This Fish Needs A Bicycle

how about RETURN it - grab the cash and treat yourself? he shouldn't benefit from a swell gift at this stage...you would be rewarding bad behaviour

There is an arguement either way to send not send. Sending is the moral high road. It's the fulfillment of a thoughtful act. However, present events may rule this irrelevant, if the gift is very highly personal, as opposed to just individualized, if it cares a senitiment that no longer has any weight. Mom would say, "It's the thought that counts", but most mom marry their high school sweetheart and no little of heartache or dating in general.

But, um, he technically did nothing wrong. I wouldn't be rewarding bad behavior at all. Besides, the gift can't be taken back.

No no no. It's called Ebay. Do not send to boy. Do not. Bad. Bad. Bad idea. He'll just roll his eyes and see it as a strategic move. Keep the cord cut. Besides, eveyone has to Ebay something at least once... people will buy anything. Used shoes, sheets, and yes, gifts for short-sighted dumbass blind lovers (like the uniform man).

This is an entry that screams for advice. What to do. What to do. Pitch it or send it back to him or don't worry about it and make up your mind Thursday on a whim. Did I spell that right? Anyway, you are allowed as many whims as you wish this week. Right?

he will think you still are pinning over him. i know if something ended, and i still got a gift -id think the gal was having a rough time getting over me. sell it on ebay. ebay rocks.

i know i'd fedex the gift to him just in case he was really Getting Ready when the bandaid was ripped off.

give him the gift. you're quite capable of handling it. All of it.

In the words of Scarlette O'Hara "think about it tomorrow", or in a week. I won't go bad, will it? In the mean time, shove it in a closet.

i've with stephanie, eBay is the only way to go at this point. people WILL by anything, often at ridiculously over-inflated prices. yay for capitalism.

Yes, I thought this site didn't welcome advice. So I won't add to the above. However, "Down With Love" is quite delicious. Makes you pine for those good ol' days most of us have never seen (too young) or experienced. Next up, "Breakfast at Tiffany's" although every time I see George Peppard in his early, handsome incarnation, I can't help hearing: "I love it when a plan comes together." Thanks Stephen J. Cannell for ruining a great film.

You and me both, Robotnik. I mean, about thinking this site didn't welcome advice. Even the "what to do, what to do" was without question mark -- and on purpose.

As someone who recently went through a not-devastating-but-still-hurts-really-bad break up and decided to go from red to blonde because of it, I can offer up Julie at the Charles Worthington salon in SoHo as a miracle worker. Not only did she do wonders for my hair (and post-break up self esteem), but she also worked double duty as a therapist - and gave me some great advice. Also - they give you a complimentary brownie. Which will certainly help with the carbohydrate therapy.

Best of luck, Fish.

Alex at Sacha & Olivier on 18th street is amazing. And he's veyr Parisian, which makes it all the more amusing!

Another vote for ebayin' it. That lousey prat doesn't deserve a pressie!!!

I love the movie "Down with love." Topping that off with chocolate... hmmm y u m m y.

oops sorry, I didn't know about the no advice thing. I am new to your blog.

It's all good. Used to it by now. :)

If it helps (and I'm sure it doesn't, but I'm somehow compelled to share), you're probably better off without the cop. I'm married to one and it's not an easy road, no matter how much you love them.

That being said, I'm sorry you're sad. :(

ANTHONY at Rosario Aquista on E66th St. They also serve amazing cappuccino.

"Down with Love" is perfect; carb therapy is exactly perfect; now we just have to wait and see about the colorist! Best of luck!

I am all about natural highlights/ hair color.
I like Olga at Face Station on Lex. in the sixties. Hope that helps. Have you seen "Love, Actually"?

I'll buy it from you. I don't know what it is, and I don't care. I love suprises!

It's a tough choice to be sure. Good luck with whatever you decide.

It is very draining trying on all the "not-right-fits" whether it ends on a good note or a bad one.

It is very draining trying on all the "not-right-fits" whether it ends on a good note or a bad one.

Fairly new, so you may have answered this...does this fellow know/read your blog? Not that that makes the decision any easier, just causes more internal dialogue, I suppose, if you know that he does......You will be fine either way...you seem to have a great internal compass....

no advice, just a vote... I second (third? fourth? whatever.) the ebay route. But do whatever you feel most comfortable with.

By the way, it was nice seeing you, however briefly, on Saturday. Sorry we didn't stay longer and get a chance to chat.

You are on the UES, right? I have gotten highlights from Natalie at the Aveda salon on 79th and 2nd...she's good and extra particular. There is also an Aveda salon on 86th but I've never been to it. I'm sure it's fine, but if you are looking for names, I recommend Natalie.

A question and a suggestion (but not advice, no, never advice!): Do you have a workout buddy like Trip (was it Trip) in Boston? Why not use that angry energy to get some good workouts in? They would be more fun with someone there, which is why I ask about a gym buddy. I would also suggest some hard dancing - at a club or just in your apartment, if you don't thump too hard for the neighbors. Daft Punk is good for home school aerobics.

Another non-advice-like self-therapy idea: rent a car for a day and drive around blasting gangster rap and Eminem and hanging out the windows making faces at people and giving them the finger.

I'm listening to "Forgot About Dre" and it came to me. Sounded simultaneously angry and amusing so I decided to share it.

Who says I have any angry energy?
Besides, I do yoga four times a week. That's enough for me.

My vote (suggestion etc...definitely, not advice...) is that you do something high energy cathartic with - break it, smash it... I dunno something creative...

or sell it on e-bay... Money is always good and the above comments are right... people will buy anything on e-bay

Anyway my 2 cents...

V

One more recommendation for a colorist: Milla at Bon Bon, 37th and 3rd. She does great work.

Also, to follow up from yesterday, on the stages of grieving. These are from "On Death and Dying" by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, and are supposed to be the stages of grieving one's own death when terminally ill. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally, acceptance. Do the same stages apply to the end of a relationship? Certainly seems that way. I have no advice, but wish you all the best in coping with them.

In defense of the the guy who used the "a" word in his comment:
I know the horrible wrath that falls upon anyone who attempts to advise or persuade on this site. I in no way wish to offend one of my favorite bloggists whom I in no way know.Tongue was firmly implanted in cheek on that last entry. And honestly, why does anyone else care what you do with the "gift?"
Of course whatever you choose to do you must write about in eloquent prose and with meaning. (a joke. ha. ha.)

Michael R. If I did that, I'd get a cap lodged in my ass...or some other body part.

so-not-advice. Margarita Therapy.

Hey Fish, sorry to hear about your breakup... but on the gift sitch, I was in a similar situation a year ago. Bought a housewarming gift for a beau; he broke up with me before I could give it to him. I agonized about what to do with it--I bought it on eBay, so I couldn't return it... it was too nice to smash into a million pieces... and giving it to someone else just felt wrong. I eventually just mailed the damn thing to him.

It made me feel better to get it off my hands and into the hands it was intended for.

Sorry for the advice Fish. I've doled it out like crazy and failed to adhere to the Advice Free Zone.

My bad.

Still wishing you the best though. AND a headful of sassy new hair.

for whatever it's worth, you deserve major hair pampering, the works. think about the gift later. just think of you first.

Have you gotten sufficently drunk in the wake of all this?

I heard that Billy at Salon Stella is phenomenal. he actually works in Miami but flies up to New York for appointments on occasion.

I'm not sure where in manhattan the salon is -- however, it's right on south beach ;)

That being said -- i also hear that it might cost you your monthly paycheck.

can you try throwing it up on ebay and see if you attract someone with the same personal info that might like the gift?

Unless you are still friends, at some level, with the man, I wouldn't send it. If it's something that someone else might appreciate, why not treat a true friend? Or donate it to charity. Yes, that might be the best thing. It's true he did nothing wrong, but you're under no moral obligation either.

You're clearly quite capable of making your own decision about this gift, and, if I read correctly, you HAVE made your own decision about this gift. What better 'closure' to this fun - if not too short - relationship than to give him the gift that was intended for him in the first place?

Good luck with your journey back to self-contained and comfortable.

Wow, you sure get a lot of advice, for an advice-free zone. Even the "this is not advice, but I'll tell you what I think you should do anyway" kind.

Oo! Oo! I've got another idea!

Just kidding.

The anger was from the last entry. SO last week. My bad.

When I'm angry, I want to move a lot; frenetic type stuff. I don't think of yoga as being like that.

But like I said: ignore my other two comments.

Gah, that would bum me out having that at my desk. But I get disappointed when I can't right away give people presents I've bought for them. I'm not sure what I would do. But you always have a mature way of handling things.

I'm glad I read these comments because now I really want to go to that free-brownie hairdresser and check it out! =)

Well...For what it's worth, I'd grab my gun, head out to the country and use it for target practice. Even if it is expensive, even if he didn't do anything wrong, I figure I can always use some good old fashioned therapy and shooting something that reminds you of him? Well that there is some damn good therapy! :)

Fox News Network now projects the winner of the Appropriate caucus is eBay with 89% of the precincts reporting.

I'm sure this is either

a) assenine
or
b) impractical

I don't know what the hell the shit is, but why not send it to either the family of or a currently serving military guy...

Is it a DVD? A pack of breakfast bars?

OK, I'm being an ass..I'm SURE there are plenty of people that would enjoy whatever it is and more-so, you would enjoy giving it to someone other than Cop-Rock guy.

Hi! I came here via Brandon at One Child Left Behind. Wanted to give you a great colorist recommendation:

Andrea at Yann Varin, 142 E. 73 (off Lex). Tell her Marian sent you. She's listed here: http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/11351381/?cslink=cs_boc_ew_3_4