Like the technologically savvy communicator that I am, I use my Facebook status updates to announce very important details about my personal life. Behold, updates from the last week:
Heather is… celebrating her nuptials to a pulled pork sammich.
Heather…just gold medaled in napping.
Heather is… unreasonably happy that the Notebook kids are back together.
Well, fine, maybe they’re not important… but what my status updates lack in meaning, they make up for in sincerity. Once, I suggested I might initiate a cage match with my officemate. I meant that every bit as much as I did the degree to which I admired my new Hannah Montana lip gloss ring (Oh yes, they do exist. Four for a dollar at Target). I do love tater tots more than I do most people I meet. And as far as the Notebook kids go, this may be the most sincere statement I have ever made publicly. I am unreasonably happy. I will never understand why Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams pretended to break up for the last year or so in the first place because it’s obvious they are meant. to. be. and should not eff with fate like that, and seeing pictures of them reunited and snuggly made my heart swell with the kind of love that only a strange fascination with the romantic lives of complete strangers can achieve. Wuv, twu wuv.
(I told my sister it gave me elephantitis of the heart, but after a quick wikipedia lesson, I realized how truly horrifying that was and decided to go with a less graphic description. You’re welcome.)
In truth, I never realized the impact that these silly status updates could have on the internet world at large. I certainly never guessed that they would become a reason for an… intervention. But today when I logged on – initially to make a statement about the life changing experience of eating Reese’s Pieces for breakfast – I found I had a new message.
“what makes u so unhappy? I never see u say anything positive. Makes me sad for u.”
Unhappy? UNHAPPY?! I appreciate the pity and all, but come on. The Notebook kids are back together, I ate an infant’s weight delicious saucy pork, and I napped the shit out of my Saturday afternoon. I cannot imagine someone being in a state of better emotional health!
Clearly, I’m going to have to start embracing emoticons and multiple exclamation points before someone locks me in a room with hideous yellow wallpaper.
That’s alright, I had someone responding to any slightly unhappy statuses of mine a while back.. She turned out to be a little too interested in my status, my events, my photos, and everything else I did on FB given that we weren’t dating.. Not so much of a turn-on.
Unhappy? What?! That silly facebook member must be confused. By the way, I could totally rival you for that gold medal in napping!
All I have to say is “beware the messaging feature”! I got an e-mail notification this morning that my high school prom date (whom I haven’t seen in 10 years) tried to add me as a friend. I logged into facebook to check and the next thing I knew we were chatting. I got chat-mugged. I hadn’t even had coffee yet.
i love the status updates.
and! i had not yet heard of the notebook couple back in action. that made my day.
can we be facebook friends?
I really don’t think the problem is with you. De-friend that one immediately!
Jamie – you can just ignore the chat. I do that frequently! I get annoyed by people from high school and I am all like “lalala I don’t see that window!”
If you like updating your status, then you would like Twitter.com. Let me know if you decide to sign up! I would love to see your updates on there.
I hate to disappoint, but that is never going to happen.
I think that someone is projecting their unhappiness on you. You CLEARLY are happy… with your pulled pork and Notebook kids.
I took the Gold on Sunday! Ahhhhh…. Nice!
Don’t people get that sometimes the simple pleasures are the best!
My friends actually get nervous if I don’t update my status every day. True story, my best friend who I was out with last week noticed it had been over 23 hours since the last update and called to make sure I got home alright.
About the elephantitis of the heart? I read this thing on Best Week Ever when they were talking about the Opening Ceremonies & Yao Ming walked in with the Earthquake Survivor/Hero Kid & they used the phrase “heart boner.” Is that kind of what you mean?
Yes! That’s precisely it! A heart boner!
Whenever I post an update on Facebook that even REMOTELY implies all is not well I am immediately asked via email “what’s going on!?” , “did something happen!?” I mean honestly, if something truly tragic happened in my life do you really think I’d stop to update my Facebook about it?
Andrea, you sound depressed. Here, have some pork.
There truly is nothing better than a good pulled-pork sandwich and a marathon nap…. Glad you had a good weekend!
Aaaaaaah – Princess Bride!!! God how I love that film, if any man ever said ‘as you wish’ to me, i think i’d melt into a pool at their feet on the spot.
Oh, the yellow wallpaper is fine! Don’t worry about that! Ole Miss Gilman was just trying to educate her readers- think of it like 19th century HGTV.
FYI: I don’t know if any of you are aware but, one MUST be careful when participating on such sites as Facebook and MySpace, etc.
The reason I say this…1. any potential employer or landlord can look you up. Find you and perhaps find some “not so nice stuff” on the site and thus, you don’t get the position/home/apartment. And 2. a friend of mine was involved in a litigation matter (Federal Court). Without realizing it, defense counsel and their team went directly to the web, found her MySpace page and used it and it’s contents against her claim. It was crazy!
All I’m saying is be careful…..cause you NEVER KNOW who’s watching.
Personally I don’t believe in such sites and I am constantly “refusing” my friend’s invitations to join. My thinking… if you desire to communicate with me… pick up the phone and talk. You can send an email but I just can’t guarantee when I’ll get to it.
Just my two-cents….
“My name is Inigo Montoya. You have killed my father. Prepare to die.”
(If only I’d gotten to it before Bob…)
bwahahahahah! you’re talking to a girl who has her whole LIFE on a BLOG, easily searchable by her name.
I had someone say the same to me once and that I shouldn’t broadcast my relationship woes to the entire planet. I’m not sure where she got relationship woes out of Cirque du Soleil and ice cream references. CLEARLY she was projecting! I have since limited her. Sheesh.
Yeah, it just pains me when people don’t get my admittedly dark humour and mistake it for the blues or worse still (horrors!) self pity!
Here is a post I wrote to which I received this comment from a kind soul wanting to hold my hand and lend me a shoulder and I was all, it was a JOKE!
http://sforshenanigans.blogspot.com/2008/06/your-life-sucks-and-then-you-will-die.html
“Wuv, twu wuv”
You rock. I spent the better part of Sunday only “mostly dead.”
Not even multiple exclamation points are enough. I’m not convinced someone is truly happy until I see a “1” at the end of the exclamation point chain.
Off topic here, but are you going through Olympic withdrawals? I thought the best part Sunday night was catching the part where Jackie Chan had a singing solo with China’s most popular pop-star.
I agree with Bryna. It sounds like it was a bad case of projection on your friend’s part. How patronizing! I used to get those kind of comments (i.e. “makes me sad for u”) from a friend that I lived with and they would make me feel terrible. Sometimes I wondered if that was her objective. I want support and empathy from a friend, not pity.
If I had facebook, my current status would say something about how in love with you I am because you ref. The Yellow Wallpaper! So well-read!
…..what the hell is pulled pork? Can someone pls enlighten the confused Aussie
I second Bob’s sentiments…. if any man ever had the sense to utter the words “As you wish” to me, I’d melt on the spot and probably be theirs forevermore. best. film. ever.
…okay, I said probably.
You are TOO awesome. My mama and I reference “yellow wallpaper”– and no one ever knows what that means. Seeing it out and about on your blog is a little like listening to someone talk, and suddenly realizing that they’re speaking another language, and you understand it, without even trying. Yay!
Pulled pork? YUM! A Saturday afternoon spent napping? Fabulous! The Notebook cuties back together again? All is right with the world. AND references to The Princess Bride?!?! It just doesn’t get better than this!
INCONCEIVABLE!
I do not think that word means what you think it means.
P.S. I got the yellow wallpaper reference as well. Thanks for making me feel smart.
LOVE the Yellow Wallpaper reference.
Pulled pork is a roasted pork sandwich. The meat is either roasted on a grill or in the oven (or even in a slow cooker) to the point where it’s falling apart (pulled or shredded). It’s then doused in your choice of barbecue sauce — which type of sauce depends upon the region you’re eating the sandwich in — and eaten on a bun. Some people top it with cole slaw. It is pretty tasty.
I l-o-v-e that you referenced The Yellow Wallpaper. Touche!
My friends on Facebook use the status to literally update their status: “Matt is working,” “Susan is grocery shopping,” and so on. This is lame. Much better to say something that reflects your state of mind, I say. Celebrating lunch nuptials and being unreasonably happy about people you (probably) don’t know in person is awesome. And congratulations on that gold medal, by the way. If there was a competitive napping team in my area I would seriously be interested in joining.
Also, the yellow wallpaper reference just made you my hero. Hooray!
Ryan and Rachel are back together? How exciting!! I was v. sad when they broke up too.