I started a post about the varied and interesting characters I see on the Katy Trail in the mornings – the Giantess, the heavy-set man who sweats Rorschach tests into his gray t-shirt, and the Adonis of the Katy Trail (or Donny, as we’ve come to call him), but then I got distracted. Lost my train of thought completely. And just like that, the title of this post went from “Trail Mix” to “Boob Jog.”
This has to be what men feel like – having their senses take leave over a pair of boobs.
And today? My boobs look amazing. Simply amazing. I admired the ladies in the mirror this morning before I left to run errands. Hello, darlings. And then, as I was walking into CVS just now, I caught my reflection in the automatic doors.
“Holy shit!”
I said this out loud, not caring in the slightest if anyone within earshot took offense to my language or my unabashed vanity. After all, there they were, sitting atop my rib cage, peeking over the top of my tank looking perky and, with each step, bouncing just so. A sight to behold. Even the pharmacy patrons had to be enjoying the view. I mean, they’re like Halle Berry boobs. Only, pre-pregnancy and with not-quite-as-ravishing skin. But you get the idea.
Jamie and I have been diligently (and daily) working our way up and down The Katy (I’m prepping myself for Cinque Terre) and after all this work (seven miles! every day!) I’d expected to see a little change in my thighs. And maybe my butt. You know, the parts that the slimming of makes you dig into your bottom drawer for those jeans you can only hope to wear after a good bout of food poisoning. But I completely forgot about the effects those long miles could have on the rest of my 2,000 parts. Like, my waist. And my ta-tas.
Phenomenal I tell you. If only I had somewhere to show these off.
hooray for you for getting some amazing (and unexpected) results. something spectacular HAS to come from running 7 miles every day… you crazy. i can barely get up my 3 flights of stairs without cursing my decision to live on the 3rd floor. vaulted ceilings ain’t all that.
Wow, 7 miles…every day? Just, wow.
Well, nothing like seeing results somewhere to keep motivation up, lols!
Maybe I should add running to my workout schedule (which is pretty low-maintenance as of right now, just yoga classes).
Stop, you’re hurting us.
perhaps i should take up jogging… since the last guy i was with decided to tell a a close friend of mine that i had the breasts of a 50-year-old woman.
gotta love men.
Congrats on the 7 miles!! Unforetunately, I did 7 miles a day the past few months trying to firm up the old thighs, too. But, in the process of firming them up, I had to buy bigger jeans b/c muscle is denser than fat and my jeans were too tight in the thighs. Not quite the result I expected!!LOL!!Kudos to ou and keep up the great work. P.S. I dropped down to 3 miles a day!
I only experience great boobs when I get fatter…hmmm
Hello! I just wanted to say a big THANK YOU for your Relationship Resolutions. I read them every once in awhile when I need a pick up me up and this week have read them about 243 times and counting. Thanks for the inspiration!
I’m so jealous. Mine get smaller with exercise… I lost weight over the weekend and what shrinks? My girls, dang it.
Cinque Terre is amazing! I don’t mean to de-motivate you, but it’s definitely nothing that requires 7-mile-run style training, but it’s beautiful and exhilarating (cheesy as that sounds). I studied abroad in Verona last semester so saw a lot of Europe/Italy–but it remains one of my favorite weekends.
Have a great trip!
Sweet reward – I will have to try it, once my ankle heals and my body recovers from falling down my own stairs….
Seriously, though, are you doing anything else? Like weights, gym workouts, pushups, yoga, etc.? I’ll try anything at this point – I would kill to have boobs like those of a hot movie star (as opposed to one over the age of 70….)
yeah, uh, mine look like that too once i drag them up and stuff em in a bra! ha ha ha. wait till you have kids
enjoy those titties, girl! eat it up.
Cinque Terre is one of my favourite spots I’ve ever visited. The memory that sticks out the most for me however, is almost dying while hiking to the next village because unlike you I didn’t prepare before going. Congrats on thinking ahead. You will have a GREAT time!
Great post!
You’ll do fine in Cinque Terre, the hike actually isn’t bad. Just remember that the westernmost stretch between Monterosso and Vernazza is by far the most killer, so I’d do that first, or on another day entirely. But if my 60 year-old dad can do the entire length, so can a girl with fabulous boobs.
You have a place! **THE INTERNET.** duh.
doesn’t mike post here anymore? i miss him…. i’d figure: boobs = cute comment? no?!
Awesome! Isn’t it great when we decide to appreciate what we have? And I think you can show them off in London. Nothing like a nice British accent to sweep a girl off her feet!
P.S. I love London even more than New York.
I was never able to admire my own breasts until a guy I was sleeping with said “you must wake up every day and look in the mirror and think how beautiful your breasts are.” So now I do
Cinque Terre is one of my favorite places. Enjoy! And while the main trail won’t require very much training, if you plan to do any trails in the Cinque Terre National Forest (worth a day) you’ll appreciate the prep!! To get up there, you hike up (stairs) through the hillside, through people’s gardens and vineyards – beautiful and steep. There were 80 yr-olds giving us a run for our money
Just watch out for the wild boar in the forest (seriously)…you might practice your tree climbing skills!
Moshizzle,
My husband has been saying the same thing to me about my breasts for the past 23 years, and he claims they’re still as beautiful as when he met me as a 26-year old. So (do the
math) apparently almost-50-year old boobs can be just as nice as the younger ones. So there!
PS I’ve had kids, but do Pilates 2X week. maybe it helps?
wait – so working out has been *better* for your boobs? tell me all your secrets. pec exercises?
Here’s one good way to show them off, and be philanthropic at the same time:
http://www.save2ndbase.com/
Fish, why don’t you post a pic of yourself so that we can see you in all of your Lovely Glory?
Cinque Terra is AMAZING!! Pack extra socks so you can change them along the way and flip flops to put on at the end of the day and make sure to stop in the fifth, town, totally blanking on the name, and get dessert and sit on the beach!
I need more details! When I do a lot of cardio, I lost fat, hence losing boob. How and what are you doing to gain boobage while doing so much cardio? Are you doing weights or extra yoga too? Help me, oh freak of nature!
YES DO TELL!!! I have no boobs and I would love to learn what youre doing to make them bigger!
Two months ago I was told that ivillage was no longer paying for blog content,
Is this true?
Not so far as I know.
Cardio alone won’t shrink your thighs, etc. You need to incorporate resistance (weight) training into your workouts. And some of the previous posters are correct; eventually, you’ll start losing breast size. You won’t find too many elite female athletes with natural size “C”s or bigger. They vacated the premises with the fat! Although you will find plenty with ones that came with a payment plan!
Well, I hate to tell ya, but cardio alone HAS shrunk my thighs. A whole jeans size. So, um, yeah. I guess that’s not exactly a universal truth.
And I don’t think it’s that my boobs got bigger, my ribcage and waist are slimmer, so they just look better.
Fish, Ivillage must’ve not gotten around to telling you. Notice GrrlGenius is missing??? I’ll email you what she sent to me.
On the contrary. They just renewed my contract.
Enough of this, please.
I stand corrected. I should have said to continually make noticeable progress you should integrate weight/cross training. Congrats despite my faux pas.
How many people can say they went to Europe and actually lost weight?! I haven’t been reading your blog for long, but once again, you prove to be quite amazing.
I’m actually winded thinking about the whole 7 miles thing. Way to go!
Congrats! If you need an outlet to show them off, feel free to email pics to…… =)
I love after complaining about the Cinque Terra hike, everyone else said it was easy. Apparently, I’m lazier than I thought.
You go!
By the way, that “Save 2nd Base” link that someone posted was awesome. I bought a shirt.
You’re welcome! A sorority sister sent me the link, and I just think it’s hilarious.
Awesome. Wish you wouldve accompanied me to the vh1 hip-hop honors last Thurs. to show em off. Or at least accompanied me.