I had a very busy, very intense weekend. I went to Boston for J's 30th birthday. Gone less than twenty hours, I left Penn Station yesterday evening, stopping by Benjamin’s for dinner and some downtime. When this morning, I had still yet to blog, I sent him an “I’m too busy, will you do it for me?” email. I was kidding. But he took me at my word. And what he sent back was not only pretty damn accurate, but proof that even when I’m rambly, he’s listening.
My version will come a bit later when things calm down. But for now, Benjamin's interpretation. Enjoy!
You Can Go Home Again, Or, What I Learned On Amtrak
J always liked women with blonde hair. Big, fluffy, 80s blonde hair. So I did what I could. I got it highlighted. And it stayed that way some three years after we broke up.
Something changed in the salon Saturday morning.
"Can you remove the highlights?" I asked.
"Oh, I'm so glad you said so," Rene, my colorist, said in a thick French accent. "How attached are you to the ends?"
Five inches and $375 later, I'm on Amtrak Northeast Regional #74 heading to Boston. My hair is brown. And I am smiling. Out the window, the Connecticut shoreline is whizzing past. In the seat in front of me, two little Australian boys are asking about New York. "We didn't see any firemen, mummy. Why weren’t there any firemen?"
J picks me up at South Station. He puzzles a moment. "Something's different," he says.
"Everything," I answer.
Later that night, celebrating J's 30th in a stretch Hummer, J's girlfriend, Trish, turns to me and says, "Jonathan's so glad you came. And so am I."
J corners me in a bar later. He's a little drunk.
"I love Trish," he says. "But no one will ever get me like you did."
I am astonished as he recounts moments I thought lost forever. At least to him.
I stay sober. The driver doesn't know Southie, and I want to get us home. Trishe's 6' 7" brother in law hoists a bottle of Jaeger Meister, pouring it down his throat. I ask, "Can I hold that a minute?" When he realizes he isn't getting it back, he slurs, "I think Heather is cheating on me."
Riding the rails southward Sunday afternoon, I text Ben. "Dinner plans?" He quickly responds. "In Banana. Buying slacks. 6:30."
I buzz his apartment at exactly 6:30. He buzzes me in, and I climb the agonizing five flights. The door is open for me. Inside, Ben is reclining, Corona in hand, in front of the AC. He stands slowly, bone tired from his triathlon, and gives me a hug.
"Something's different," he says.
"Everything," I answer.
love this post. i know even if you would've written, i'd still love it, but there's something those around us can capture that sometimes we can't.
thanks you two, for a great first read this morning.
Posted by: angie at July 11, 2005 11:49 AMi'd like me some fish...with a little wag on the side. you two are too cute. funny how, sometimes, some things never change.
Posted by: RazDreams at July 11, 2005 11:54 AMWhere's the photo of the new brown locks?
It's pretty amazing how well he nailed it.
Posted by: Michael at July 11, 2005 12:09 PMOooooh! I love it. "Something's different," he says. "Everything," I answer." Its just about the most empowering thing I have heard in a long time. Good for you!
Posted by: Carrie at July 11, 2005 12:57 PMWell done, Ben. But, "Slacks"?!? What are you 75? :)
Posted by: john at July 11, 2005 01:19 PMWow. Thanks to both of you for sharing.
Posted by: Angie at July 11, 2005 01:31 PMamazing how changing something so minor can make such a major impact on your outlook. thanks for the tag-team.
Posted by: rg at July 11, 2005 01:39 PMGreat post, as usual.
I recently dyed my hair brown (from blonde).
VERY liberating.
I'd love to see some before and after photos.
Posted by: Torrie at July 11, 2005 02:12 PMWhen are you two getting married?
For reals. I've been reading for two years, and I hated J. Totally questioned your taste in men all this time, too.
But I want to know when are you and Benjamin are going to get it together. Blogger flirting is one thing, but I'm sure I'm not the only one who notices there's waaaaay more to it than that. Do you really think you're fooling us?
So I'm nosy. Ban me.
Posted by: Long Time Reader at July 11, 2005 02:31 PMcan I be on the soundtrack to your movie?
Posted by: wes at July 11, 2005 02:40 PMexes are bad news, no matter who they are. turn over a new leaf and leave them behind.
Posted by: megan at July 11, 2005 02:56 PMi bet you are stunning with your new locks! i, too, would like to see some before and after pics - endulge us! :)
Posted by: red at July 11, 2005 03:10 PMSchool. Of. Wagner. Fish.
Posted by: tanya at July 11, 2005 04:42 PMSo you two are not dating why?
Posted by: kassi at July 11, 2005 06:07 PMWow. He even "sounds" like you. Ben's a pretty good writer... and friend.
Posted by: Polichick at July 11, 2005 06:08 PMi've only been a regular reader for a few weeks and even *i* can tell you and benjamin are a lot closer than you'll admit! *smile*
i miss that feeling...
I think Ben's nailed the style and tone but it's missing some depth. I think with a little bit of practice he could take over your blog full-time and "This Fish" would just be a figment of the imagination.
Of course, that wouldn't be as fun.
Posted by: Jack at July 11, 2005 08:46 PMi also want to see the new do.
Posted by: S at July 11, 2005 10:34 PMBen nailed your habit of putting those coupla words in their own paragraph.
As if layered with meaning.
Posted by: Maggie at July 11, 2005 11:53 PMI read this last night, and have found myself thinking about Trish in this story - speaking as a girl who has been "the Trish" in these scenarios before (boyfriends who talked about their exes a lot, boyfriends who would invite their exes along on our plans, boyfriends who would corner their exes and tell them how special they were...), I just wonder about her... particularly the "J is so glad you're here, so am I" strikes me as a girl's way of trying to be a cool girlfriend/good sport in this situation...
is she okay, or is J behaving foolishly with yet *another* girlfriend?
Tricia is great. GREAT. She was the one who invited me. J and she have no secrets and she knows who I am and what happened between us. She is, hands down, the best thing that has ever happened to him.
Posted by: Fish at July 12, 2005 11:56 AMIt looks like Benjamin's the one who really gets you.
If anything, he sure LISTENS when you tell him things.
Lucky. Those guys don't live in Nashville and if they do, I sure as hell am not engaged to any of them.
Posted by: Muffy Wong at July 12, 2005 01:57 PM