Well, this was not a boat I intended on rocking.
And honestly, I don’t look forward to the conversation in which I tell the Dork Lord that I’ve been boat-rockin’ his favorite radio station (I think he gets a wee bit weary of my ‘the world should be a better place’ on an endless loop). After reading some of your comments, however, I decided that it might be more effective to take my complaint to the source (and perhaps change something) than let it loose in the ethers to bounce around aimlessly.
Here’s my email to the program director:
Good afternoon Jeff,
I’ve debated with myself about sending this – whether or not there’s a point; what kind of outcome it could have. But I think it’s important, if only to say that I spoke up.
Here is what I know:
Elizabeth Smart was kidnapped when she was 14 years old. Taken as a “wife” by an insane man, she was raped and abused in ways that most would consider torture. Nine months later, she was found. Elizabeth Smart grew up, went to college and became a victims’ advocate for child abductions.
Smart married over the weekend.
Yesterday morning, I was listening as someone on your show referred to the event as her “second marriage.”
I was stunned. One, at the reference to her teenage ordeal as a “marriage,” and two, that no one on the show stopped to say, “Hey, man, that’s not cool.”
The comment doesn’t just show a lack of taste, but a disturbing lack of humanity and compassion for the victim of a brutal crime. Look, I get that it’s a bit. My husband reminds me about that almost every morning when I wrinkle my nose at some eye-roll inducing comment by Gordo, et al. But this isn’t Kim Kardashian we’re having a big old laugh about. It’s a child rape victim. And whatever lines a person should or should not cross on the airwaves, I think mocking a child rape victim is one of them.
Morality is such a fuzzy thing, especially in the entertainment business. What’s right, what’s wrong, what makes a buck, what doesn’t. Believe me, I know. I think, though, that in this instance, it’s pretty clear that what was said wasn’t just wrong, it was gross.
Further, the segment went on to touch on “Lizzie Smart” and the emotional “baggage” she must have brought to that marriage. I will venture to guess that your hosts are unaware that statistically speaking, one in four women will have survived a rape or attempted rape by the time they are 14 years old. Your hosts are likely the husbands, brothers, uncles or fathers of a sexual assault victim. And yet.
Showing sensitivity to subjects like rape might not be entertaining, but it’s the right thing to do. It also makes marketing sense. Why?
Women are listening to your show. I’m listening to your show and I’m a pretty fair representation of the fastest growing demographic of sports fan. I’m a 30-something-year-old female sports fan, in charge of the household finances (and on top of it, a blogger with decent following). I’m one of three women in my department alone who stream the Ticket at work. Or women who did. After yesterday, I am not certain I will continue to listen. It seems like while sexism is simply an unfortunate part of the sports radio bit, yesterday crossed a line that made me realize I had a decision to make. Stand up or shut up.
I have chosen to stand up.
Thank you for your time, Jeff. I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Heather Hunter
Here is his response:
Thanks Heather- I saw your blog. I have not had a chance to go back and review the segment and the comments myself. I did not hear them live yesterday.
Before I respond to your email, or address this with the guys, I need to hear it.
I appreciate where you are coming from–
thanks for the note
Jeff Catlin
What’s next, I suppose, is that he listens to the show and decides for himself whether the comment merits any discussion. Look, I’m not asking for heads on platters; I just want some respect for those who deserve it and for someone to acknowledge that rape is not ‘bit’ material.
VERY well written. Thanks for standing up. So many of us (me) like to complain, but rarely do anything about it. I commend you for not only taking a stand, but for doing it so eloquently.
Well said. And thank you for saying it.
Thank you, Heather. As always you make your point with class. I’m proud of you for taking action.
You gave me goosebumps.
Thank you for being an advocate. This certainly isn’t a ‘bitches be humorless’ situation. Morality is, indeed, fuzzy–but in this instance, the situation is gross.
Thank you, Heather. What an eloquent, thoughtful response.
Thank you for standing up for the one in four. As one of the “ones” I applaud your conviction and thank you from the bottom of my heart for speaking up.
Thank you for writing that letter. I really hope it inspires some sort of change or, at minimum, an apology from the radio show. And if it doesn’t, I know there are many people who read your blog that who would love to take their own crack at writing a letter to this station. Maybe not as eloquently and heavier on the profanity, but still…
Very nice! Thank you for saying something
Well said Heather, and I couldn’t agree more. This is just one of those things that is far too “icky” to be made into a punchline. I hope your email brings a little more awareness and sensitivity on the subject.
I just want to say THANK YOU for this.
If every one who found this offensive said something instead of keeping quiet or laughing nervously – maybe people would realize that this (violence against women) is NOT something that is a joking matter. I do understand that making jokes is a way for some people to deal with their trauma – but I think we can all agree in this instance the trauma was the last thing on anyone’s mind.
Furthermore, joking about rape/violence only clears the way to make it “acceptable” to society.
So thank you so much Heather, for taking a stand and writing that letter.
This is why you are awesome. More people need to stand up for things when they are egregiously wrong. Thank you for doing so this time.
“Dear Jeff,
What if it were your daughter they were joking about?”
==============================================================
Well done, Heather. Keep up the good work.
“Evil Triumphs when good men do nothing.” Thanks for doing something. I hope Jeff understands this, too.
Thank you. I am proud of you for standing up and having a voice.
I don’t think men understand rape. At least not the ones I know. It just isn’t the reality for them that it is for us. My ex and I had many discussions about my constant precautions and awareness of my surrondings and he just didn’t get it.
Brava! Well done. A beautifully written letter that was strong and right on point. Here’s hoping it doesn’t fall on deaf ears.
Good for you, Heather! Thank you.
Thanks Heather.
Bravo.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for writing that letter. I really don’t understand since when has rape and other sexual assault (for either gender) become something to joke about. It’s just in bad taste (at best) and cruel. I’m so tired of the sexist junk, too. Yea, I consider myself as modern as any woman, but the sexist “jokes” are old.
I am glad that you decided to contact the show. Please let us know if you hear more.
If I got such a well thought out and well written email about something one of my jocks did, you’d get a head on a plate. Especially if what they did was so insensitive as what happened with the Elizabeth Smart story. I do applaud the program director for getting back to you so quickly and treating you with courtsey. I am interested in how this will pan out. Good job Heather!
Please keep me posted on what he says (if anything). I hate The Ticket. HATE. Honestly, I dislike most sports radio nowadays which is why I can’t wait until we start doing podcasts. Actually, if you are at all interested in doing a guest post about this sort of thing on the site, let me know!
Well done Heather. After reading this last night I too sent an e-mail, to both the program director and general manager. I could not be silent. I am not looking for a response to what I said, only hope it promotes discussion and education.
Even if no actions are taken on their end to rectify this lack of respect and compassion, you did the right thing sending in a complaint. I’m so glad you did.
Thank you for writing that letter and being so clear in laying it out.
Perhaps those announcers/hosts should maybe meet a 14 year old girl and explain how it’s funny…..or maybe their workplace training videos should include a screening of “American Me” so that they don’t feel so removed from rape as to make light of it.
I have an often raunchy sense of humor, but come on now.
Brilliantly written letter! I think that pointing out the growing demographic of female listeners was an incredibly smart move.
Excellent. Thank you.
Nice job, Heather! Way to stand up for what is right.
A VERY well-written letter. I love the way that you were calm and rational and yet able to point out exactly what was so offensive about the segment in question. As you said, this isn’t something that calls for heads on a platter and anyone losing a job, but an acknowledgement from them that they should not have said the things they did and the possibility that they might think twice before saying something like that again would be worth a lot. Please keep us posted on any results of the letter.
Rock on with your bad self, Fish. You are our hero(ine!) Hopefully, some sort of disciplinary action is taken.
I have to echo what everyone else has commented already. Very well said, and thank you.
Now to side-step the bigger issue. I’d highly recommend giving up on the Ticket and try listening to and/or reading Grantland. I’m not even really a sports fan, but I like to listen. Could be that I’m from Boston, but I really like Bill Simmons. I think he’s funny, thoughtful and well-spoken. He even stands up for what he sees as wrong in sports as his recent comments show regarding the blantantly racist statements being made about Jeremy Lin.
Way to be! I love that you stated your case without getting ugly. Without seeming angry. With reason, with respect. Bra-freaking-vo.
Heather, thank you for a job well done and for standing up for what you thing is right.
Heather –
That is awesome that you decided to stand up rather than shut up and just talk about it here on the blog. I’m interested to see what they will come back with but regardless, you did a good thing. Thanks!
Woman, you are full of the awesome! Granted I am a bit extra weepy with the cold virus and all, but I am just getting caught up on your latest posts and as a survivor myself of kidnapping and repeated rape (when I was 21) your letter to Jeff made me cry just a little. ‘Bra-freaking-vo’ (per Serial, above), indeed.
you are my hero! well done!
I’ve been a long-time reader of your blog and I’ve followed your journey for a while. While I’ve done little happy dances and experienced mini bouts of joy for all that’s going well in your life (for which you truly deserve because you’re a lovely woman), I’ve never felt the urge to comment until today.
A wise drag queen once told me “if you don’t have a dollar you have a voice” meaning to use what you have to express yourself. She was referring to cheers for her performance, but the point stands here–you made a choice to stand up for a subject that is unfortunately a lot of fodder for jokes in male-dominated arenas. Thank you for standing up for people who can’t use their own voices for whatever reason. You did the right thing and I’m so happy that you did. More people need to take a stand; I know that I’m inspired by what you’ve done. Thank you for being a one woman revolution.
Rock on, Heather. Your action makes me proud to be your reader.
Good for you.
Thank you for doing what so few people do using your voice for those that can’t!
Truly amazing! Great job!
That was SO SO awesome of you. I wish I was as eloquent as you.
BTW, reading your letter plus everyone’s comments while listening to Adele equals teary eyes.
Great job! Now let’s see what “Jeff” says.
You rock. The letter was as beautifully written as any of your best blog posts… And THAT’S sayin’ something. Thanks for standing up for us. For women.
Good for You!
Wow, he sure is taking his time getting back with you!
I know! I sent him an email today asking for an update.
Good for you for using your voice! Even if you don’t get the results you want; you stood up for what you thought was wrong… #loveit
Proud of you! Great letter.