I called in sick this morning and spent the day doing things that made me feel more like myself. I read, I napped. The really good fiction I picked up at Barnes and Noble this weekend is good in the way that rich, foreign desserts are good. Or time spent with my mother is good. It’s best appreciated in small doses.
When I’d had enough (of the book and of being alone), I went across the street to the grocery store where I wandered up and down the aisles to see if anything struck my fancy. Baker’s chocolate, mini marshmallows. In the dairy cooler, a man stocking the yogurt serenaded me with whatever Lionel Richie song was playing over the PA. I grinned and dropped an obscene amount of milk into my cart. I don’t drink milk, but there was a plan involved.
Tonight, Shiv came over bearing Peppermint Schnapps. We drank spiked cocoa (at the last moment, mini marshmallows seemed overkill), moving on to the expensive wine that had been meant for a dinner with Joe. Then we ended our reign as The Last Two Reasonable People to Have Seen Garden State.
And here’s where I take a tangent…
It seems that The Bloggies, like the New York Times article, has unleashed the demon blog critics. Like last time, it’s all been fairly ridiculous. I do not belong on the list with my competitors. I slept with the Bloggie Committee. I have a big nose. I am self-serving. And I am dull.
I do not belong on the list. As far as that goes, it might have something to do with the fact that this is a personal blog. The only personal blog on that list. So yeah, maybe I don’t! But, I didn’t nominate myself, so maybe what it amounts to is not everyone has the same tastes. Can we agree on that? Fine. Moving on.
I slept with the Bloggie committee. Nope. I’d have totally written about it if I did.
I have a big nose. It’s true. I do. Point conceded.
I am self-serving. Again, this is a personal blog. What else can I do but shrug and point out that this particular tidbit came from an ad-supported site. I’m totally convinced that they must donate all their ad revenue to blind deaf orphans. You know, otherwise that would be sorta… hypocritical, right?
I am dull. I’m going to go ahead and suggest that “dull” is rather subjective. This not one of those blogs in which I oh-so-cleverly snarks about other people’s lives without offering up anything of my own — except, of course, wherein The Five Funniest Things I do While Drunk and/or High passes for disclosure. It’s a personal blog, full of disclosure. It’s going to be self-serving and really self-involved and maybe even dull. And I’m so totally cool with that.
Anyway, I was saying that Shiv and I watched Garden State, which was as impressive as I was led to believe. And in it, someone who is not Zack Braff — after the Peppermint Schnapps and the red wine, I can’t be expected to remember anyone that is not Zach Braff — says,
“You know, I’m okay with being unimpressive. I sleep better.”
While not exactly my sentiments, it speaks to the point that, whether you be critic or comrade, I’m not doing this to impress you. That’d be too much pressure. So unlike the last time these self-appointed critics reared their ugly heads, I can actually see the ridiculous for what it is. And I don’t feel overly inclined to take much of it to heart. I still care, but not nearly as much. And I sleep better.
I can testify to the fact that H. did not, in fact, sleep with the Bloggies committee. Or at least if she did, she skipped me.
i dont care what those critics say, you def. belong there!
FWIW, whether or not you mean to, you do impress some of us.
And BTW, congrats on the nom. If someone’s writing to tell you that they hate you, then you’re doing your job: telling the truth, in your inimitable style.
Hi, I am very impressed despite what you have said. Smoth flow of thoughts.
I have said this before – you rock. out of all the millions of blogs out there in the world – there in ONLY ONE BLOG that has me checking it daily, only one blog where I sigh in disappointment if it is not updated, only ONE blog wherein I get giddy and pull up my chair to read it: yours. that says a lot since im a crazy litigator all day and night, and yet you are part of my daily routine – right after i check my westlaw updates.
thank you – please ignore the stupid nay-sayers. they do not know of what they speak.
I totally agree that you belong on the list, that’s why I voted for you.
I check your blog before I check my email in the morning! That’s got to say something
Jealousy makes ‘em nasty
Unimpressive? Based on the number of hits I’m guessing that this site gets a day, I’d say that there are a whole lot of people who are are border-line addicted to being unimpressed …
You got my vote. You get my daily website hit. You go girl!
You’ve gotta ignore the hataz. Open another bottle of expensive wine, happy in the knowledge that everyone who really counts loves you.
As a relative newcomer to the blog world, I have wasted a inordinate amount of time the past weeks reading lots of blogs and there are only 3 that I have been added to my daily read, “This Fish” being #1 on my list. Like a reader above posted I read this blog BEFORE I read my email, especially my work email, and find myself checking back periodically during the day to see how The Fish’s day is going. You go Girl and don’t let the bastards get you down. Most of them wouldn’t know pithy comments if they bit them in the arse…
I love your sense of humour and the way you tell stories. I find that what you write about and the way you write it is much like a stand up comedian… everyday happenings with just a little extra insight. Good stuff! Seeing what a blog can become, really makes me work hard on my own.. well will make me work hard it’s still new!
Keep it up!
*thumbsup* Good Girl *thumbsup*
… I’m older than you so I can call you Girl
BTW … you do belong on that list!
well put. if people don’t like your writing or style or what you have to say, they don’t have to read it, or even comment negatively.
congrats on your nomination, it is well deserved!
(ps-i voted for you)
A. I fully endorse all the above, and I did vote for you, as well. you, do, indeed, rock, Miss.
B. Who ever said long noses weren’t beautifull? I happen to think they’re sexy and refined, but perhaps I’ve got quirky tastes… yet how did Sarah Jessica Parker become a sex symbol with her schnoz, neh?
As you can see from the others who, like me, read your blog before anything else, you DO belong on that list. Grab that glass of wine and honor the idiots who disagree with a “shut the hell up” toast.
“This song will totally change your life.” If you haven’t already heard or gotten the soundtrack to Garden State, I highly recommend it.
Glad to see you handling the criticism well. Sometimes all you can do is shrug.
I slept with the stupid committee. All of them, even that ugly woman who picks her nose, and look what it got me: jack shit.
unless you count the vd.
Fish, I’ve got you in the “big nose” rubric. I so have you.
You know what they say about men with big noses. We go through twice the tissues in winter time.
You rock! Go, Fish, go!
P.S. Where’s that g.d. IPOD? Has it been confiscated at the border, in China? Those crazy Commie kids and their totalitarian system.
You know they wouldn’t have said those things about you if you were a MAN, don’t you? I mean, what does your nose have to do with any of this anyway? (BTW, your nose looks fine to me.)
You just keep right on, girl – you do, in fact, rock.
i voted for you, and i think you rock.
I had been under the impression that my boyfriend and I were The Last Two Reasonable People to Have Seen Garden State, but even we got to it last week. Totally unimpressed.
You should try frangelico in your hot chocolate. I was a firm believer in schnappes, but I’m a total convert now.
Hang in there and keep posting your “dull” writings for all of us who are totally enthralled by them. You do belong on the list, probably more so than any of the other nominees.
As for the comments about your physical features, I cannot say anything other than that from what I see in that little photo over there on the right, you are a very attractive woman.
If all that is unimpressive, then you just keep on being what you are!
I think personal disclosure is v. impressive. It’s the hardest thing for many to do.
Since when do critics know anything?
First I think you have to be depressive to be impressed by Garden State people who haven’t been there just don’t get it.
As for the critics well you they say opinions are like assholes..everybody has one and I’m sure if they took a long hard look at their life they wouldn’t be that impressed either.
Love you Fish I am a definite fan.
Darling Fish! You DO belong on the list – no question whatsoever, and anyone who disagrees should be flogged. As far as any of the other stuff, who gives a rat’s petootie??? Let them get their own blog, and when they do, see if they even get noticed let alone nominated!
Hope you feel better soon!!
your blog is the first thing i read every single day, and if I do say so myself, I have damn fine taste. Those critics can go to hell! I think you, your writing, your stories and your humor are fantastic! Keep on doing what you’re doing, and know that you bring a smile to this reader’s face every day!
The publicity never hurts. I’m a first-time reader to your blog. A Fish-Virgin, if you will. So far, so good. I like your writing, your fresh style and hope you do well with the awards thing.
I’ll read a bit more before I decide how addictive you are and then let you know.
BTW, before anyone else spills the beans, I’m a condescending prick, but try to be fair nonetheless.LOL!
D.
If you’re dull, what does that make me? I’m a stay at home mom, with a 10 month old. I just recently started blogging, and I’m hooked on yours. The baby can cry for a minute while Mommy checks to see if you’ve updated anything. What can I say, I guess dull people just like dull things to read to make their dull days better. Please keep boring me to death. I voted for you too.
Hi, this isn’t Will. Why bother responding to people who tear you down?
Oh, and to jaime, you may want to attend to the baby first… just a suggestion. The blog will still be there, while the baby may have a little issue that could be an emergency…
If you’d slept with the bloggies committee, there wouldn’t have even been any other nominees. They’d have given you all of em. Best new, lifetime achievement, best latin american, best community….
What a crock of shit! People will always talk shit no matter what the circumstances or consequences. Jealousy is a main reason. I can’t even believe the crap some people say! Fish, I started reading your blog a couple of months back. It’s been great. You’re an excelent writer that should some day write a book or something. You’re insightful and witty and most of all, you’re genuine. What more do people want?
I voted for you too, because I enjoy your writing, and someone out there agreed enough with those of us who enjoy this site that they nominated you.
Those who are hating are only jealous. Just keep being you, and here’s to hoping you win and show them all!!
You know what else is outrageously good in hot cocoa? Grand Marnier. (I think that’s the right spelling). The yummy orange liquer. It’s like those orange-chocolates you whack on the counter and get slices of orange shaped chocolate, but better, cause with enough of them you can get buzzed.
With whipped cream, of course, not marshmallows– the homemade whipped cream if possible. (Easy– just need a copper bowl).
Also, a writer I loved as a teen (Piers Anthony) had a metaphoric literal thing with puns in his books. He had these magic creatures called “Crit-Ticks”– they were bloodsucking insects that couldn’t do anything themselves but liked to go after everyone else’s accomplishements. You just gotta smash them, then burn them with a match to make sure they’re dead, like all buggy vermin.
What’s with the ad hominem attacks? People, if you don’t like a blog, at least don’t use a logical fallacy as your reasoning. Idiots.
THEY DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY’RE TALKING ABOUT, those evil, critical trolls.
Your post also makes me realize I am happy to be undercover (I am a fellow Bloggie nominee for Best European). As a friend of mine said, “it keeps the trolls away.”
Carry on. You have my vote.
You. Impress. Me.
I’m from a small town and I LOVE to read about the girl in the BIG city. The things you write about remind me that even though I live in a small town, I can imagine living in big city. Please keep telling us all about it!
If you’re not going to be affected by the asshats how am I going to fill up the Robert Service Memorial Gulag for Web Trolls, hmmmmm? It’s winter, there’s snow to be shoveled, firewood to be split, ice to be chopped and melted. Do you expect me to do all this manual labour myself? Sheesh.
Voted for you, nuff said.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, can’t you feel the love out here? Who gives a shit about some jealous asshole…
You kids and your orange liqueurs…
I think some Brenda Ueland is in need here. Who cares what your critics say?
To quote Ueland, from If You Want To Write:
This creative power and imagination is in everyone and so is the need to express it, i.e., to share it with others. But what happens to it?
It is very tender and sensitive, and it is usually drummed out of people early in life by criticism (so-called “helpful criticism” is often the worst kind), by teasing, jeering, rules, prissy teachers, critics, and all those unloving people who forget that the letter killeth and the spirit giveth life. Sometimes I think of life as a process where everybody is discouraging and taking everybody else down a peg or two.
And again here:
It is our nasty tewntieth century materialism that makes us feel: what is the use of writing, painting, etc., unless one has an audience or gets cash for it? Socrates and the men of the Renaissance did so much because the rewards were intrinsic, i.e., the enlargement of the soul.
You write to tell your truth, and because it’s good for you. You put it online because it’s nice to be part of a community.
Fuck your critics and the horse they rode in on. They’re useless and unimportant, and you’ve said as much in your reply to their criticisms.
Good for you.
I lost my italics in the paragraph that begins with “it is very tender…” I didn’t want anyone to mistake those words for mine.
Carry on.
btw, did you catch Friday’s USA Today crossword? Good one!
thanks for the link Fishy and best of luck on the Bloggy – we won for music site two years ago and it was instrumental in helping to get the word out, especailly among the mainstream media
Checking in daily from new mexico. Because I finally feel guilty about just lurking and not offering support. Because of thisfish, I no longer feel compelled to buy magazines to keep up with the life I left behind in NY five years ago…
congrats on the nomination, you deserve it.
PS. The Shins (of now Garden State fame) originally hail from albuquerque, nm
Aaah don’t listen to ‘em! You are writing a great blog and you are beautiful. There always has to be someone to tear down and it’s usually those at the top. Good luck girl!
completely having nothing to do with the blog critics — i just wanted to say that I absolutely loved The Moviegoer — especially having been a visitor to New Orleans for so many years and loving it. enjoy your read! +m
You’ve got my vote, Fish. Your blog rocks!
I slept with the Bloggie people, but it didn’t work:)
Poop on the critics!
Wait, I meant that as a statement, not a suggestion:)
Saw Greek Tragedy’s latest post with photos in which you were prominently featured – Heather, you look gorgeous in those pics!
Firstly: you rock. You have never let the bastards get you down before so why start now? Secondly: there will always be small-minded,nasty people out there, the trick is to be better than them (and by that I mean not stooping to their level or even giving them page-space). Success IS the best revenge.
I just read your response to my response on Brando’s blog. Just wanted to say there’s no hard feelings. He was writing about this fish and I had a this fish story. I should have realized what pond I was swimming in before posting.
I was pleasantly surprised when I saw you on the list! Usually there aren’t any blogs that I think are great that are up for awards.
Dont let those unfair critical people get to you. If a girl can’t have her own personal blog to let the world know what’s going on in her sphere, without having a bunch of people jump all over it and call her names, then maybe we need to revaluate things, I’d say. But on a personal note, your blog really inspires me, and, I think, a lot of others of us who might be vilified for not thinking “girly” is a dirty word.
Hey H, your sister told me about your blog and I had to say hi. I really enjoy your wit, and now that I’m not such a little girl anymore, I can even handle your sarcasm without tears!(though its been a while since its been directed at me) Hehe, you really did scare the crap out of me when I was younger. I haven’t seen you in forever, but I want you to know that you’re a terrific writer and well basically you kick Ass. P.S. I found a good poem that I think your self-deprecating humor might suffer for a moment from, but it might possibly be appreciated and then you can get back to it! It perfectly describes a person who might THINK they have a big nose, or might THINK they have to wear pointy hurtie shoes to work but when it really comes down to it, the person all dressed up, or sick on the couch by herself with no guard, is freakin hot. Cheers!
A texan who knows and loves ya.
My Love in Her Attire
by Author Unknown
My love in her attire doth show her wit,
It doth so well become her:
For every season she hath dressings, fit,
For winter, spring, and summer.
No beauty she doth miss,
When all her robes are on:
But Beauty’s self she is,
When all her robes are gone.
god, i thought it was just me. sorry — yet glad in a weird “you are not alone” way — to hear i’m not the only one getting raked across the coals of ickiness.
*sigh*
people. what can you do? can’t kill ‘em.
um…right?
anyway, fingers crossed for you over here, fish. go get ‘em, on behalf of all of us little blogs that could out here!