So, does he like cars?
My boss and I were heading to one of those marketing events where we’d stand around for three hours, drink too much wine, and try very hard not to be perverse in front of potential clients. I was driving. Car time is downtime and downtime with my boss usually means being re-interviewed. This time about The Boy.
“Yes, yes he does. In particular, he likes – no, loves – his car.”
I talked horsepower and engine liters and other things I no clue about, save what The Dork Lord has told me. All I know is that 400 horsepower makes driving ridiculously fun and it guzzles a metric sh!t ton of gas. That’s all the information I need.
“Does he let you drive it?”
“Yep.”
“Then this must be the real thing.”
“I think you’re right.”
Aw, love. Granted, I’d never asked The Boy which he loved more – me or the car – because frankly, I was afraid he might hesitate before answering. But how could I feel anything but secure and happy knowing that my honey digs me enough to trust me with his most prized possession? I gave him a key to my apartment; he handed me the keys to his car. It was all very warm and fuzzy. Until Friday night. Because on Friday night, after the nicest of date nights, I scraped his beloved car while pulling it into the garage.
“Oh my god. Baby.”
Drunk though he was, he leaped from that passenger seat with the agility and speed of an Olympic ribbon dancer. Me, I sat gripping the steering wheel, white-faced with my stomach climbing steadily toward my throat. I found myself wishing I was anything but perfectly sober. Man, I have really got to learn to like whiskey.
“Baby. Baby. Baby. You have to be careful with this garage!”
Finally, I climbed out to see for myself. And at the sight of two-foot swirl of gnarly white paint on his otherwise pristine car, I did what came naturally. I burst into tears. He stared at me.
“Noooooo.”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“Nooooo. Do not cry. I’m sorry. You’re what’s important. Not this. This is just metal. Understand?”
Well, you know me. A little bit of sympathy and the waterworks go from drippy faucet to open fire hydrant. I cried harder. Of course, had I known then that there was not one tiny bit of damage to the car’s paint, that the next morning, a high end car wash complete with buff and wax would take away all my sins, I’d have marched right upstairs and enjoyed (with gusto) the spoils of our 2AM Jack in The Box visit. But as it was, that Oreo shake a total waste.
Wow. That sounds like a keeper.
You lucky girl. Can you find me one of those?
I work for a marketing company specializing in products geared toward the automotive aftermarket.
To take away the mark on The Dork Lord’s car – try ‘Rubbing Compound’ – the brand ‘No. 7′ is what I’m most familiar with. See: http://www.cyclo.com/no_7.asp and look for the ‘polishing compound’ and the ‘rubbing compound’.
I’ll be happy to send a free sample to you – it works MAGIC on garage scratches – believe me!
I’ve scraped my front right bumper more times than I can count pulling into the teeny tiny carport at my apartment complex – my car is pretty and red and sparkley, and the peach trim they insist on using on the carport walls does little to compliment it. But, with that Rubbing Compound & a little bit of my boyfriend’s elbow grease – (DON’T forget a quick rinse immediately afterward) – the bumper looks ‘good as new!’
Thanks for giving me a diversion from my crazy-making job! Do you have any plans for a book?
Good luck, and I’m so glad to hear you found a keeper!
Fish & Dork Lord sitting in a tree; k-i-s-s-i-n-g; first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes fish in a baby carriage!
Yeah, I’m mentally 12.
That is a fabulous little story, and I think everyone can relate to that faucet-plus-sympathy-equals-hydrant analogy! Sounds like you two are truly happy, and the car ended up OK to boot!
Hugs for The Boy- many a lesser man would have flipped.
Now that is true love.
I did the EXACT SAME THING TO MY CAR on Saturday. Well, the exact same thing minus the cute boy to hold me and say it was alright. I just threw my phone on the floor and began to sob… alone.
Dang it! I need a lobster.
This made me want to cry. But it made me giggle at the same time. I’m glad you found him.
So how long have you and The Boy beeng dating at this point? Inquiring minds want to know…
This made me want to cry. But it made me giggle at the same time. I’m glad you found him.
What an adorable story. What an adorable boy. SO HAPPY for you!!
P.S. Two months ago, I did the same thing with my new Lexus while pulling it out of the garage on the 2nd day after I brought it home…Except that it wasn’t a white paint scrape. I completely crushed my right mirror and had to immediately drive it to the nearest dealer to shell out $660 to get it replaced. All’s well that ends well, though.
SO GLAD things worked out for his car too!!
Ha! Crying always works for me! Delurking to say I once hit my boyfriend (now husband!) WITH the car, backed right into him. And while he was in pain, I was the one crying…so then he felt bad about me crying, and was all “its okay, I’m fine, don’t cry baby” – trying to make me feel better.
You poor thing!! I scraped our new car last year and had to call and tell my husband and I felt awful. And he was my husband! So I totally understand. I’m so glad it washed off!
One word: keeper. You are so, so lucky. My husband doesn’t like his car, can’t wait to upgrade it, and when someone else hit the car with their car door and scratched it, he blew his lid and it was totally my fault just because I obviously parked in a bad spot and should have “known better”. And he doesn’t even LIKE the car.
Seriously. Keeper.
Wow, what a sweet guy.
Perfect answer. 
Almost makes you grateful to the scrape, doesn’t it! Without It, you wouldn’t have known or at least known so quickly, where his real priorities lay!
Definitely a keeper.
A man who responds that way in that situation is SO a keeper. I don’t even know you and I could cry just out of happiness that you’ve found such a kind man. I sincerely wish you both the best. And never forget that he’s damn lucky too!
Aw, he sounds great! Congrats on finding a great guy…you’re gonna want to keep him around lol
Cars as a measure of a relationship- I like it!
When we were teenagers it was proof of our parents trust.
Coupled up, their disregard for value speaks volumes.
And when we’re old, hopefully our kids are around to give us a ride
Congrats, sounds like you found a good one!
I got a little misty just reading this…you have a good one there, Heather. Couldn’t be more pleased for you.
)
Heather, I’m so glad that you have found someone worthy of your fabulousness.
PS (Does he have any brothers??)
Yeah, yeah. This all sounds good, but you are missing a fewf vital points.
One, he’d been drinking and you two were coming home from a night out. If he shared his true feelings about what you had just done, there’s no way you’d end up naked.
Two, by not yelling at you he increased the likelihood that you’d do some of those things you might normally shy away from while naked.
Three, there’s no chance in hell you’re driving his ride ever again (unless you really performed on that second point).
Ah, wuv, twoo wuv! (Sorry, could not resist that reference.)
Many congratulations! That’s a good guy you’ve found for yourself. Love it when they know the perfect thing to say. : )
And to ‘Another Guy’ – Wow. You’re a bit of a jerk, huh?
Wow… I’m so happy for you.
Now THAT is a keeper. I know more than a few guys who could have ruined a week over a potential scrape. Clearly, I am not hanging out with the proper calibre of man. Congrats on snagging a good one.
Keeper. I once backed into an ex’s CAMARO (yeah) and he made me pay for the dent.
It’s not my fault he drove a shitty car that is so low to the ground that I couldn’t see it directly behind me.
Jerkstore.
OMG! He chose your feelings over this car?… now that is awesome!… oh, and as far as other guy is concerned… after drinking… more than likely he would have over-reacted in the worst way… if you didn’t mean more to him than the car… drunks and babies don’t lie… cause they aren’t really capable…
i’m so happy for you, this is too cute! seems like the real deal and from a girl who i’m pretty sure not that long ago was saying that you were ready to be alone forever. i guess there’s hope for those of us who are thinking that way now then
