Day One: Sunday
“The good part is, you will be able to put them down humanely.”
I stared at the vet tech, put my hand over my mouth and choked on a sob. At eight weeks old, the kittens had contracted feline distemper, a virus that, with rare exceptions, is lethal in kittens. Mama cat had been adopted the day before and the antibodies from her breast milk had run their course. The kittens were defenseless.
“We call it the ‘wasting away disease,’” she said. “Their immune systems are simply too immature to fight it.”
When the tech took the kittens into the back to make them more comfortable with fluids and anti-nausea injections, I sank into a chair and cried, my mouth buried in the crook of my arm to muffle the sound of hysteria. A text from my mother read, “Best thing is to say goodbye.” Our family had dealt with distemper before. It was devastating.
I gathered up the kittens, the antibiotic I knew we had little hope of keeping in their violently churning tummies, paid the vet and went home to cry pitilessly into my husband’s shoulder. Once the kittens had fallen asleep, I began scouring the internet for information on Feline Panleukopenia. I shouldn’t have. It was horrifying. Nothing I read gave me any hope of them lasting more than three days; I understood then why the vet had only given me five days worth of medication. He knew they would be dead before it ran out.
Medical science told me to let them go. But I could not. My reading told me that the virus was like the parvo virus in dogs. Our family had dealt with parvo before, too. It required around-the-clock, intensive care, forced fluids and nutrition. And faith. Else, how could you spend hour after hour battling something you can’t see? If I could keep the kittens alive long enough to develop antibodies against the virus, they could make it. But first I had to take on fever spikes, drops in body temperature, shock and dehydration. So I held them while they shivered, tucked them inside my sweatshirt and cried streams of snot onto my sleeve. “I’m sorry,” I said, over and over. “You deserve better than this. Better than me.”
In-hospital care would have cost $500 per kitten, per day. It was simply not an option for us. I was eaten up with remorse and guilt.
Day Two: Monday
Every two hours, day and night, I gathered up the babies and squirted Pedialyte from a syringe into their tiny mouths. They shuddered and cried and I stroked their backs while I whispered, “Please don’t throw up. Please don’t throw up.” They did anyway. We took two trips, one in the morning and one at night, to the vet for fluids and anti-nausea injections. At 4:00AM, Nelly drank on her own. Nelly, who twelve hours before had convinced me of the doctor’s advice to let them go. Each time her body heaved to throw up, bloody water came out the other end.
“How long can I let them go on like this?” I asked my husband, a hand over my face to hide the ugliness of my agony.
“Until you know the medicine will or won’t work.”
With Nelly stabilizing, I had a bit of hope we could save at least one. The others fought through unbearable nausea and debilitating diarrhea, crying when their stomachs cramped hard enough to force thin, foamy water from their otherwise empty tummies.
My husband woke me between feedings. “What happened? Is everything okay?” I had been crying in my sleep.
Day Three: Tuesday
I took another sick day to nurse the kittens, sleeping while they slept. Two more trips to the vet (after a kind and generous gift from a Facebook friend I’d never even met, continued care was made much more doable) and countless attempts at peeling Nelly off my yoga pants when she’d scamper up them to perch on my shoulder like a parrot. The runt of the litter, it both surprised me and didn’t that she had such verve. Such fight. When she went into the litter box and, for the first time in days, did not cry, I clapped when she produced a real poop. No one has ever been so happy to see poop, ever. Twelve hours later, Hamilton followed suit.
Day Four: Wednesday
With two kittens stabilized and two still showing little progress, I had to go back to work, stomach sick from constant worry. Gentry wouldn’t eat and Holly wouldn’t engage. At lunch, I went home to do a round of fluids and food and as I cradled Gentry, I heard a sound – the slightest little hint, barely perceptible, that he had a stuffy nose. Kittens who can’t smell don’t eat. I ran to the bathroom where the Little Noses baby nose spray was from our last Mission Impossible: Kitten Rescue and dosed him up. By evening, he was going back for thirds.
Day Five: Thursday
Holly isn’t much for playing yet (aside from toying with the string on my sweatshirt) but she’s eating, drinking and cuddling – no longer choosing to slink off and sleep alone under the sofa. Nelly and Hamilton are driving. me. effing. crazy. Which is to say, they feel great. Gentry is getting there, too.
I told my boss that I was going to sleep through the night and start wearing eye makeup again, because I feel safe in saying, we did it, no more crying. Yeah, it will have to be bargain basement eye make-up after $850 in vet bills over four days, but ask me if that’s too much to pay not to have to euthanize four eight-week-old babies. Or don’t ask; just have a look for yourself.
Nelly & Hamilton (who still needs a mommy)
Holly & Gentry
And last but not least, Mama Nox, in her new home with her new favorite boy, Caleb. All but Hamilton have new homes to go to (as soon as they’re all better) but this adoption gives me the most joy. I worried and worried and worried (as I do) that Mama Cat wouldn’t find a home. But someone scooped her up into a loving home with a little boy who wants nothing more than a kitty of his own to sleep on his bed. My heart hurts, a little, with how happy that makes me.
My heart broke for you with that story. I was desparately afraid of a sad ending and had to stop for tissues. You are the ultimate kitty mom. I’m so happy they all survived and are getting new homes. . I hope you get a little bit of a break, and some peace and quiet.
Seriously just made me tear up at work
You make a great kitty momma, nursemaid, worry wart and all around pretty amazing person!
You are, quite simply, an UNBELIEVEABLE person!
Everyone who knows you is just lucky to have you in their life.
Your boundless ability to unselfishly love every living thing around you makes this world a better place one kitty at a time.
THANK YOU
Whew! I think I held my breath through that whole entry! SO SO SO happy for you and the kitties!
You are truly amazing! And I’m so glad this story has a happy ending.
I think I am going to cry tears of joy and relief.
Your dedication to these cats is so awe inspiring!
You’re amazing! I’m so very happy at this ending!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Crying. The world is such a lovelier, better place with you in it. You’re an angel on Earth.
Just. WOW. (and *sniff*). From one cat lover to the next, I can’t thank you enough for your strength, your determination and your love.
I can’t take in another kitty, but if there’s any way for me to help out, please let me know. Email me privately, even. I know every little bit helps.
Hugs to you and belly rubs to those adorable kittens.
Hi, Mel –
At the top right (under the masthead) is a little donation button for Pay Pal. Heather is ridiculously generous with her love, but, like most of us, only has a normal-sized salary. Many of us have donated through that button over the years. Hope that helps!
I’m in love with Hamilton. If El Paso and Dallas weren’t so far apart I’d adopt him in a heartbeat.
He is IMPOSSIBLE not to love. His little wolf cub face, and his round belly. He’s exquisite. My husband wants to keep him, but for so many reasons, that seems too much for me.
El Paso to Dallas = 10 hours? Meet halfway? Its still a long drive but look at that face!
I would totally go for that! My foster puppy gets her forever home tonight so the house will be feeling a little lonely.
Thank you so much for sticking by and caring for those kittens and their mama. I volunteer for a dog rescue group and we just lost 6 of 8 puppies in a litter to distemper. The shelter in KY they came from put down 198 of 211 of their dogs due to the dreadful disease. I’m so glad your perseverance and patience was rewarded with a happy ending.
Oh my god. That’s unthinkable. I’m so so sorry to hear it.
I dont know many people who would be able to do what you just did. Good for you. Hugs. Sat at work tearing up at my desk like an idiot. LOL Good to hear from you .
Bawled like a baby at my desk.
Great job!
I’m in tears. You’re the best cat mom ever.
Wow. What a story… You have the biggest heart ever!
I hope Hamilton finds a home!
Geez, tissue warning next time, k? Trying not to look like the crazy crying girl at her desk at work, making coughing noises over the sniffles so no one will know.
This hits close to home. We recently rescued a kitten (and when I say rescue, I mean my sister literally pulled him out of one of the busiest intersections in town) and while he’s only got some digestive problems that he should be able to overcome, I don’t think I would have the strength to do what you did. You were strong for them when they couldn’t be, and that is amazing.
You are an AMAZING person. It warms my heart to see how much someone can care about animals and what she’ll go through to help them. You deserve a freaking medal! I’m so happy to hear the kittens got through it with your help and love. I wish I could hug you!
I love you. That’s all.
Oh, man…you are quite the angel. You have an amazing, giving, open heart. Thank goodness those guys have you.
I love you too. You are my hero, you amazing, big-hearted woman with angel wings where you think your shoulder blades are. Luckiest kitties ever.
Just….wow. I would have been right where you were and I’m crying with relief. My two adopted babies are healthy, for the most part (with the exception of a very expensive ear infection and scratched cornea… at the same time), and I would have been inconsolable if I had to go through this. You are simply amazing. I know those beautiful kittens will pay it forward in untold thousands of ways.
And if I wasn’t crying already, that little boy’s smile sealed the deal. Time to go snorgle my babies.
Okay, seriously, isn’t his grin like the best thing you’ve ever seen? He’s so PROUD.
I feel for you. I fostered a mama kitty and her 2 little ones (we aren’t sure what happened to the rest of the litter). They came down with a terrible sickness and scared the beejesus out of me. Especially since I have my own 3 cats that were at least somewhat exposed. I nursed those poor little ones. Mama and one daughter, I named Latte and Espresso, now live with my parents as first time cat owners. The other daugher, Macchi of macchiato, well, she had lingering neurological problems and found a home with some serious animal lovers. She now has a little head tick when she gets excited and has earned the name Macchi-Doodle. So, anyway, I want to say that it is amazing to help the poor little ones and I also couldn’t say it wasn’t worth fighting for them. I am so very happy to hear the good news. But you also made me cry at work!
Thank goodness this story has a happy ending… or is it five happy endings (one for each kitty)? Because this very pregnant girl could not have taken it if even one of those kittens didn’t make it. You, Heather, are a dear.
I’m speechless and in awe of your strength. Did you ever consider becoming a vet yourself?
What can’t you do after this? You should feel pretty damned invincible.
My husband & I are adopting a 13 yo girl from the foster system. She moved in with us today. Just a few minutes ago, it hit me that I’M A MOM and that’s kind of a huge responsibility. So of course I started to panic. But if you can beat back a fatal kitten disease, I think I can handle a human.
Goodness, you just made me cry — you are a mom and you are a wonderful human.
i’ve waited so long and patiently for you to post again… what a gracious thing to do. i’d be SO proud if i could call you my friend.
You are amazing! Please accept a small donation left in your “tip jar” to be used for kitten medical bills. The world needs more people like you!
You really are amazing and have such a big heart. I teared up while reading this. So glad to hear the kitties are on the mend.
You posted this yesterday, but I am reading this today, which is my birthday. I think this is the best gift I’ll get this year.
Thank you for not giving up on these sweethearts. You make the world a better place.
I will return the favor – I can’t spare much, but there’s a little something in your jar from me.
Im sooo happy the babies made it!! I was so worried!! I’ll be meeting you next week when I come to pick up Gentry for Linda. I cant wait to meet the other kittens too. Bless you for giving so much to save them. So many others would’nt have bothered. I don’t understand the indifference some people have towards animals and I distance myself from them. It’s good to know there’s more people out there who care.
I’ll be in touch next week to make the arrangements.
See you soon!! Monika ^..^
Oh Heather, you are capable of breaking my heart and making me inexplicably happy in the course of one post. Everyone else is right on the money, you are an amazing person. Coming from someone who is going through the trauma of having to send another beloved pet to the Rainbow Bridge far too soon (brain tumor), I know the torment that causes, and I applaud you for your constant positive attitude and your bottomless heart. You are an inspiration to everyone of how living things should treat each other.
You have so much good karma coming your way for the many cats you’ve saved. If you lived in Los Angeles I would take a pair off your hands.
I’m so glad the kittens are doing better. Poor little babies. Lucky they had you around to take care of them.
Oh my gosh, god bless you. I held my breath all the way through and half laughed, half happy sobbed at the end. You saved those sweet babies.
You are amazing! And those kitties were born under a lucky star. As a mom of two cats, I totally get why you couldn’t give up. Seriously, I want to be you when I grow up. Fingers crossed that all continues to go well and that Hamilton gets snatched up.
If everyone cared about animals even a fraction of the amount that you do, this world would be a much better place.
So glad everyone made it through the ordeal ok!
This made me love you. In an admiration sort of way.
I would have fought that fight too. Thank you for saving them, so glad they made it!
Heather, you are amazing. I love a girl with grit! You accomplished a miracle and you are truly a crazy cat lady. Kudos!
You know what? Just God bless your soul!! xo