I returned to the office after my lunch break, stopping at the hall closet to leave my coat.
“Aha!” Miriam said, pointing a long finger at me from the doorway of the accounting office. “Who vas zat?”
“Who was what?” I unwound my scarf and draped it over a hanger.
“I saw zhu!” Miriam said. She was being playful.
I replied in Spanish — something about her being half crazy — and then asked what the hell she was talking about.
Miriam put on a little skit. She tossed her hair flirtatiously and perched on one leg as she kissed an imaginary someone (a tall someone) on the cheek.
“Zhu know. At zee library.”
“Oh! You mean Stuart. My friend’s husband.”
She dropped playful as the look on her face became suddenly very stern. Hands flew to hips. Eyebrows knitted.
“Heazzer. No.”
I laughed from the deepest part of my belly.
“Miriam! I was giving him something to take to his wife! We’re not having an affair!”
She stood there, mothering me with her posture.
“Besides? I was gone ELEVEN minutes.”
“Zat ees all it takes!” she said and spinning on her heel, disappeared into the office.
I relayed the story to Krissa and Stuart tonight at some point during our date at Dylan’s Candy Bar. The three of pushing plastic spoons through gooey sundaes sharing a gossip, ice cream and a few laughs. Krissa, of course remained unthreatened by my rendezvous with her beloved. When we parted an hour or so later (after ravaging the bulk candy bins), our heads were buzzing from sugar highs. It then occurred to me, that if I were going to get into any kind of trouble with Stuart, it was much more likely to have something to do with lockjaw and an Everlasting Gobstopper contest. And those things last WAY more than eleven minutes.
Oh come on, what did you say to her in Spanish?
“Oye, putita…esta loca?”
i love how you try to show the accent…that’s always the funniest part of the post…the only other person i know who does that is brando at one child left behind when he’s writing what his romanian wife said…simply hilarious
have a great weekend!
I thought that story was humorous
Hi babe. I really liked your blog and keep reading it once in a while. Mind to link back to me as you do with your folks? I will really appreciate it. Be nice, be cool!
ak – if ONLY I could do it justice the way Brando does! I ADORE those posts.
Haha, too cute
! Love the accent.
Besides, what would you & Stuart have been doing for the other nine minutes?
That is seriously freaky. I’m out in CA, but someone where I work uses a Dylan’s Candy Bar bag to bring their lunch, and I wondered to myself if you ever go there, since you’re the only person I “know” in New York.
{Think Sally Field here}
You linked me! You really linked me!!!
Gracias, Fish-ee. Super sweet of ya..*kisses*
Plantation.
What street is Dylan’s Candy Bar? Is it a must visit?
Brando and I share the same Mother Country. I have to skaddadle over to his joint and read more stuff. Thanks for the re-direction.
WATCH IT GOLDNER.
I totally ate all of that Atomic Fireball without taking it out, too.
Apart from when Krissa stole it for a second to see what it tasted like.
It was like Aftershock, that fiery cinnamon daredevil shot stuff which, through excessive consumption, I more or less became immune to at university…
also?
Watch it Goldner.
You will note the restrained British lack of capitals.
Did you ever read the book “why girls are weird?” It is sort of strange but reminds me of your blog. Just a thought
Nina darling, everyone is weird.
Just another thought. There are a lot of them about.
I heard it takes Stuart 11 minites too. If he wants to do it twice that is …
Haha I’m with ya on the meeting up with friends’ partners and them bieng totally unthreatened. My hubby calls his line manager his “work wife” after he came to the realization that he probably spent more waking time with her than with me. So when she calls I say “its your other wife” but thankfully I’m not in the least bit threatened by her.
Oh and damn now im hungry for icecream!!!
You seem like a very nice fish and I would trust you with my husband…oh wait I don’t have one! I would trust you with my boyfriend though, even though I’m not sure if I would trust him. That’s not good is it??
I really enjoy reading your posts. I just read your areticle in the NY Times. It read like a good book, I wasn’t ready to put down! (This is my first time here, but you’ll be one of my regular reads here on out!) Just wanted to say I enjoy your site.
If Miriam goes on a sugar-free diet, watch out…