This Fish Needs A Bicycle

a helluva lot of answers

Whew! Finally!
Note: If I didn't answer your quesiton, I either got too tired, it was too much like a previous question, or I just didn't want to.

Q&A

C. says she wouldn't [go naked] at a nude beach. Would you? – Linus
I would, and I have. Thrice.
What was the last movie that made you cry? What was the last movie that made you cry and earned the tears, if different? – Also Linus
Indochine made me cry. But I don’t think it should have – I was just feeling emotional and all the regret and loss just got to me. The last movie that really earned my tears was Steel Magnolias. I watch that at least once a month and bawl and bawl and bawl. God, I love me a good cry.

Who are your all time favorite Good Mood bands/artists? (aka what do you listen to when you want to go from mope-y to dance-y?) – Kate
The Bangles. Specifically, In Your Room. I put that on for lots of bummer moments. It even makes doing the dishes tolerable.

Do you have any regrets about sharing your personal life on the Internet? – Lea
Yes, to some extent. But for every misgiving I have about doing it, there’s an email saying “I understand” or “thanks, I went through the same thing.” That’s satisfying, in a way. Sharing is caring, man.

What does it feel like when you write? Is it an oasis? Second nature? Something you feel you "should" do? and ...I want to know, if you really have to think about your posts when you write. Does it just come naturally, in a 20 minute sit down and a click of the publish button? Or does it entail more of a process? - Jasika
I don’t really allow myself more than a half hour to do a post. There have been very few exceptions. Sometimes, when I sit down to write, and it feels difficult, I know it’s not meant to be written then and I hit the little x and say do not save. The posts that I have slaved over have been agonizing to read later. Most times, I’ll have a thought on the subway or in the shower and then put it down later. I’m no good with process. I lack discipline. Ask my mother about piano lessons.

You're being sent to a deserted island. You can bring 10 cd's. What will they be? – The Duck
Aretha Franklin’s 30 Greatest Hits (that’s a 2CD set). The Essential Bangles. Shakira – Donde Estan Los Ladrones. Garth Brooks – In Pieces. Madonna – The Immaculate Collection. Indigo Girls’ 1200 Curfew (another 2 CD set). Dashboard Confessional – Swiss Army Romance. The Carpenters’ Love Songs. The Best of Peter Paul and Mary. I do believe that’s 10.

If you didn't have to work in order to eat and survive, what would you do on a daily basis to keep yourself busy, content, and fulfilled? – Raz Dreams
I’d get a big old house with a big old kitchen and a room upstairs that gets great light and cross-breezes. I’d cook, paint, read, write, have a baby and maybe even a dog. Oh, and I’d learn to play the violin. Also, can all of my friends be unemployed and self-sustained, too? As much as I love my alone time, and I’d love to write, paint, read and sit very, very still and listen to nothing but wind or crickets, that would get old without company.

What are your feelings on J. at this moment of your life? – J2
I never met an ex I didn’t like. No, seriously, J is still one of my favorite people in the history of… ever. When the Bed Goons fucked up my new bed, the first person I called was J. And had he been less than four hours away, he’d have come over straight over to fix it. No one gets me as well as he does, nor knows when to treat me with kid gloves or tell me to buck up.
Have you ever been a waitress? – also J2
No! Anyone who knows me in real life would tell you that I’d be terrible at it. I simply haven’t the patience or the ability to be nice to folks who annoy me.

Who is the one person (living/dead, famous/infamous, real/not real) that you would like to spend 1 hour with and why. - Mitch
Maybe me. Later on in life. I guess I wanna know just how bad I fucked up, and how much I got right. And El Guapo.

Do you think it is odd that many feminists (ahem) are now taking up domestic hobbies, like knitting? Would you ever consider learning how to bake bread or sew your own clothes? – African Kelli
Oh god. Don’t make me answer for the feminists. But here’s how I see it. If feminism is about being independent… what’s more independent than being self-reliant and making your own clothes? And, I was a Girl Scout. I can bake bread, sew, and quilt. Hell, I can even start a fire with a bow. But that’s another story for another time.

Do you have any advice for people new to blogging? Especially regarding annonymity? Is it harder now that people know you know in the real world are reading your blog? - Finy
There’s no way to maintain anonymity. Talking with Paul the other night, we were grousing about some of the negative things that have come with this year’s publicity. He pointed out that the greatest irony was that I fought (and I mean, went to some pretty great lengths) to stay hidden. It simply didn’t work. And yes, yes it is. But I just skip the really personal stuff these days. Compromise. Truth be told, the reason I tell so many stories now is there’s too much personal stuff going on that I choose not to write about.

Marriage. An expensive party to end a good relationship, or a delicious dream? - Lisa
Marriage scares the shit out of me. It used to be such a dreamy little notion, but my parents had a train-wreck of a union, and frankly, I can’t imagine I’d pull it off any better. I’m certainly not so cynical as to say it’s the end of a relationship, though. Krissa & Stuart, while admittedly their marriage is so very young, are such a gorgeous example of how scary it doesn’t have to be. I love that they fight and bicker, totally secure in the knowledge that the other person loves them to itty bitty pieces and will stick around long after even the most brutal bout. But man, they sure are sappy as hell sometimes.

If you were a Supreme Court Justice for a day, what's the first thing you'd change/fix? – Ms Oktober
I wouldn’t make any more damn laws, that’s for sure. Too many already.

When are you coming to Texas? - Jazzy
Uh, probably never? I don’t have any reason to, really. That places makes me feel 15, overweight, and like I need to spend some serious time in a tanning bed.

Who is your Daddy, and what does he do? - Arnold
Funny. But if you really want to know… my daddy is a retired forest fire fighter and currently, he watches a nest of baby Bald Eaglets.

An urgent question - how do you get over crushes? - MC
Xanax.

Are you a jealous person? – Kristine
No. I’m an insecure person. It’s different.

After t-shirts, what's the next step in your plan for world domination? – Jack
Can I interest you in a bumper sticker? Heh.

Are you as quick witted and eloquent in everyday conversation, or do you prefer expressing yourself in writing? – PLD
Hmm. I dunno about eloquent. But most people who know me will tell you I write exactly the same way I talk. I’m a bit more sarcastic in person, maybe even caustic, but that’s just a defense mechanism. God, look at me, I’m naked.

What are your most played songs on your ipod (sorry if you still haven't gotten new ear buds!)? – McAuliflower
See the question regarding the deserted island.

Do you have one of those "the one who got away" boys? How often do you still think about him?
Nope, can’t say that I do. Everything wears off eventually, even monster crushes.
Felicity: Ben or Noel.
Noel. Oh, Noel, I love you. I can even overlook that whole Jennifer Garner thing.
What’s the most embarrassing thing you spend money on? Patricia Danielle
Cat litter. I hate buying it at the store. Mostly because I can’t stand the idea of being any sort of stereotype, especially the single girl with cat stereotype.

Who took the picture on the sidebar, of the fish? - Anon
Anna Harriman.

Why won't you play "iPod shuffle?" – Plantation
Have you ever seen me post a meme? I didn’t think so. Nevermind that I will be doing one for Ari. But that's different. She shares her ice cream.

In a parallel universe where would you find yourself? - Leah
Aruba.

Plain or peanut? – Steph
Peanut!

What is the biggest/worst lie that you've told? Were you caught in it? Do you regret telling it? - Things Said
I was 12 or so, and I told my mom I hated her. Of course I didn’t hate her. And sure, every kid says that at some point, or something just as heinous. But that’s the kind of lie that hurts a mom for a long time.

Sweet or unsweet? – Justin
Duh.

Is there a blog out there that you HAVE to obsessively read on a daily basis, lest you die??? – The Merry Widow
Dooce.com

Did J ever see this website? - Elise
Yes. One night not too long ago, J called asking for help making a personal website. He’d read my article in the Times, but never took the bait and went looking for my blog. I offered it up and asked him, if it was all the same, could he just not indulge in reading my archives.

“Did you write about me?”
“Yep.”
“You know what? I won’t read anything if it makes you feel more free to write what you really want.”

And that was that. He did read this entry, however, and his response was, “I love your big nose.” You really gotta love that guy.

If your fish could ride a bicycle, what type of bicycle would it be? Do you ever get homesick? – Meg
I don’t even know anymore. I thought I had a good idea, but I was wrong. And no, I never do.

Would you, could you, eat green eggs and ham? - The cat
If Biscuit cooked them, yes.

Would you ever diss anyone on the internet...or did you mama teach you better than that?
Aside from dissing my mother, which was more a product of some unaddressed angst, no, I don’t think I’ve ever trash-talked anyone directly. Except for hipsters.

Prim and proper Sandy like at the beginning, or biker chic like at the end? – Gopi
Prim and proper. Love me some sweater sets and a poodle skirt.

What is your favorite novel? – Kenton
I can’t really pick one. But I read A Tale of Two Cities and Like Water for Chocolate once a year.

What do you think about the other 3 blogs mentioned in the NY Daily News article; Jason Mulgrew, Michael Malice & Stephanie Klein? – El Presidente
The blogs, or the bloggers who blog them? Malice is evil and there’s probably no one I’d rather have pointless arguments with. Stephanie is one of the most sincere and genuine people I know (to know her is to love her, I don’t care what you think of chicklit blogging). As for Jason Mulgrew, can’t say I have any idea!

I gotta ask the one I really actually want to know...Are you still in love with Ben? – Whirlygurly
Dude, I answered that question to your face and you didn’t like what you heard. No, I’m not. Being in love with Ben was Dramapalouza ’04. These days, we’re ice cream and cookies kind of love. Not afternoon nookie kinda love. And that’s the way I like it, ‘cause we’re really good at it.

How did you figure out what you wanted to be when you grew up? What type of work do you do and do you like it? - Vicki
I don’t talk about work here, because I still want to have one in the morning. But no, I actually don’t like it.

I would like to know how tall you are. :) – Red
Just shy of 5’7”.

I'd like to know how your recent set of medical tests turned out. I've read and read and read your site every day hoping you'd tell us all was well and you are well and things are well, well, well. – Less of the Furry
We’ll talk about this in June, okay? I do appreciate the concern.

Posted by This Fish at April 22, 2005 10:28 PM