I just met the Snorer!
For the eight months or so that I’ve been living in my apartment, I’ve been aware that I was living upstairs from a man with a remarkable snoring capacity. I don’t hear street traffic in my apartment (even with the windows thrown wide), but I hear the Snorer.
He’s typically asleep and sawing away before I go to bed each night, and the moment I lay my head on the pillow, we’re bonded by his night music. Every single night.
At times, I’ve even suspected there was more than one of him, the range and volume has been so incredible. But because he’s so graciously put up with me coming home tipsy and clattering about in stilettos in the wee hours of the morning (not to mention Sir Hal’s late night mishaps), the Snorer and I have lived together in perfect stranger harmony.
In the lobby just now, I held the elevator door as a stout man in a wooly sweater got in. He pushed the button for his floor and made friendly conversation.
Hello, how are you?
Fine, thanks.
Strange weather out.
Mmm hmm. Makes me think of flying monkeys.
When he got out at the floor below mine and I heard his keys in the lock before the elevator doors had even shut, I just knew. I’d just met my downstairs neighbor. I’d just met the Snorer!
Now if only I could make the acquaintance of the Baker of Yummy-Smelling Things on the second floor. That would be a relationship worth pursuing.
Oh, NY apartment life sounds so romantic!
At least, it does to this suburbia/dorm-room dweller!
Posted by: janna at November 21, 2004 08:41 PMJanna,
Do you think of NY apartment living the way you do 'cause because all you smell people cooking is microwave popcorn and ramen?
Fish,
Lovelovelove your writing. About snoring neighbors and everything else.
Yes, and because I heard that you don't have to leave the building to take the trash out! Amazing!
Posted by: janna at November 21, 2004 09:23 PMJust wanted to let you know, that if you are sleepy and try to type your website into the computer, and accidently type www.thefish.com, it's quite amusing!
Posted by: ladymathematician at November 21, 2004 11:22 PMOh yes, not being able to sleep because the guy downstairs is snoring loud enough to keep you away is so very romantic. Not to mention hearing your neighbors having their weekly knock-down, throwing things across the room fight. And the ambulances tearing down Columbus Avenue at 4 o'clock in the morning.
And then there are the cockroaches, the laundry problem, and the fact that the heat continually vacillates between two states: broken, which renders your apartment suitable for use as a walk-in freezer; or full-blast sauna where anything more than a t-shirt and shorts will leave you sitting in a pile of your own sweat.
Oh, that's just so Breakfast at Tiffany's.
Posted by: Frankenstein at November 21, 2004 11:33 PMHA!
Come on, Paul. Don't go hatin' on New York apartment life. It can be sweet and idyllic... with the right medication. ;)
Oh, don't get me wrong, H--you know I love it (ere why would I still be here?). I'm just sayin' it ain't all peaches and cream; the neighbors are much more likely to be Felix and Oscar than Ross and Monica, ya know?
Posted by: Frankenstein at November 22, 2004 09:02 AMI am jealous; you have a "baker of yummy-smelling things" and I had "the swine who cooked with 34 lbs. of garlic AND curry AND cumin" every other day.
damitol!
Posted by: Robotnik at November 22, 2004 02:13 PM