I’m still here. I have no intention of shutting down my blog completely, which is why I haven’t posted the official sign-off some of you are asking for. I might not have much to talk about right now, but that doesn’t mean it will always be that way.
In fact, last week, my nephew Andrew was born, which is among the most meaningful things I have ever participated in. His dad got very ill and I stepped in as birth partner to my sister. Extraordinarily moving. And I was going to post about it, but then I got back to my email and lo and behold, there were quite a few about the blog. And among the friendly how-are-you emails were a handful of why-haven’t-you-posted? and don’t-you-owe-your-readers-better? emails and it started to feel burdensome, right out of the gate.
Doing something out of obligation sucks all of the joy right out of it and all I want is to love it again, to actually need it again. Which may or may not make sense to you.
I’m living Ground Hog Day. Wherein Ground Hog Day is actually Pay the Bills Day. We’re living and working and sleeping and eating all with the goal of paying off our debt so we can start a family. We meet financial goals by maintaining a strict budget and we maintain a strict budget by not doing jack shit. That’s just the way it be. It is boring and repetitive and stifling sometimes. And it certainly isn’t anything to write about.
Since December of 2010, we have paid off roughly forty thousand dollars of credit card and student loan debt. We have about half of that left to pay and even typing that sentence makes me want to retreat back into the quiet of my spreadsheet. See?
It’s just the way things are and it won’t always be. So while I’m sorry to those I have offended by not making a proper exit, it’s just not something I’m ready to do.
Andrew Michael Christensen. Hours old and minutes away from puking down my shirt.
Bravo to each of you for your discipline in following a strict budget. Not an easy feat at all, so way to go. And while I don’t expect you to update how you’re doing, it’s great to hear you’re alive and kicking.
At the end of the day, this is YOUR blog and you owe nothing to anyone but yourself. That being said, it is nice to see a post from you and congrats on paying down the debt and trying to get your head out from under it all.
You may have already come across this blog, but given your priorities at the moment, it may be entertaining for you:
http://nomoreharvarddebt.com/
I read the blog from start to finish in a few hours.
Best of luck!!
Hey Fish -
Kudos to you for buckling down on your debt. I’m buckling down on spending fun too, for other reasons, and I so “get” that it equals less fun and less to write about. I even cancelled my cable – and so far have lived to tell about it. : )
I sometimes don’t feel like blogging either. Of course, I’ve never been as faithful about it as you, and accordingly do not have your following, so when I don’t blog nobody says anything. : ) But as a previous commenter wrote – this is your blog! Not ours! We miss you, but gosh, please don’t let us burden you. Glad to see you poking your head up.
Your new nephew is awfully cute. Congrats on being an integral part of all that! Amazing. My neighbor just had a baby too, so I’ve been getting some baby time myself. I don’t want one, but I do like to visit…
Have you been to Chihuly yet? I haven’t, but plan to go in the Fall when it’s cooler and maybe thinner crowds.
Glad you’re still around … and paying down debt … and blogging about baby puke
Happy Tuesday!
Glad to see you posting again, but girl, you don’t owe me a thing. In fact, I owe YOU! And in fact, I am finally going to tip you! I hope you only post for the love of it. I would LOVE to hear your thoughts about the early years of marriage, living through debt reduction, and anything else you’d like to share.
Yay for you on the debt thing! I have missed reading your posts, but that’s not your problem. When you can post, it’s always a nice surprise for me. That’s all.
I’m sorry that you’re being harassed for not posting! As Heather already said, you don’t owe it to anyone to write anything here.
I’ve been a reader of yours for a very long time. I’m mostly a lurker. I take your absence to be mostly a good thing.
Amazing job getting that debt dealt with. That is a huge undertaking. I’m in the midst of tackling my own debt as well. It’s hard, but I know it will be worth it in the end
My, aren’t we selfish, living our life and not blogging when we don’t feel we have anything to say? Don’t you know you OWE us this? Can’t you see how this effects ME?
Welcome to Andrew. And brava on making the sacrifices necessary to ditch the debt. You’ll feel 1,000 pounds lighter when you’re done. Keep your eye on the prize. We’ll be here when you’re ready.
You totally rock. You don’t owe anyone anything, if there are readers who have a beef about the evolution of your life they are completely ridiculous and don’t understand what living actually is.
Yes it’s lame and stifling to be fiscally responsible and pay off your debt, but there are so many of us out here trying to do the same and are glad there is someone who we ‘know’ that is doing it too…
Yay responsible choices! Yay for starting a family on solid ground! Yay for being This Fish Part II, married and (trying to be) responsible!
Hi Heather!
You go ahead and update whenever you damn please. I have Twitter by which to stalk you (Have none of the complainers thought of this yet?). I just wanted to say a huge congrats on the loan repayment/debt extrication project! I’m rapidly accumulating medical school debt and it’s scary to think about how much there is or how I’m going to pay it back. I also used to be all sizzling and scandalous with my bad date stories and now that I’m happily in a relationship and concentrating on becoming a doctor, I get the occasional, “Your life is so boring now” comments. Then, I write about something SUPER boring like hormone synthesis or my study cubicle in the library, so that people can truly understand the debts of BOREDOM that I have to share. “Don’t make me take a picture of my coffee cup in on my desk! I’ll DO IT too!”
RE: Debt payments: What a huge accomplishment. Kudos! I’m rooting for you.
Congrats on the new nephew and on the amazing debt reduction! Sorry to hear that people are hassling you. Hope you reach your debt goals soon and get to set off on a new stage of life. Looking forward to reading about anything you feel moved to write.
Well, what a surprise to see a new post!!! Yea!!! Is that enough exclamations??? Hehehe I’ve missed your posts and look forward to reading whatever you post, whenever you post it. Congrats on being an Auntie again.
I’m always happy to hear from you…just knowing that you’re not going to shut the blog down makes me happy. Congrats on the nephew and to paying off debt!
Yay for paying off debt! If you have to hold off on adventures for now, so be it. All your struggle will be worth it when you finally owe nothing.
We’ll miss you in this space and are glad whenever you decide to share posts, but don’t let obligation take all the fun out of it!
Thanks for posting and congratulations, Auntie! I hope you and the Dork Lord are also finding (more) exciting but not expensive things to do in your journey to debt-free-ness.
I remember when I moved from Utah to Philadelphia a few years ago. I was on what I refer to as a “zero dollar budget” wherein I had zero dollars of disposable income. Every. Single. Penny. was budgeted for one bill or another, but eventually things got better, and I got to see and do some amazing things. That day you wake up and are completely debt free is incredibly liberating – I promise it’s worth it.
Congrats on becoming an Auntie again!! May God Bless him and keep him close. Congrats also on bringing down your debt. That is an amazing accomplishment that not many can admit too. I agree with some of the other comments: This is YOUR blog. Keep it or close it, but you owe us nothing. You are much loved by many and whether you keep the blog open or not, that will not change. You have a life and a husband and, hopefully some day soon, a family. Good luck to you!! Positive thoughts, prayers and good vibes headed your way!!
Glad you’re back! Anytime you post is great with me
Congratulations!
Congrats, Auntie Heather! It’s nice to hear from you again, but ditto to what everyone else is saying. You owe us nothing, and give us a great gift by writing here at all. So…thanks. And glad to see you’re doing well
Bravo on paying off that much debt! Sorry people are being jerks about you not posting, I was just plesantly surprised to see a new post.
As far as not doing anything…can’t you do free stuff? I am sure your city has tons of free stuff. You could get way into cooking and picnicing and taking up digital photography (only if you already havea camera). You could work out and do crafts and learn how to dance a new dance from youtube, I don’t know…these are all just friendly suggestions and I know it is much easier for me to tell you to do that than for me to work it out after a long ass day of work and find the time to do it myself…I guess I am just trying to inspire you because I think you deserve that lust for life feeling. Also…once you start a family, if you continure to work, you will be hard pressed, for a few years, for free time to do this kind of stuff (trust this mother of toddler twins).
One suggestion that could save you money and turn into a passion…start a veggie garden. There will be a bit of start up costs for the soil and seeds but it will more than pay for itself. You can grown fancy salad lettuce and tomatoes and all kinds of stuff.
Anyways, Bravo again on the debt payoff, that is monumental and seriously badass of you!
Given the overhang of debt looming above many a newly-wed couple, I’d argue not only have you achieved 2/3 of something amazing, but that it’s part of an adventure that’s every bit worth writing about. I imagine you could make some late night spreadsheet moment into a rather neat little story!
Then again, I’m a mathematician that sometimes reads financial statements for kicks; I may be an outlier.
ThisFish the financial planning blog, anyone?
Congrats on both counts, at any rate!
$40k in less than two years? That. Is. Amazing. I’m sure it sucks at the moment, but will be so worth it in the end. Good for you
Welcome back even if only for a moment.
I <3 the baby. oooh
Kudos on the debt.
Until I read again xoxoxo your way.
D
I was catching up on my RSS feed and found myself thinking about you because I hadn’t noticed a post for a while. That being said it wasn’t I felt you “owed” me as a reader. I just missed you and its nice to be missed I think. Absence makes the hear grow fonder? Good things are worth waiting for? YAY on paying off such a huge chunk of debt that is amazing! That along with getting married and buying a house too you should be so proud! We just got rid of the last of our credit debt in April and it was so strange the first month going um, what do we do with this money. The funny thing is we don’t want to spend because we don’t want the debt back. Right now the goal is to have a nice little stash in the bank and a little more feeling of control over own financial and career futures. So good luck on the last 20K, its likely as hard as the last 10lbs but just as satisfying!
Congratulations on your new baby nephew–hope your brother-in-law is feeling better, too. I was in the room when my niece was born 15 years ago and it remains one of the greatest memories of my life. Good luck with your debt reduction and with finding inspiration for the blog again.
You owe us nothing. I miss your writing, but who wouldn’t? You are an excellent writer. Keep up your hard work, I keep checking in for that little bit of sunshine you bring to my life. Congrats on Andrew! He’s adorable.
Good for you. I’m super impressed by the debt pay-down, and by your refusal to give in to silly demands by your “public.”
Also: Witnessing the birth of another human being is the best. Ever. It helps when they’re related to you. I looove being an auntie.
I am personnally glad that you aren’t shutting your blog down. Yes, I wish you would post like you used to, but you don’t owe that to me or anyone else! So, I will just still stop by every so often to see if you have posted anything! Congrats on the new nephew!
so good to “see” you, but please don’t feel obligated. i’ve been a reader of yours for a long time and i will continue reading as long as you post.
we all go through seasons of our life when we really feel like we have nothing to say. i’m sticking around for when you do have something to say.
congrats on the debt repayment, that’s awesome. also, your nephew is a cutie!
I am also recently married and trying to pay off debt. It’s frustrating to watch other recently married friends spend and take fun trips and such…knowing that we could be doing the same thing if we were not trying to pay off debt and be responsible. I try to focus on being thankful for the great jobs we have…but that’s not always easy. I’m confident that someday it will pay off for both of us…and until then I will continue to find new ways to cook chicken because I’m too cheap to buy beef!
Just talking of ending your blog made Andrew sick.
I have always enjoyed your writing and perspective and dont feel you owe any reader a detailed explanation of your reasoning. I will say that paying down your debt is a brilliant idea, but dont avoid debt like its a disease. The things that a little debt can bring to your life, like your home and a reliable car to get to your fabulous job, make the rest of your life a little easier. I compare taking on debt to bungee jumping. It can be fun if you do it right, but make sure you have the right safeguards in place.
Thank you… for not closing down your blog. Take your time on posting – do it for yourself and I’m sure you’ve now seen we will be here following along.
hooray you’re there! I was actually starting to get a bit worried – there’s a couple of blogs I’ve followed over the years and they’ve just .. stopped … and I, of course, always think immediately of the worst thing (tequilamockingbird for example …)! Of course it’s none of our business if you decide to just stop or have a hiatus But I’m very glad you’re just living your life and congratulations on working so hard to get that debt down – how inspirational! Look forward to hearing the next installment, whenever that may be
Oh yes, and bubs is a cutey 
Echoing probably most of the sentiment here; you’ve got nothing to apologize for. The people who expect you to give them an explanation or a “formal goodbye” do. I for one will check back to see if you post again (and hope you do, and because I enjoy your writing), and if you don’t, silently wish you well.
So. You’re amazing, first of all. And I’m glad to see you are back and doing well. Congrats on the debt payoff, that is so inspirational! You won’t ever regret these boring, hard times later down the line. Have you considered doing some financial posts? That would be great to read. Take care!!
Fish, you made it quite clear that you’d be posting when you felt you had something you wanted to say. Simple as that. Ignore those that complain, as obviously their comprehension levels are lacking. You owe us nothing! I’ve recently wondered how you were doing and wished you well from afar, knowing that eventually we’d “see” you again.
And…here’s today and there you are.
Wooohooo!
Happy to know you’re busy, living, working and loving. Kudos to you both!
And of course, Congratulations to you, Auntie (and Uncle) on the arrival of baby, Andrew. He’s beautiful!
Thank you, as always, for sharing.
Stay happy! Be well! And, I look forward to “seeing” you again, hopefully sooner than later but, eventually nonetheless!
Peace.
Happy to see you are back; the nephew is cute! Kudos to your new life with your love; sounds like you are going in the right direction.
Hi Heather:
Been a follower for a long time and have always been entertained and always wished you the very best. (I was the guy who made the offer of my magical late young wife’s wedding dress when things looked bad… it’s a long story, not worth much drama.) Your absence has been noted by many. And I was wondering if you were another of the old-time intenet’s vanishing acts. Glad to hear you are doing well and that life keeps offering new adventures. Hang in there, punkin. Life is for Living, with no apologies. When it comes time to say good-bye, just take the moment to say that It’s Time. I see you moving on to exciting new things and continue to wish you the best. On Line or Off.
My continued best wishes to a Good Egg,
W.B. (sometimes a bit scrambled myself…)
Congratulations on your nephew, he is darling! You don’t “owe” your readers anything, you have given us years of laughs and provoked deep thoughts, and hopefully you have received lots of positives as well as given. I’ve been worried about you, and am so glad to know that you are healthy and well, just bored and constrained. It’s for a good cause – kids are the best blessing ever! But having kids with huge debt hanging over ones head can suck the joy, so you are being so smart! Take care of yourself, know that we care about you and enjoy your posts, whenever they come along!
Welcome back! Glad to hear all is well, just boring
Your nephew is beautiful, and I hope his father is doing better.
I personally love when you post about saving money. I’ve stolen budgeting ideas from you before (spreadsheets!!) and would love to hear some more tips. When you have time. Focus on YOU first! I’ve been a faithful reader for five years, whether you post daily or if it’s a few weeks (or months) between posts.
Congrats on your new nephew! How’s your brother-in-law doing? Cool debt paydown, too. As you know, I’m also stalking you via Twitter, so I get my quick, occasional Fish fixes. That said, life with cats is never boring. Just post pix of Hal & Midge twice weekly or so, & everyone will be happy. On a cat mom note, my old old kitty has a ruptured eyeball and will become a 1 eyed cat on Friday. It’s so cool that she’s not human because she will not notice, care or worry. Anyhoo, nice to hear from you!
Glad you to see all is well, albeit a little boring.
Congratulations on being an Auntie again. I keep saying I need to pay down my debt, but I am horrible at budgeting! Never feel you have to post here, although being a 6 year stalker I do miss you posts. If you feel like posting soon, would love to hear some advice on budgeting! xoxo
Congrats on being an Auntie again (is this #3?) Good job on paying down the debt, that’s quite a bit to be proud of. Look forward to all your posts even if they are few and far between these days.
What a sweet little man! Big & many congratulations to your family!
And, I’ll add my two cents of agreement to those saying you don’t “owe” your readers anything. You should absolutely enjoy the freedom of posting at will. I’ve enjoyed your blog for ages now, and I’d much rather have the hope that maybe I’ll see a new post next time I stop by over the sadness of your words being gone forever.
Well, hello there!
I’m like the rest of the crowd above – pretty gosh-darn happy you posted, with a big ol’ goofy grin on my face (Ooooo, babies!). You have a beautiful storytelling voice, regardless of the subject matter.
I love it when you share, understand when you don’t, and wish you well all of the rest of the time. (Although when I pop in and the blog has reverted back to the pre-Maura, pre-iVillage design, there’s a quick flash of worry.)
I hope you can think of the why-haven’t-you-written folks as well-meaning but utterly clueless, in a doddering elderly relative way. (And as for the don’t-you-owe-your-readers-better ones? How about responding with, “I’ve gone to a subscription service. Here’s your bill, jackhole”? Okay, okay, you’re too classy for that, but it gave me a little evil smile thinking about it.)
You’ve managed to knock out 40K of debt in 18 months — all with a mortgage, kitten bills, DL’s school and the rest of LIFE happening? That’s a serious, serious accomplishment. At that rate, you have 9 more months of austerity measures and then bring on the family planning!
I hope your brother-in-law is well and that your sister and newest nephew are thriving. They’re lucky to have SuperAuntie to the rescue, undeterred by goo or barf. Best to you and the DL (and his studies), too.
I’ll be here when you’re back in love with writing! ~K
Welcome Back! Congratulations on the new family member! You have been doing this a long time – you deserve whatever break you take!!
Lindsey
MarketSquareMusings.com
$40K of debt in two years? Reason #40K why you are my hero. You go fish! (just come back when something fun happens)
Oh Fish. The complainers can stuff it. The faithful are happy to read when you have something to share and privileged to send good vibes when this page is silent. Congratulations on settling so beautifully into a major shared goal. Doing JACK TACO for three years is so worth the freedom when all the accounts say “$0 owed”, trust me.
I’ve lurked on your blog for years, never posted before. I’ve loved it all and have gotten strength and encouragement from your trials and adventures with family, boys, and work. I miss you when you don’t post, but I understand the frustrations. I hope one day there is a return of The Fish!
Good luck with that debt, it’s so amazing that you’ve come so far already. We’re cheering for you!
Welcome back! Glad to hear all is well, just boring. Your nephew is beautiful, and I hope his father is doing better.
Thank You!
What they said! Happy to hear from you. A pox on the people who give you grief.
Am there, and am doing that too! Debt is tough work and kudos to you both for sticking with it. Doing “jack” is sure boring work but it’s so worth it when you see those numbers going down on your spreadsheet.
Post because you want, not because it’s demanded of you (shouldn’t that be the general rule with the exception of an employer/employee relationship maybe?)! Glad to have heard an update and congrats to you and your family on a beautiful new addition.
My other and I have made the same choice as well. While it doesn’t make for good fodder for a blog in need of a meaty post (the will to post on mine has been thus suspended as the will to get out of heaping debt is much stronger), it does make for figuring one’s life out and that’s a pretty spectacular thing.
So…despite what some have ask for, albeit demanded, you do what you want, when you want. Because the majority of us love you and we’ll check in every now and then to say hello (which is always the better alternative to goodbye).
Congrats on the incredible budgeting/loan repayment feat! You’re doing awesome! Hopefully the other half can by paid off even faster!
And your newphew? ADORABLE!!!!