Brought to you by the letters R and J and by the number 3.
Immediately after making plans with Rachel on Tuesday for the following night, the thought occurred to me: I have no clean clothes.
No play-clothes, any way. All jeans that did not fall into the Fat Clothes and You’ll Never Be This Skinny Again categories, or those which were purchased after 1994 (I have a hard time letting go) were lying in a pile next to my closet. Next to the linens. Next to the lights. On top of the darks. So it had been a while since I’d spent any quality time at the laundromat? I’m a busy girl!
Realizing I wasn’t going to be unbusy anytime soon, I caved. Gathering everything up, and squishing clothing into separate bags with appropriate labels (do not dry & bleach, please) I carted all thirty-seven pounds to the wash-n-fold downstairs. Task completed. They’d be ready by the next afternoon.
Closed due to an emergency.
That’s what the sign said when I went to reclaim my 37 pounds the next afternoon. Closed. I stood there in my work clothes, listening to thunder break around me and considered my options. That took all of thirty seconds. There were no options. You know, unless this was a pajama party we were going to. A quick phone call to Rachel confirmed that no, it was not one of those lingerie events I’ve been dying to go attend. It was your standard, come dressed in clothes you purchased in this millennium, regular party. And I was shit out of luck.
And on day three, I’m sitting at my desk in jeans normally reserved for house-cleaning, wondering if “emergency” really means “out-of-business” and if I will ever see my clothes again. A new sign promises they’ll be open this afternoon. I have my doubts.
Eventually, I’m going to have to go out into decent society again and I suspect the Lady Godiva thing might not go over so well. I do have the hair for it, though. Hmmm…
I have been planning a lingerie event you may attend…
by lingerie event you mean that lingerie pillow fight fantasy that guys are always talking about?
desperate times call for desperate measures….you NEED to go shopping
I’m sure that the Lady Godiva look would suit you just fine, dear.
best of luck with the laundromat! otherwise I think a shopping trip is in need!
i’m not normally this forward, but i’d like to accompany you to goldner’s lingerie event. (goldner better turn out to be a hot chick…google results were inconclusive)
Buy a few basics, save the reciept and insist the laundry reimburse you. Imtimate you may need to contact the BBB if they give you a hard time.
Oh no, Tanya. I could never do that! They’re so good to me and always, always take the best care of my clothes. But if they’re not open this afternoon, I just may do something along those lines.
I think this story definitely falls into the absolutely hysterical, but not exactly so funny right this moment category. So sorry about your dilema! May I suggest a shopping trip. When will you ever have a better excuse?
Oh my, I meant dilemMa. (I’m a childhood spelling bee champion. I couldn’t let that rest.)
once i was completely out of clean clothes so for about 2 weeks i bought new undies and socks everyday for the following day knowing that i wouldn’t have time to do wash…
i am reluctant to let other people touch my stuff.
what a wonderful excuse to have to go shopping for more clothes!
Well that sucks. Free Fish’s Clothes!!!!!!
i don’t do laundry until i start getting close to running out of panties. i have so many clothes that i think i could clothe an army. the worst thing about it, is that if i can’t find something to wear – i just go shopping!
I don’t know how you are not MORE freaked out
You always got your fish tees! LOL
“Closed due to an emergency” = “Gone to eBay your clothes”
Don’t worry about the sign. I had that happen to me once. The place I went was run by one little old lady. She was there 6 days a week always by herself. Took the orders, did the sewing, etc. Come to find out after a week of being closed, her brother had passed away and she had flown to Hong Kong for the funeral. It was so sudden that she had just hopped in a plane and gone and later called the shoe repair place next door to put up a sign. She came back and clothes were fine.
What a coincidence, I’ve actually been thinking about using a laundry service to make my life a bit easier, but after reading this I’m a little freaked out! lol. That’s some mighty messed up Qi you’ve got there.
Hope you get your clothes back!
This is the great opprunity to treat yourself to some new clothes!
I’m glad that I’m not the only one with the different categories of clothing – and multiple sizes in the closet. And I ditto the “baby, time for shopping” anthem.
Solution: go shopping! I think that shopping is an absolutely viable excuse in this situation.
Maybe this was the Universe’s way to make you finally let go?
This was one of my worst nightmares for years. Ugh. Now I have to check your site even more fanatically to see when they turn up!
hey fish,
love the blog, in fact you inspired me to start my own. would you mind recipro-linking?
http://citybex.blogspot.com
thanks!
oh and definately go shopping, or find someone with great fashion sense to borrow from.
Hey, thanks for recipro linking me!
Fish where are you? Wandering around naked?
Young lady, get back here and put some clothes on!
Sounds like it is time to break out at least 3 credit cards and get to shopping!
That’s when I go to my “backup clothes”. The clothes I bought thinking I liked them, and didn’t and hence never wear them, and hence they are never dirty.
And sometimes they are not all that bad. Sometimes. Sometimes they are purple.
I wish there was someone I could bring my laundry to downstairs. All I have downstairs is a damp, smelly Minnesota basement. I used to do a lot of tie dyeing, so I have my own washing machine – it is one of those really super large capacity Maytag machines. It rumbles and bumps against the big concrete mop sink when I load it too full. When I moved into my apartment, they forgot to balance the feet and every time the washer would spin, it started to walk its way across the room and strain at its hoses. I had to take the feet off.
At my house, there isn’t a laundry elf waiting to wash my clothes. Maybe I should try to reach into the pages of a Harry Potter book and try to bring out Dobby. I wouldn’t mind paying him to do my laundry, and he could have all of my spare socks – the ones that the dryer has eaten the mates of. Dobby likes socks, they’re his favorite clothes.
I’ve blogrolled you, fish, you’re fabulous. Reciprolink? — Michele
When you get a bicycle, it sounds like you could do with one of these Washing machine fingers lazy male