I’ve just finished a yoga class and I’m sitting here playing with a container of strawberry yogurt (playing in the way your mother instructed you not to do with food), feeling a little bit weepy and not at all at one with anything, much less the universe.
I began 2004 draining vodka tonics in a Hell’s Kitchen lounge with two girlfriends, the man I was sleeping with, and the woman he was dating. Now, if that’s not the way to kick off a year a girl can be proud of, I don’t know what is. I’m just glad I never made any claims of moral superiority. I mean, wouldn’t that be embarrassing?
Everyone goes through this, I know. Periods of self-flagellation, feeling disgust for their own weaknesses and wearing regret like an ill-fitting, itchy turtleneck sweater. I’m just glad I chose to do it on New Year’s Eve. Because, you know, nothing says party! like a permanent scowl and an upset stomach.
The bright side is: I know the discomfort is temporary and that it can only lead to change -- which is ultimately what a new year is good for. It’s out with the old, my friends.
To a smarter, saner new year. And may old acquaintance really be forgot.
Right ON!
I've been in some bad situations but I was just wondering how you came about spending last New Years with the man you were sleeping with and the girl he was dating? THat must have been awful..
Posted by: al at December 31, 2004 02:25 PMTESTIFY, sister. i agree whole-heartidly. happy new year to you .... may 2005 be the best yet!
Posted by: red at December 31, 2004 03:00 PMAMEN to saner and smarter. Though it always seems that the energy and fervor with which we say such things is usually null and void by the 3rd week of January, as it left for the evening with the diets and crazy workout regimens we so energetically swore to adhere to.
Posted by: D at December 31, 2004 03:51 PMx2 amen. This time last year, Portia and I were glueing sparkles to our eyelids to the point of complete reflection. Amen to smarter and saner fashion choices as well. Have a good one, and thanks for all the great writing! mags
Posted by: Mags at December 31, 2004 03:57 PMNot the best of years, I agree, but look to a brighter 2005.
Last New Year's Eve, I spent quietly at home having just buried both my Mom and Dad within 6 weeks of each other.
This year, my Wife died on Christmas Day. Utterly senseless. We were only together 2 years, 6 months, and 10 days. I loved her beyond words.
So it was not the Best Year in my book either.
I suggest finding comfort in "The Big Lebowski."
(Don't rent it, buy it.) THE DUDE ABIDES.
Words to remember...
Happy New Year, Kiddo. Keep up the Good Work.
Posted by: West Side B at December 31, 2004 04:31 PMyou put this into words really well. :)
happy new year. dammit.
Posted by: rainy at December 31, 2004 06:17 PMHappy New year Ms Fish! :) Chin up buttercup!
Posted by: Amanda at December 31, 2004 06:57 PMI completely understand where you are coming from Fish. It's good to hear that you have a little faith stored away. Reminds me at a bleak time in my life right now that things do get better, if I let them. Tell someone in your life that you need a big hug and know you have people out there who virtually are.
Posted by: jimmy c at January 1, 2005 04:54 AMWest Side...I can relate: "Strikes and gutters..."
Wishing you a year of strikes.
lx
Posted by: Robotnik at January 1, 2005 10:45 AMhappy new year fish. here's to a far, far better year. i'm pretty sure you're already there, despite your weepy yoga afterglow.
Posted by: julia at January 1, 2005 12:31 PMYou should be commended for your honesty with yourself and your peeps. Sounds like a splendid way to start this year. So much so that we are looking forward to your December 31 2005 and 1/1/2006 posts.
Posted by: Cheers at January 1, 2005 03:07 PMGood luck for the New Year! I do like your blog...
Posted by: AdventureGirl at January 1, 2005 04:14 PM
happy happy to you for being a favorite blogger.
cheers!
The comment by adventurewoman reminded me that I am supposed to be on one of her flights soon, but I don't want to fly now. It's a small world even when the blog universe is included. ;)
Posted by: Cheers at January 1, 2005 06:48 PMHappy New Year to the writer of my favorite blog!
Posted by: Tammi at January 1, 2005 07:21 PMHere's a toast to 2005... As for me, I kicked 2004 in the ass as it went out the door.
It can only get better! Love your blog.
Posted by: Susan at January 2, 2005 01:39 PMJust found your blog today, and what a great day to start reading it! I love how January 1 is an automatic clean slate.
Eager to keep checking in and hope this becomes your "breakout" year.
Posted by: PLD at January 2, 2005 03:03 PMyou know, the only way to really forget old acquaintance is to replace him with new, improved acquaintance. plus, if new acquaintance is younger, stronger and better looking than old acquaintance, it tends to irk old acquaintance to no end. i'm just saying.
Posted by: brando at January 2, 2005 07:51 PMas my yoga instructor says, metta, dear Fish.
Posted by: S at January 3, 2005 12:14 AM"Everyone goes through this, I know. Periods of self-flagellation, feeling disgust for their own weaknesses and wearing regret like an ill-fitting, itchy turtleneck sweater. I’m just glad I chose to do it on New Year’s Eve. Because, you know, nothing says party! like a permanent scowl and an upset stomach."
God bless you for this blog! I thought I was the only one who'd experienced this on New Year's 04! Love it! Be blessed.
Posted by: Jane at January 5, 2005 10:21 PM