beer goggles and natalie portman’s panties

Am so v. v. glad that on day that am wearing wrinkled but ever-so-comfy clothes and rushing to work sans makeup and looking completely disgusting, that run into IRB outside, not fifty feet from safety. Oh dear god!

Why not yesterday? Why not yesterday when was dressed head-to-toe in v. attractive earth colors and really great accessories (the shoes were great, must say). Why not then?

FUCK!

At this exact moment, am certain IRB is knitting brows in confusion pondering the age old phenomenon of beer goggles.

Had date last night with M. Met at local, sit-on-carpet-and-share-communal-table Middle Eastern restaurant. Shared such table with v. tiny brunette and v. tiny brunette’s not-so-attractive blond male companion. At one point, nudged M.

H: You know who that is right? Who we’re sharing a table with?
M: No. Who?
H: Natalie Portman.
M: What? We’re eating next to Queen Amidala?!
H: Shh! Yes. Don’t you feel lucky?
M: (taking long look at Ms. Portman — no make up, hair in ponytail, low rise jeans showing…) I can see Natalie Portman’s panties!
H: (laughing) Yes, everyone here can.
M: Wow.

19 comments to beer goggles and natalie portman’s panties

  • Ari

    Hmmm…. I think Nat’s stalking you!

  • Hasn’t everyone seen her panties? *snort*

    Did she have her dogs with her?

  • Me

    The burning question is…was she wearing a thong?!?

  • You had a date with Mr. Met? Did his big baseball head attract attention?

    How’d you meet old 00 anyway?

    Can you get me free tickets? An Autographed Mr. Met baseball?

  • Michael

    I wonder if I would be so in love with NP if I saw her all pedestrian-like, like you do.

  • Doug, the (period) after the M says that we’re moving on to a new sentence.

  • Doug

    Damn. This story was a lot funnier picturing you there with Mr. Met.

    I prefer my version.

    :)

  • OK, is she as ridiculously cute in person as she is in the movies? (Say no, say no, say no….)

  • tab

    why are you going on dates with him and not IRB? …maybe I missed something.

  • Katherine

    I wouldn’t mind being Natalie Portman. But if I could choose, I’d rather be the luminous Isabelle Adjani. The one person who said I resembled her has been my best friend ever since.

  • sas

    now… this isnt the first time youve run into her since being up there, is it?

    didnt you see her on campus when you first moved?

    anyway.. i love you miss.

  • Now, if Ms. Portman can go out and about without makeup on, why should you feel bad about doing the same?

  • i just want to say hello – i stumbled upon your site today and immediately read as much as i could. i needed to know everything about IRB and the fish. you are addictive.

    thanks – i can’t wait to read more!

  • if memory serves me right, you and IRB made out, so it sounds to me that the getting’s got.

    on the flip side, guys like gals when they’re rumply (it’s a secret of ours). score to you.

  • -ed

    I think Natalie might be graduating this week, so the sightings might decrease severly.

    And to answer your question Diana, she’s very very thin. Kind of like a lollipop.

    Oh, and I hear she was very proud of making out with hayden christensen (a.k.a. anakin skywalker) on-set during episode II. gross.

  • HAHAHAHAHA.

    She ate a restaurant that I was at once too. And I swear that I said “We’re eating with Queen Amidala”. That poor girl. She’s never going to live that shit down. Nor the panty thing. hahahahahaha!

  • Ok…did I just write that “she ate a restaurant”.

    Well, it wasn’t a typo. She ate the whole thing.

  • Why can’t I ever meet Queen Amidala? Although, I did meet Princess Leia once. Oh, I know you didn’t meet her…but still…you got to see her panties which is just about the same thing. Why can’t I see celebrity panties? *pout*