The truth: Sat on couch with roommate pouting, watching gawky-teenager-turned-princess-of-false-European-Nation flick. In bed shortly after 11.

Story that J will never hear: Oh, you didn’t call? I didn’t think you would and I was looking WAY too good to sit home and wait for a call that wouldn’t come. So, put on dancing shoes and headed out with gal pals to uppity downtown spot. Usually do hate those ex Harvard Business School sycophants, but so long as said men just sit there and look pretty (as well as dance), then are not so bad. Hmmm…could swear was wearing earrings at some point last night… Anyway, had the best time. Probably should not have had so much to drink, because don’t remember getting there, but somehow ended up at amazing south end loft. Personally, have not seen a hot tub that big since spring break in Fort Lauderdale. But boy, was certainly no problem filling it last night. Must have gotten over-heated, because next thing that can remember is waking up on v. soft, black leather couch wearing man robe and one spikey-heeled shoe, thinking, “Where is my roommate?” Don’t worry — found clothes v. easily and was taken home by nice smelling financial genius in BMW before the cocaine really got out of hand. V. thoughtful of him, right? Glad he handed over his card, too… will be v. helpful when comes to doing taxes.

Six hours and fourteen minutes.

Bastard.

One hour and forty-eight minutes ago, rang J who was “not sure about tonight” and would ring me back as soon as had settled on some plans. Yours truly had suggested going to see mutually agreed upon movie if no bigger plans were in the works. J said he’d call when he knew. Now am wondering, if do exist some bigger plans, am I to be included? Ah, the mysteries of life. Have watched just one too many episodes of Sex in the City to let such things go by without over-examining and making complete neurotic mess of self.

Does one bother to get all dolled up when phone call might be along lines of, “Yeah, so, I’m hanging out with the boys tonight.” Translation? “You’re not invited because we are going to go get smashed at a swanky bar and hit on girls with fake breasts.” Fair enough.

Yet, have already blow-dryed hair and sought out appropriate outfits. Plural. One movie-acceptable and one competing-with-fake-breasts-acceptable. Am now reaching for velcro rollers.
One hour and fifty-four minutes.
Call me.

Am sick *cough, cough*

Am also, unfortunately, out of sick days at wonderful place of employment. Suppose should be learning lesson that one must not use sick days for such activities as travel, errands and staying-at-home-in-bed-reading-Cosmo. But, would have to take time off for learning such lessons, and well, as have just said, that is an impossibility.

As was late, due to inability to pry self from warm bed, missed normal bus and ended up on same one as Beautiful Bus Boy. Oh dear god. Yours truly was sans makeup, puffy-eyed and wet-haired. BBB was as ridiculously good-looking as had remembered.

Why didn’t you call him?
Not now. Please don’t make me kick myself before 9 AM. I don’t have the energy.
You want me to wait a half hour? I can come back?
Nah. Why postpone the inevitable?
So, let me get this straight. This gorgeous boy in front of you — don’t make eye contact! you look hideous–
Thank you.
No prob. He asks if he can call you. You say no. He gives you his number and you do what with it?
Nothing.
Right. And why?
I don’t know.
I do.
Enlighten me.
J.
Well, shock me, shock me, shock me. For an Inner Goddess, you’re really not all that insightful.
Some thanks.
Thank you, Captain Obvious. You saved the day… again.
Get off.
What? Is that like ‘fuck off’, only in Inner Goddess talk?
No. This is your stop, dummy. Get off the bus.
Oh.

Nancy Reagan would not be proud of lack of Say No To Drugs willpower on night of seasonal extravaganza, though am thinking that should have paid more attention to her, as result of said lack of abstinence resulted in chemical mishap and v. long, sleepless night.

J Bought little white pills under information that they were of the mood-elevating sort. But were not. Were instead, of the methamphetamine family. For a gal who does not drink coffee as it causes the jitters, was a somewhat irritating experience. Of course, had marvelous time dancing to endless techno at crowded downtown club, but when dancing was done, could not quite convince body that was time to sleep. In fact, have still not slept more than 2 hours since Tuesday.

At least got decent midnight-hour J kiss. Night was as predicted, nookie-free. But did get some quality spooning time.

On pain of sounding tragically sentimental, am huge fan of watching J sleep. And since night was completely sleep-free for this gal, had plenty of time to do so. Would, however, have to be discreet and close eyes v. quickly as J would wake from time to time and check to see if yours truly was okay (body cramping, chills and night sweats being part of chemical mishap fun). Am certain J would develop some sort of phobic reaction if thought that yours truly had developed any overly goofy behavior of the above sort. But cannot help it. Have always thought him to be quite gorgeous.