“Do not test me this way!”
I don’t know who I was talking to – the Universe? God? My keys? Where the fuck were they anyway? Not on the hook (because, why would I have put them where they belong?), or in the couch cushions or even the freezer (yeah, I found them there once. Long explanation involving Popsicle emergency).
I wasn’t late. I was early. But I needed to be early and being thwarted by my keys was really the last thing I was ready to deal with. There was dry-cleaning to drop off and shoes to pick up and reports to prepare and… and no keys! Out of options, I tucked my laptop under my comforter and headed out, prepared to leave Sir Hal in charge of guarding my life’s possessions only to find that…
the keys were in the door.
Fucking brilliant.
I shrugged, locked the door, dropped off my laundry and headed for the subway. A block from home, I realized that though keys were in hand, not all was right. Things were off. Things were… breezy. Probably due to the fact that I wasn’t wearing any underwear.
Also fucking brilliant.
Understand this is much less hot than it is frustrating. I’d thrown on a long skirt right out of the shower (it was hanging conveniently on the bathroom door) and had entirely simply skipped the skivvies.
Guess, I’ll be spending my lunch hour running to VS and not running at the gym as previously planned.
Are we sure today is not Monday?
I’ll explain the title later. Maybe.
An off-duty ballerina WITH NO UNDIES! Hotness.
For what it’s worth, I was about to write my next post (once a month, whether I need it or not!) about having left the keys in the door last week. Except *this* guy left them in the door all day long.
Both charmed and cursed, I guess
You never know, you might like not wearing underwear. It’s very liberating.
Embrace your freedom!
that happened to me one time too!
but I was scottish and it was ok
sometimes I’m about to step out and realize I have no pants or skirt on. Undie-free is nice sometimes, I hear its good for your health too.
At least you have on a LONG skirt!
Fishie….now all the boys are going wild. Tuesdays masquerading as Mondays are the worst aren’t they?
being an off duty fish might even be better~*wink*~
fish, you and your writing are such a wonderful diversion in my day.
hahahahahhhh
Skipping underwear is very freeing…I haven’t worn it in years, with the exception of occasions where I had to wear a dress and knew that I’d be consuming substantial amounts of alcohol, and so donned a pair of knickers in case I fell and exposed myself to all parties involved….I dare you to try it for a week.
Gotta love those long weekends!
I think they leave us all a little disoriented when we return to our “real” lives.
i highly recommend VC’s now — semi-annual sale!!!
It sounds like you need to go without undies more often! C’mon, live it up! Go commando while you can. Once you’re sixty no one wants to know you’re nekkid under there.
you are an excellent writer. the irony and satire in your blogs or whatever is outstanding.
Oh my! I can honestly say that has never happened to me before. I have contemplated going commando in an attempt to be sexy, but I always wuss out at the last minute. But good for you! Even if it was by mistake!
I love your writing!!! Makes a boring day go by much faster:>) Thanks for keeping us sooo entertained.
I have walked out of the house without my glasses on. That’s much stupider. And not nearly as sexy!
Slut!
I always thougt I was chaotic but I never forgot my underwear so I guess I am not that bad
You once left your keys in the freezer? Curious that.
How cosmo is the Apple anyway. Canadian gals on Vancouver Island often go *lite* underneath and the climate here is cooler.
One galpal explains, *I don’t want those pantie lines showing through these tights*.
I said, *Great, but with those low riders, your kidneys are going to catch cold.* 73s TG
I walked out of the apartment without shoes on last week. I made it into the elevator before I realized.
One morning when I was in highschool I walked out of my house with no pants on. I figured it out before I was quite across the street but I was extra-paranoid about getting dressed for months.
You didn’t write this in January and in general, your sense of propriety is entertaining, to say the least. Its not always about the heavy breathing and assumedly please, you don’t have anything to shrink. Its July! Remember, commando rules!
And oh yeah, much prefer to hear the “click” before I start the worry. More to the point I suppose. (Focus can be your friend!)
Heh. Thought I was the only one that left my keys in the freezer.
I have also, after having to back track throughout the entire house, discovered that I left a can of cleanser in the fridge.
It’s a curse to be absent-minded. But it does make for good stories.
Sounds like you are becoming a New Yorker. It isn’t geography, it is a state of mind. Pardon the Joel reference. To think as a New Yorker is as diverse as it is real. Finding someone who can accomidate you being who you are and that they allow you to be who you are is a bit more interesting. You have a terrific art. Feminism is about economics and equality. There is no room for it in a relationship. Especially in New York. Prove me wrong.