must take care of yourself. Let your friends help--even that Republican Ari!
:>)
Posted by: Michael at August 10, 2004 10:58 PMMy sister has been involuntarily and voluntarily committed a few times because people felt she was a danger to herself - and several times she probably was. It's so painful to get through, but after a few days they get released, on medication and seeing consellors. The fear never leaves something might happen, you don't want to hear it but thats the grim reality.
The throwing up is probably a normal reaction, happened to me a lot too. Just get through it. The nurses here (Kitchener, Canada) were usually rude because of the amount of people in their care, but do't take it personally. Visit often if you are allowed, and always be supportive. Bring your father his favourite coffee/smokes/food, especially the food because it's hard not to have something you enjoy.
Sorry for rambling.
Posted by: marko Savic at August 11, 2004 03:06 AMThe "C" word is a scary proposition for anyone to face, but it sounds like he's got a supportive family, and whatever the case may be, that, in the end will be the most important factor in his recovery.
Posted by: Jager at August 11, 2004 05:50 AMHey, chin up, fish! If your dad voluntarily walked in to get help, thats the best possible sign.
I wish mine had done the same. I miss him a lot.
He made a choice to get help, that is a heroic thing to do. I hope peace comes to you and your family, and you have all our support. take care Fish.
Posted by: Chigirl at August 11, 2004 10:24 AM