This Fish Needs A Bicycle

Oh my GOD, it's not just the Fringed Bangs and the Gold Lame Shoes (accent omitted on purpose). You're forgetting the entire wardrobe is from American Apparel.

Aw, Fish. They're just jealous and being vicious. Don't dignify it with a response.

Hell, I'M jealous, but I wouldn't react to that feeling by blogging nasty things about someone. These people are NOT worth your time. I enjoyed the article and as I said, I'm supremely jealous!!!

Daniella,

It's not so much to dignify it as to have something to write about. I mean, God, I haven't been on a date or eaten ice cream in several days, so I gotta come up with something.

I eat plain flavored oatmeal.

And just posting "lindsayism et al are a bunch of big fat jealous little witches" is a tad too concise and dull. Kisses sugar, I thought it was great and insanely exciting!!!

I often think that if a gas leak caused the Vice store to blow up while they were having some sort of packed event inside it would be a wonderful thing.

My stylist recently gave me fringed bangs.

I hate it.

Please do not change anything about your writing! I come here daily and read for a reason. I love it! Ignore all those lame asshats out there who have nothing better to do than tear others down!

Shut up.

www.whatevs.org has some interesting comments regarding this....

ABC: Don't they all. But please note, anonymous comments are not accepted here, and will be deleted and blocked. House rules.

Given the medium, it's no surprise people were going to weigh in on their own blogs. That doesn't mean we need to give equal weight to everything that's said. I don't mean to say that it isn't hard or hurtful to be on the receiving end of the snark.

Do what you do. It's clear that it works for you, and for those of us who'd rather cheer you on than tear you down.

Fish - I love your blog. I read it everyday. But then again, who am I? I draw cats for fun. Clearly I am a total loser. ;)

Are we to call people who behave this way hipsters now? What ever happened to bitches?

Hello
I noticed that the author does not like quaker oatmeal. Every morning, I eat a double serving of quaker origional hot oat meal. I can't start my day without it. I would like to know why you seem to dislike it? Please be honest.

-Dan

Dear Dan,

I actually really do love oatmeal (with brown sugar). But let's face it: it's boring. Like shredded wheat and vanilla ice cream. Which I also love.

Honestly,

H

Why is it that it's somehow not acceptable to want or pursue a partner? It's the most natural desire in the world! People seem to think that those of us in happy relationships (myself included) got there by wandering around, professing our contentment at being alone, and saying that we didn't need/want a man. I will be the first to admit that I've put myself in situations that I'm not proud of, and even now that I'm in love I am the victim of occasional fear and insecurity, leading me to webstalk his ex or wonder if that sexy new architect at the office is looking his way. Can we all just be human for a minute and admit that even the most intelligent, successful and beautiful of us have insecurities?

I think any negative reaction can be summed up as such: some people read your article and recognized something in themselves that they don't like, and won't admit to. I think you are incredibly brave for not only admitting your insecurities, but coming to terms with them in such an eloquent and public way.
For the record, I read you every day during the week. When I opened the Sunday times I was really excited to see your name in print! Keep it up.

I like Sally, who draws cats for fun. I suppose the only thing better was if she drew cats for WORK. Anyway, I digress. I meant to ask, who is at the forefront of this new Hipster Feminism? Can you throw some names at us? It can't possibly be the likes of Betty Friedan, Camille Paglia, or Kate Millett. Could they?

My father loves oatmeal, but since Adult Onset Diabetes (Type 2) kicked in, he had to forego the brown sugar, and as further dedication to his health, takes it plain-o. He also thinks nava-beta crackers pop with flavor.

Has this movement reach the mid-west? Or like all other things, are we on the customary 3-year lag?

You're so right. Writing about dating, and not having boyfriends is like sooooo 2003. It's all sex blogging these days.

Shame on you. I bet you'll be blogging 2004 stuff next year too.

Seeesh didn't you get the blogging memo.

with a slash wink.

Oh Christ, did you really just break it down between downtown hipsters and uptown sorority girls? You must paint chihuahua shit on your fingernails, cause that's what you seem to be typing with here. Really, how old are you? I'm glad you strictly adhered to the principle "That a person's entire character can be defined by a response to a single situation" when you established your oh-so poignant hipster's guide to feminism. Wait, was that irony?? Damn, you ARE clever. I get it, you're a technicality writer!

Sadly, in truth you are retarded and your writing is awful. And I'm not basing that on one response, it's the entire body of work here. But hey, crap is rewarded everyday and there appears to be a huge market of morons for it. On that point, congrats for tapping into it. Reminds me of this exchange from Sixteen Candles:

"Yeah, but the thing is I'm kinda like the leader. Kind of like the King of the Dipshits."

"Well that's pretty cool. Hey, but a lot can happen over a year. I mean, you could come back next fall as a completely normal person."

As I said in my reply to the angry email you sent me, Fish:
"You should be proud of yourself for getting in the NY Times and not put stock in the
opinions of random bloggers (me), unless you want to learn from those criticisms or something.
I hope you didn't let my post ruin your day. I'm a nice person, I really am. We just have two fundamentally different ways of looking at
the world, and I reserve the right to comment on articles I read in the Times without feeling bad about it."

(And I'm a lot of things, but "jealous" isn't one of them. Have you ever heard of Alexa.com?)

I
1) never said you were jealous.
2) never said you should feel bad about what you wrote.
3) NEVER wrote you an angry email.

this post is a review of the response to the NYT column, yours and others. *Just* like your review, it ain't personal.

... because really Fish, folks should just be able to go off on you in the pettiest manner possible on their blogs, just preface it by saying it is not personal. When it clearly is. Jealous and bitter are a terrible combo. So is being an utter bitch, mind you, I mean nothing personal ;)

Can it get any more ridiculous than warring *bloggers*?

I was critiquing the NEW YORK TIMES. The NEW YORK TIMES. I've done it a million times before, and I've never gotten personal emails from bent-out-of-shape writers before. It's just not professional.

I will say this for clarification's sake, Lindsay:

I emailed you to apologize for any unfriendly email you'd received from any of my friends. I ALSO conceded that your review of my work was fair, but that I found one statement to be a bit hypocritical.

I believe it was a fair exchange.

Ok, true, I just reread it and you were mostly apologizing. It was more your friends who were angry.

Uhm... lindsay, you call her article and her blog awfulness. You write that you felt shame after reading it. I'm sorry, not personal? Not bitchy?

Explain to this dumb-as-wood UES how you were not being a total bitch?

If I were a guy criticizing a personal essay in the paper of record, would I be called a "bitch" then? Do you not understand that there is a long tradition of bloggers critiquing the Times, or do you only read blogs of the "what I've recently purchased and/or eaten" variety? I understand that she's your friend, but she didn't write a book report about Goodnight Moon for her elementary school paper. What is written in the Times is expected to be viewed critically. The kitchen is hot.

Slug it out over email, please.

If you're going to invoke a classic feminist phrase please be prepared to be criticized over it.

Ari is a misogynistic asshole and he's exactly the type of guy that every girl, uptown or downtown or midwest, should avoid. He wants to play all sensitive but he'll be the first to bitch-slap you if you get out of line. He's a misguided, reactionary prick. Happy "fish" hunting, fella.

Fish, at least you provoked a response from your writing, which, if not as good as being liked for it, is still better than it simply slipping beneath the radar into obscurity. Right? And while I don't think it is nice to put other folk down in your blog, it was a newspaper article and therfore pretty much fair game. Though personal slights are not really necessary in critiques.
We all value our freedom of speech, so why don't we just all agree to disagree and get back to our regular programming?

Ari's a woman, and quite proud of it...

Fooled me, Frankenstizz.

http://www.babynamenetwork.com/detail.cfm?name=Ari&gender=Male

Are you sure Ariella doesn't have a penis? Have you personally checked her?

**Irony would also like to point out that PAT is the most androgynous name there is. **

I guess I don't understand what the brouhaha (love the word, will continue to use it) is about. Fish wrote an article for the NYT. If you don't like the content... then don't read the article. It goes back to the old "there's two buttons on the radio" speech. There's no need to be hateful. Criticism doesn't have to be a bad thing, but let it be constructive and not so darn personal!!

I, for one, found it entertaining, and I'm fond of reading about the exploits of fellow single women. It makes me feel not so quite alone.

In regards to oatmeal... I would just like the OPTION of the assorted box to not have PLAIN. Why do you always have to be stuck with it?

cat fight!

i read the times article via a link from stereogum. and while i was reading it i thought that you were the other girl the whole time. i didn't know you were the author till i finished the article. it was alright.

menderz, how are you supposed to know if you like the content or not if you don't read the article?

all oatmeal sucks.

My goodness, isn't all this riDONculous.

Fish, I'm here for you, no matter what any of these silly people think. I think your writing is fabulous, entertaining, and real.

You certainly inspire me to wish I were a better writer. ;)

Forget about her, Fish. She smacks of trying too hard. Of all the blogs I've fallen in and out of love with over the past few years, yours is the only one I come back to time and time again. And there are scores of readers here who would say the same. You're honest and real, in a web-world full of hipper-than-thou wannabes. There's something to be said for that.

There will always be naysayers.
Forget the naysayers.
Fish rocks.

-LG

Fish, I like your ideas on hipster feminism. IMO sometimes women want to be treated as equals by men and sometimes they want to be treated as special. Guys who are smart enough to ignore this inconsistency can have their choice of girlfriends.

Yes, S, we can. Stay tuned.

Men need women more then women need men. Known fact. But have the mean people explain why more and more people are getting Married?

Rock on fish.

I eat plain yogurt, I am not a loser (yet)

It's odd that you would label that behaviour 'feminism' but since feminism has become a dirty word, particularly to a whole lot of younger women, I suppose it's as convenient an insult as any. Feminism was so much more than bra burning and marches and "hating men" in the 70s(actually it was hating patriarchy and a lot of women were breaking free of dull, confining, suburban marriages). When young women (bloggers) write about sex and dating, particularly because it's still relatively new to them, a lot of that writing is the same and yes some of it is boring because it's common as dirt. I found your J 'period' contained a lot of insight... glad for you it's past because it was painful - but it was insightful, honest and interesting. And there are a lot of women who don't write that way in the painful periods or otherwise. It would be interesting for you to dump the comments feature and just write without feedback. It'll be easier to focus on your writing and not what your readers think of you. And remember, many writers are horrified by the readers who like them...because um they aren't necessarily the kind of people you want liking you and they aren't the kind of people you'd ever like. Forget the readers.

Wait a second! Lindsay(ism) links to queserasera.org (aka Sarah B) who is friends with (friendly with?) Fish. Incestuous, indeed!

Lindsay is a terrible writer and always has been, BUT she has great ideas. Fish is a great writer, but has chosen to write about boys & love alot -- blech! Perhaps the two should join forces. Ditch the proverbial stereotype bad boy musician (women in competition with each other) and become friendly and dominate the writing world and put all the boys to shame. Women UNITE fergodsake!

From one writer to another, this is just one example of the essence of language and communication...Look at the ruckus your article has birthed! Oh, I love it! My thing is, though, that many may have gotten the wrong idea of what the article was about...I feel like that girl in my 9th grade AP English class who would often say that various elements of famous poems (ie. roses, rain, wind, etc.) respresented things totally different from what the teacher, most of my classmates, and ALL of academia said those things supposedly represented.

That's the beauty of writing to me...the whole subjectivity of the thing...SO, in saying that, why am I the only one, at the sight of the word FEMINISM in this argument, going "HUH?" (with upcurled lip and raised eyebrow a la my homegirl in that high school English class)

Here's what I thought was the main idea of the article: You were expressing the finesses of blogging and how this whole subculture can become an entity all its own, providing a manifestation of everyday life. You were exposing people like me (who thought until a few weeks ago that blogging was some new phenomenon only previously kind to politico freaks and Internet geeks) to a whole new world, something refreshing and insightful.

So, where did this whole FEMINISM thing come from? I mean, true, you were talking about laments of love and chase, of stalking and lust, of fierce curiosity and remorse...And yes, it did include a musician whom you were involved with...But, like anyone who cares anything about analyzing writing, I knew those were only pieces to the whole blog puzzle.

The fact that blogs were used to connect you and the guy, the fact that they connected you to the woman who he was seeing on the side, the fact that your article has led many to "tune in" on your daily happenings is a far more interesting topic to me than debating whether women should feel stupid for caring or not caring about having a man or for simply being human enough to want to know the whereabouts of someone we care about...I even wrote about the whole thing in my blog on another site. It inspired me...

Sociologists write about these things all the time...I'm going into college mode here... I wonder has anyone ever studied the sociological implications of blogging...(And not those books on the impact of blogging on politics or it's impact on a candidate's plight for a seat...I mean, the sheer human elements of it and how it helps shape the connection between people,namely TOTAL STRANGERS)

I mean, Carrie did it all the time on Sex and the City...Columnists, authors, journalists, Oprah, that woman down the street who always begins every sentence with, "Girl, lemme teelllll you..." They all "blog"(with some getting paid VERY well for it.) Blogging is nothing more than an extension of ourselves that uses the Internet as a tool to release expressive simplicities. It's a module of exhibitionism, escapism, a venue for social discourse and pure human accord.
(NO, NO, I DIDN'T COPY THOSE WORDS...THOSE ARE ELOQUENTLY MOI...HEY WEBSTER FOLKS, DON'T BITE THE DEFINITION!)

Okay, I typed all that just to say, keep writing what you write. It's life, it's YOUR life, it's all of our lives...That's why people care so much to even respond...Be blessed

P.S. Plus, I sort of trust the judgment of the editors at The Times when they chose to run your editorial(from the depths of a sea of more than hundreds of submissions) I'm a little impartial (me being in the business and all)

There are many buttons on the radio, but I must protest the reference to how there are two, considering their "on" and "off" properties. Usually, they are the same button. Maybe it should be the "there's one button on the radio, but it can be used for two purposes" speech.

And hey:

-I think Lindsay is a good writer.
-Plain oatmeal waits for those patient and smart enough to eat it.
-Please. Remember that life is fun. With men, with women, with the pursuit of either, with oatmeal, with TONS of plain oatmeal, with the potential to dispute any point, valid or otherwise. Superficial or non. Personally, I thought the article was terrible, but I'm nonetheless pleased that the author still gives me the chance to comment.

Sideways congrats on making the Times. Good luck with other things.

Two knobs on an old fashioned radio:

One to turn it on and off. And one to change the station.

Lindsay is a fantastic writer and has quite a following (not to mention a cool writing job) to show for it. As for the radio buttons, I think she pointed out that she was critiquing the New York Times on her blog. So you think that if people don't like the New York Times, they should shut up and push the button? I'm not a fan of the article or the attitudes expressed in it, either, and I think they do give women a bad name, but I won't say anything about this blog because I agree with the radio theory in the case of blogs.

The thing us academic eggheads like to point out is that there is no one FEMINISM. There are feminismS. There are many brands of feminism out there, and your hipster feminism sounds a lot like a new definition of a specific type of practice. I hate it when people accuse a human of being "bad" or "good" -ism because of a single moment, a single opinion. We are all allowed our daily shifts in opinion, or else we are not growing.

I also hate it when I miss a good fight. I knew there was something going on cause Stephanie made a comment on her blog but I didn't know where to go to find the scuffle. Now I'll have to look, cause I'm terribly curious about people who live in glass houses.

I would hate it if you were to turn off comments! I rarely read for long a blog that doesn't let people interact-- that's part of the whole point of blogging. Yes, you write for you. But we really love the community that is built around the writing. You can and should delete the jerks who anonymously post snipey things. But I have never seen you not be gracious in your replies to others (or if not gracious, correctly snipey back.)

I loved the article. I'm glad you wrote it. And the article was NOT about feminism. Guess what folks, LOTS of feminists get married, have relationships (with men and women) and have hearts. It has nothing to do with how devoted you are to a political movement designed to fight for equality for all genders. Read bell hooks "Feminism is for Everybody" if you don't get it.

You can't make monster cookies without plain oatmeal... what would life be without monster cookies?!

That's all folks!
Looking forward to your emailed comments on this topic.