Will be seeing J for dinner tomorrow night…shamefully, at my invite. All reason says to abandon the J Project and spend time on other, more worth-while pursuits (field hockey, quilting, or acquisition of miscellaneous body piercings). However, emotion and reason being two very different things, it simply cannot be helped. Also it cannot be helped that I am still quite in love with said Project.
J does not NOT want me (has been established quite beyond doubt), yet clearly does not want yours truly exactly enough to make any needed adjustments. I’m turning out to be very sad story. Pathetic.
Would be quite another thing if J would simply say, “I don’t want you.” Then Icould cry for a good long (very long) time and never date again. What would be the point?
Can tell I’m facing another birthday.
