This Fish Needs A Bicycle

Do you really write these things at 5.38am?

.. And how do you slide your spoon in backwards when you eat soup? :)

The reference to the Britney Spears song was an unexpected twist in your tale. I was humming along to the 'Urge Overkill' version, picturing you as Uma Thurman in 'Pulp Fiction' but with a pink skirt like the one I bought when I was in New York last year... and then you had to throw in Britney. Totally killed the moment.

Other than that, this was a great post, I really enjoyed reading it. Now if I can just get Britney out of my head...

i think that a bit of girl will always linger inside of us, regardless of how much growing up we are forced to do.

twirl on.

Over the past few weeks, I've read all of your archived posts and have been checking back regularly. This latest one is among my faves. You have a real talent for capturing/conveying stuff that many of us think about in a way that is really engaging and that allows your reader to see herself too, even when you write more specifically about your own experiences.

I don't know if you have been writing a novel or not, but I often wonder whether you would create something that falls into the chick-lit category or something more literary- I think you have the capacity to do either, and I would read it no matter what genre it would be categorized as.

In terms of the Britney Spears reference, I am not a fan of Brit's, but I appreciated the reference as another example of your honesty in writing, even if you were only half serious. One can be intellectual, intelligent, introspective, evolved and still dapple in and sometimes even relate to the fluff that others are dismissive of. No fear of judgement... a great quality of This Fish.

You can always work to keep the girl inside. That's probably the fun part! I know I will. :)

I've been feeling much the same lately. You just captured all my mixed emotions about graduating from girlhood and becoming a woman. On certain days, that's all I want. But then there's those moments when I can think of nothing else but cuddling up in my childhood bed, with my mom sitting on the side rubbing my back, telling me everything will be okay.

Thanks for sharing this...really hit home.

Oh, damn...I must be hormonal because that post made me want to cry. I'll admit: I sniffled...good thing I just bought a sh'load of Kleenex brand tissues at CostCo.

Very good post, and if you feel like reading a couple of my most recent posts, you'll see that even this 43-year-old is very much a girl too much of the time. I think maybe a real woman has to be a girl some of the time...:)

I agree completely with PlumLeigh. Yesterday was my (honest) 39th birthday.

Girl: Every one (literally) of my friends were out of town, I have no family where I live, why don't they have a recorded phone service for people like me to call and hear a whole crowd of people singing Happy Birthday?

Woman: Thank God, a day all to myself, the answering machine is on and the ringer's off. I'm locking the door and sleeping in.

Bravo to you. And please, make an announcement when the book comes out, won't you?

Beautiful post, Fish. Structurally tight, in addition to being lyrical. Bravo! You are a joy to read, as always.

WOW!!! I am honestly in tears right now. That was beautiful, and I know exactly from where you're coming. I like to think that I'll manage to be both right up until I take my last breath. Entries like this make me glad that I stumbled upon your little part of the internet, and very thankful that you're kind enough to impart such wonderful works upon the rest of us poor souls.

Sometimes my girl/woman tendencies make me feel like Sybil, honestly. But it's so hard to be just one... the world would not be as beautiful if we couldn't look at it through a girl's eyes. I say keep her. Even if it means confusing others and backing yourself into a downward spiral of reflection on occasion.

The duality of this lifestyle is very marketable. Is she a girl or is she a woman? It keeps the world wondering. And Britney Spears' career platinum.

I've bookmarked your page. :)

Thank you so much for bringing this up. I have been approached with the question and I never have found a good way to answer. Of course, you found a good way to answer.

today I was both. after spending all day with my mom at the museum, then dinner with most of my family feeling very secure and girlish, I hurried by the office to catch up on some work. I felt a little sad that my girlish bubble of a day had to burst so I could attend to my grown-up responsibilities. great post. thanks.

Very aptly and eloquently put.

When I think about where I stand on this whole girl/woman thing, I just keep coming back to Julia Robert's words:

"I'm too tall to be a girl, I never had enough dresses to be a lady, I wouldn't call myself a woman. I'd say I'm somewhere between a chick and a broad."

:)

Do I have to choose? I sort of like being both (unless this means I will get compared to Brintey in which case i will make up my mind right now)

I loved this post.
I have 3 children. One day, my youngest asked if I was grown up yet. As I was pondering the answer to his question, my middle son answered for me. He said " She is grown up when we need her to be , and a kid when we want to have fun and for her to play with us. But she is a grown up when we are scared and stuff". His answer made me cry. I love my boys. :)
I am so glad I found a link to your blog. It has fast became one of my favorites.

I had the Britney song in mind throughout the post.

Great one, by the way. :)

Somewhere my comment got lost....

I believe the true woman nevers leaves the girl in her behind--another reason I truly admire my mother. So remember that at 80 or even at 100, you will always be mostly woman, part girl. And every bit as lovely through and through.

Hi love the last post. Question did you say when you got back that you had a change or surprize? Did i miss it? sometimes i am a little slow lol

I'm glad you wrote about this. I think it is lovely to embrace both feminine qualities. I love the playfulness and innocence of being a girl and the sensual, strong, determination of being a woman. I embrace the dichotomy in my man as well. If he was boyish all the time I would find him immature and if he was "manly" all of the time I would find him stiff or dull. Nice post!

One of the things I am most happy about is that I have been able to become a man without losing the boy. For all those women who want a man without some boy in him is truly missing out. The boy loves to play in the snow, I like gadgets, and watching big construction vehicles, and still play with my legos when I get the chance. I keep a bottle of bubbles on my desk for those moments when I need to escape into the simple pleasure. Please, please, please be both. Children are precious, inquisitive, innocent. And I think that we all could benefit from retaining those qualities.

You've been tagged. Hit me baby, one more time.

Your post reminded me of Julia Roberts quote that I read many, many years ago and have always remembered.

"I'm too tall to be a girl, I never had enough dresses to be a lady, I wouldn't call myself a woman. I'd say I'm somewhere between a chick and a broad."

I've always agreed...and identified.

See, here's the thing. The other day my friend asked me the same question, "Are you a girl or a woman?" I was like, "Dude. I'm a dude." I mean, what the hell?

That's beside the point.

Here's the actual thing: You write well. You hear that all the time, I'm sure, so I'm never going to tell you that again. Instead, I'll talk about something else.

Here's the other thing: Hello. Nice to meet you.

I guess I'm showing my age here. I was thinking the Neil Diamond version all the way. By the way, did you know his real name is Noah Kaminski?

Maybe I'm weird, or maybe I'm not old enough to ponder the girl/woman thing. But I've never really wondered if my actions reflected the girl/woman in me. For all my life, I've always been me. The confusion of growing up and being young at the same time never really struck me, and I've never wondered whether or not I'm acting my age.

Though, when I do hit that time in my life when I start to ponder about womanhood and girlhood (is that even a word?), I'll remember that being both is a good option too :)

Exactly how I've been feeling lately...

This may be one of my favorite essays of all time.

We are all inherently contradictory, but as you've noted, girl need not be the opposite of woman. Everyone needs a little "pink."

Beautiful writing. Moving.

I hope all is safe at your place after the broken skylight.