October 17, 2004

pasties and pastries

Removing pasties is like ripping off a Band-Aid. Only, lots bigger and on really sensitive spots. I am writing this post to avoid that very activity.

Any thoughts I had of returning the Dress flew from my little head the moment Biscuit took his first “oh my god,” inhale, and sadly, reentered it the moment I spilled choclate wedding cake all down the front of yards of designer red whatever-this-is material.

I’m drunk.

And just in from Krissa and Stuart’s wedding party. I cried, I drank sangria, I ate (and ate some more), drank a bit more sangria and finally tottered out the door and home to my cold pizza, warm bed and the prospect of ripping off these pasties. I can’t fucking do it. My vote is for sleeping in them and hoping the shower can steam them off.

On a strange side note: There’s a scar on my left breast from two consecutive biopsies last year. It showed in the Dress. It’s a little difficult not being embarrassed by it even after three or four glasses of sangria -- it being significanty pinker now against my post-tan season skin. But you know what? Fuck that noise. It’s my badge of honor. A battle wound. At the very least, somethin’s gotta draw attention to my less-than-ample cleavage, right?

Of course, right.

I’m going to bed. Rock the fuck on.


And blah blah happy forever after blah. I love you kids!

Posted by This Fish at October 17, 2004 01:23 AM
Comments

Ooo, I've never been the first to comment here. It must be because everyone OVER THERE is in bed. Very good. So, um, what's a pastie? I figure that they are on your skin and that they are sticky and will hurt to pull off, but what are they doing there? Are they holding something up? Or down?!
Is the boiler fixed?

Posted by: Di Gallagher at October 17, 2004 01:35 AM

The woman pictured here is wearing pasties. Link probably not safe for work.

Posted by: Frankenstein at October 17, 2004 08:45 AM

oh come on! that's so much dirtier than what i meant.

here

Posted by: Fish at October 17, 2004 09:19 AM

I'm just trying to ed-u-cate our friends from abroad. ;-)

Posted by: Frankenstein at October 17, 2004 09:36 AM

A little baby oil goes a long way, Read the package you tossed out. Ripping them off in a swift motion will also help take your mind off the hang over. Make sure to wash them and put them away so you may enjoy the experince again, In another 1000 years.

This comment was brought to you by a guy who has had to remove them once or twice. (as a favor of course).

Posted by: B at October 17, 2004 10:02 AM

Is pasties really the right word for what's shown in that.. um.. less dirty picture? Because I was totally thinking more like the first picture, and really curious about why you were wearing those under a dress.

Posted by: jennn at October 17, 2004 01:56 PM

I always believed the purpose of pasties was (when you're not wearing a bra) so that your nipples won't show through from underneath a lightweight material.

Posted by: Hilary at October 17, 2004 02:02 PM

Me, too Hilary. Which is why I wore them.

And even if that's not what they're called...that's what we're callin' them at thisfish dot com. Check all previous concepts at the door. :)

Posted by: Fish at October 17, 2004 02:11 PM

Wow, one of my friends is like that: all sweet and nice, and never swears unless drunk.

Oddly enough, I learnt about pasties from her too. Apparently, you can get ones that are stiff, to lend some support. I think they stiffen up like bioré strips. Ouch.

Posted by: Gopi at October 17, 2004 03:03 PM

I'm from the Uk and although i wasn't sure what a pastie was I was right on what i had in my head...a pastie here is a kind of pie thing...not a good luck under your amazing dress...

Will the choc cake stain???

Posted by: Kelly Fisher at October 17, 2004 04:44 PM

What did you ladies do in the old days? Ya know even before the clear straps? Am I correct in assuming these dresses are meant to be worn...Hmmm "commando style"? Or is this dress style the result of the "pasty"? I think this needs further study..

we need funding for the project
there must be a grant we can get!

Posted by: B at October 17, 2004 05:34 PM

What are pasties?

Is that a bad question?

Should I go?

Posted by: Watski at October 17, 2004 05:53 PM

HA! I read you every day. I am a professional lurker, but I had to chime in. Pasties (rhymes with nasty)are also a popover-y thing filled with meat and potatoes. When I read the first sentence I thought, "Huh, why would pasties be hard to remove, and why are you removing them??" I'm a little slow on the uptake. FYI try icing your boobs first. BTW good for you and your biopsy scar; you might have had a lot more tissue removed had you not had one!

Posted by: Sheryl at October 17, 2004 07:02 PM

If you go without, then attention is drawn to the nipples, thus distracting attention away from scars, camouflage by misdirection. Yes, I am a genius*.
*or maybe just guy who likes nipples

Posted by: some guy at October 17, 2004 08:21 PM

personally, I'm a "petal pusher"-- not the pants, the pasties... they're petals, and they don't hurt. Ricky's sells 'em--get this--in different skin tone colors. I swear it's Fisher Price for boobs.

Posted by: StephanieKlein at October 17, 2004 08:23 PM

Now that first picture link, I'd be thinking more along the lines of 'tassles' as a name for those and they certainly don't look like they would hurt much to take off, seeing as there is err, so little of them...
And pastie is a much shorter name than the one my head had given to them, which is 'Those things that stick under your boobs to hold them in place so you don't have to wear a bra'.

Posted by: Di Gallagher at October 17, 2004 10:08 PM

Thank god the biopsies were negative. Been there once, never again. Keep well.

Posted by: Michael at October 18, 2004 09:37 AM

That's funny that you mentioned biopsies cause I actually share that wonderful experience. Except mine's on the right breast. I just want to tell you that I noticed absolutely NOTHING of tehe scar of which you speak Saturday night and thought you looked gorgeous in your red dress! I also felt incredibly self-concious too before my third glass of sangria for my sweat stains which finally disappeared by the end of the night. Ah well. Funny how we still manage to look fabulous and confident despite all our self-obsessed insecurities!

Posted by: Anna at October 18, 2004 03:48 PM

I totally agree with the scars being a badge of honor. I have several. They make me different from everyone else. I had to go through a huge ordeal to get most of them (especially the ones visible to people) so I should be proud of them. You should be proud of yours too. You were triumphant. Congrats.

Posted by: mike at October 19, 2004 09:49 AM