Our AC went out.

And contrary to my normally frugal nature, I don’t care if it costs every penny I (and my future children) will ever make to get it working again, because that is how much I would pay for it not to be 85 degrees in my house at 11:00 at night.

We learned fairly quickly that I would have made a very cranky pioneer.

Yesterday was my 33rd birthday and although it started out rather tenuously (oh, hi cat barf), it picked up some steam with cards and lunch with a friend  and dinner with my husband and video birthday greetings from the cutest sibling spawn there ever was.

Happy Birthday from Penny, age 1 year, 9 months

Happy Birthday from Owen, age 2 years, 9 months

And since my birthday was marked erroneously on the office calendar, we’re celebrating today, too. A birthday extension! Which, aside from increased cake consumption and revelry, might give my own parents some extra time to, you know, actually acknowledge it. Here’s to Thirty-three! The year of managed expectations!

Saturday night, everything was as it usually is. The in-laws took us to dinner and then we sat around the living room chatting and listening to the beasts wear a path up and down the hall. Kathumpthumpthump Hal chases Midge. Kathumpthumpthump Midge chases Hal. Any quiet in between meant someone was getting pinned and given the what for. The evening ended with Hal asleep in my lap, purring and drooling.

Sunday, though, everything was just plain wrong. I wiggled my way under the bed to where Hal was hiding, wondering, why was he acting so strangely, hunched over like that? It was because he was trying so hard to breathe. I listened to the rasping sound of his painfully deliberate breathing and burst into tears. Fifteen minutes later, we were at the Emergency Animal Clinic. I handed the Boy my purse and climbed out of the car.

“Oh, no.”

I looked over from the cat carrier to the Boy who was standing on the hot concrete holding my now shattered iPhone.

“I’m so sorry,” he said.

“It really doesn’t matter.”

It really didn’t. I just couldn’t care about it.

The woman at the front desk whisked Hal away the moment we stepped inside. Respiratory distress. When the vet appeared briefly to talk to us some time later, he suggested that Midge could have brought the illness into the house. I clarified that she’d been with us more than six weeks, that neither cat had been outdoors and that both cats have been given clean bills of health regarding the scary cat-to-cat diseases (no FIV, no FeLV). He shrugged, unconcerned, gave us antibiotics and sent us on our way.

I left poorer and totally unsatisfied.

I spent most of the afternoon napping under bed, next to Hal who dozed on the heating pad I’d dragged there for him. His ears burned from fever and his breath was ragged, but he purred loudly as I rubbed his head. Which, naturally, made me feel worse. I kind of wished he’d have blown snot on me and told me what a horrible cat mother I was. By Monday morning, he was up and about acting as though nothing had happened, but I’m not buying it. Both cats are headed back to the vet for a full work up and I’m not leaving with any stupid shrug as the answer to why my cat couldn’t breathe.  Ugh.

For those of you who don’t have Flash, hop on over to Mercedes Morgan for some wedding pics and a bit o’ narrative.

For those who have been asking about costs, here you go. The magical breakdown of the DIY Budget Wedding with 60 guests.

The Bride – $845

• Seamstress, Becky the Most Awesome Fowler: $175
• Fabric, Hansson of Guilford: $475
• Shoes, DSW : $70
• Earrings, Macy’s:  $25
• Necklace: $0 (bought in the Pearl District in NYC years ago)
• Hair, Angie O’Neill: $100

Note: The cost of the dress fabric takes into account conversion from US Dollar to British Pound. Guess which one is worth more? Lots more? Were you to have this dress made with fabric bought in the US, you could do so for around $250.

The Groom – $380

• Tie, Macy’s: $50
• Shirt, Suit & Alterations, Macy’s: $180
• Shoes, DSW: $150
• Hair, Angie O’Neill: $0 (haircut given as a wedding gift)

Bridal Party – $890

• Dudes Ties, Macy’s: $115
• Ladies Antique Brooches, Austin Antique Mall: $180
• Maid of Honor Shoes, DSW: $70
• Maid of Honor Dress: $0 (think my mom bought it for her)
• Maid of Honor Gift, Candle Spa: $175
• Best Man Tie, Macy’s: $50
• Best Man Gift, Palomar Hotel Suite: $300

Food & Serving Items – $630

• Cake, Society Bakery: $30
• Groom’s Cookies, Mother of the Groom: $0 (kindly provided by his mama)
• Cupcakes, Central Market: $40
• Fruit Trays & Baguettes, Central Market: $130
• Antipasto, Jimmy’s: $130
• Meatballs & Tea Sandwiches, My Brother: $125
• Beer, Random Liquor Store: $115
• Napkins & Plates, Sam’s Club: $35
• Bamboo Toothpicks, Party City: $25
• Cake Stands, Chafing Dishes & Porcelain Trays: $0 (owned/borrowed)

Note: We could have gotten away with spending far less on beer (like, half) and we could possibly have had too much food, though I’m not certain since my mother took about 40% of it home.

Venue & Decorations – $3,755

• Winery, Wine & Staff, Times Ten Cellars: $3,575
• Flowers, Whole Foods: $125
• Floral Ribbon/Wire, Michael’s: $25
• Votive Candles, Target: $30

Note: Rates for evenings are far more expensive, so we opted to host an afternoon affair at a savings of $1700. Also, it turns out people don’t drink nearly as much in the afternoon. Our wine bill (by consumption) came in a few hundred under budget and we had an insane amount of leftover beer. Cases of it. Votive candle holders we reused from my sister-in-law’s wedding. Toss ‘em in the freezer, pop out the frozen wax and voila!

Miscellaneous Expenses

• Marriage License, Dallas County: $71
• Invitations, Save the Dates and Thank You Notes, The Paper Guppy: Kindly donated by Maura at The Paper Guppy.
• Postage, USPS: $150
• Photographer, Mercedes Morgan: I won’t even tell you. Out of compassion, she cut us such a stellar deal, even driving from Austin to do it.
• Minister, Neil Moseley: I believe it is customary to give the minister $100. We also let Neil and his wife Elizabeth watch our house and cat while we were on the honeymoon. You know, like as a tip.
• Gas, ExxonMobil: One billion dollars. I kid. But seriously, the week of the wedding, I filled up my tank three times.

Please note that in general, dollar amounts have been rounded up and most include tax.

When people ask if the wedding was wonderful, I hear myself say, “Yes!” followed by, “mostly.” Mostly it was wonderful. Really wonderful.

The day was overcast and so we simply turned out all the lights and had the ceremony by candlelight. It was gorgeous. I walked down the aisle to Sinead O’Connor’s “In This Heart” and it sounded like a hymn (we recessed to Dean Martin’s “That’s Amore!” followed by Doris Day’s “Que Sera Sera,” in honor of my beloved Sarah Brown, who could not be with us).

We bought the flowers the night before from Whole Foods and made all the bouquets from fresh, bright hydrangea. Also gorgeous. The cake was a plain 8″ round from Society Bakery that I put a leftover bloom on at the last minute. I can’t imagine doing any differently. Central market made the fruit tray, Jimmy’s made the anitpasto. Both, perfection. My brother made the hot food and crustless sandwiches and they were exceptional.

Also exceptional was Neil’s officiating. The ceremony was short and so very touching. So personal. A benefit of having known each other since we were 15, I suppose. The Dork Lord’s mother provided the groom’s cookies (a surprise to my new husband who loves nothing more than his mother’s ridiculous chocolate chip cookies). They are crack. Sweet, sweet crack.  That we forgot a cake knife and resorted to cutting the wedding cake with my brother’s switchblade (he’s a cop – that’s how he rolls. Also, with a gun in his crotch, but we didn’t require that) was undeniably awesome.

I’m about to launch a post – password protected – about the not-so-awesome parts of throwing a wedding, and should you feel inclined, drop me an email (sorry guys – I cannot get email addresses out of comments. You’ll have to send me an email – click on the envelope icon up there) and I’ll send you the password. I figure, if I want to moderate the kind of response I get from unabashed public whining, I should simply moderate how public it is. You see.

Here, at last, as some photos, a la Mercedes Morgan. I will apologize in advance that the slideshow is in Flash. I meant to take time to learn some new technology to code something more iPhone/iPad friendly, but I ran out of time and steam. I hope you enjoy – as you can see by the photos (which are heavy on the candid, light on the posed), we certainly did!

Ta da!

(Aside 1: In retrospect, I should have whittled these down a bit more, but whatever – you’re bored at work! I know you are! Aside 2: My brother’s little girl – so effing cute. Aside 3: My maid of honor/sister is maybe the most beautiful person in any room)

So many, many thanks to everyone who made it wonderful and for all the well-wishing.