“I don’t want to play the ‘natural childbirth’ card here but really, that’s how I know you will be just fine.”
My mother’s words of encouragement didn’t exactly make me feel any better about the situation.
Tuesday is Toof Day. And in preparation for the yanking of the wisdom teeth, I had spent Monday absorbed in the last-minute necessary arrangements. There had been worrying to do, appointments to confirm, and the horrifying discovery to be made that… my insurance does not cover IV sedation. Or even laughing gas.
“No! I can’t handle that. Being awake while they rip teeth from my jaw? I think I might just die.”
“Ask for an oral sedative.” Again, my mother with the practicality. “It will take away the thought of dying – which is the main problem because no, you won’t actually die, but worrying about it could make you very uncomfortable.”
I remained unconvinced. I hollered over the cubicle wall.
“Jus?”
“Yeah?”
“Will you come to my funeral if I die?”
“Of course I will.” Justine didn’t even bother with the ‘you won’t die’ bit. She knew better. It’s best just to play along and hope I get bored with the dramatics.
“Will you sing at my funeral?”
“Nope.”
Damn. I’d pushed my luck.
I do realize that I’m grossly overreacting. People get teeth ripped out of their jaws in total awareness every day and don’t die. But this is me. I freak out at the little things. It’s what I do. And I’ve never even had a cavity for Pete’s sake. I just know I’m going to have a heart attack the minute anything beyond a good tooth cleaning goes on in there. Especially the chiseling.
Oh my god, tell me there isn’t going to be any chiseling!
Melodrama and histrionics aside, I am actually pretty anxious about the whole thing. The horror stories alone from my Monday morning meeting were enough to turn my stomach and make me think that maybe I could live with the headaches for the rest of my life if it meant skipping out on this delightful rite of passage. That thought lasted until the next headache.
Luck and love really are on my side, though. Friends have stepped in where my mother’s pampering cannot reach. Goldner has offered pudding. Sarah, sage advice and her company at the drop of a text. I have every faith that my neighbor Ari would most certainly run over to laugh at my puffy cheeks in a heartbeat. And brave Stephanie has volunteered to come with me to the oral surgeon. Tomorrow, she will be in charge of the unbelievably glamorous task of making sure I get my drooling face into a cab and safely home. If our friendship survives that, I’m going to write her into my will. And if I don’t – survive, that is – maybe she will sing at my funeral.
I’m partial to Cracklin’ Rosie.
I’m with you — the psychological trauma might very well be worse than the actual procedure. That’s why, if I were you, I’d fork over my own hard-earned cash to be sedated. But at least be sure you don’t leave that place without a fistful of narcotic-grade painkillers. Seriously. On the bright side? This time tomorrow it will all be over with! Good luck – you’ll do fine.
It’s $575!
If I had $575, I sure as shit wouldn’t be buying sedation with it. Though tempting, I just couldn’t justify it.
take along an ipod (or similar device) loaded with relaxing songs, happy songs, maybe some classical. THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO LOAD IN “LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS! trust me on that.
get some earphones – the more they cover your ears, the better. when you get in the chair, turn the music on and shut your eyes. embrace the music.
make sure that there’s ice cream when you get home. also soft, comforting jammies. and soup. having your wisdoms out doesn’t kill you, but you really won’t want to challenge your teeth on that chewing thing they’re supposed to do. the actual site of the extraction won’t hurt very much, but there’s a good chance that your jaw will be severely angry with you & will consider the possibility of never letting you eat again.
make sure you have salt — you’ll be doing warm water/salt rinses for your mouth.
Hey– When they pulled my wisdom teeth out I ate solid food that night, much to the horror of my jello preparing grandmother. Of course, I had IV sedation. With the prescription drugs they gave me, I never felt any pain. I especially enjoyed using bags of frozen peas tied to my head with a dishtowel to bring down the swelling. Super glamorous.
Let Ari laugh at that!
you will be fine! i promise. i had mine taken out when i was 16. i don’t remember any of it…apparently i did say a few choice words to my dr. oppps!
i wholeheartedly agree with yaz… any music that gets rid of the sound of that drill makes the experience so much more bearable…
but fish on a somewhat unrelated topic to teeth (this question is nosey)…
where is benjamin these days?
i noticed he wasn’t on the list of toothfaerie friends…
anyway- good luck!
Poor Fish! I still fondly remember the drugs I got when my teeth were yanked. I recommend getting drunk beforehand.
I can’t imagine what it would be like without being knocked out! I’m sure the recovery will be fine though! I had my tonsils taken out when I was 20, and I would not wish that procedure on my worst enemy. You will be fine, the drugs are fun, just make sure to take one before the novacaine wears off. OH yeah, and wear an ace wrap around your head… it works GREAT to hold that ice pack on. I did this and had almost no swelling or bruising. My best friend got hers out and her Dr didn’t have her do this, and she got SUPER swollen.
Just close your eyes, relax, and pretend you are sitting on a beach or on a cruise. Thats what I do when I go to the dentist. Good luck!
Good luck with everything!
BTW just found your blog and love it.
For what it’s worth, the drugs they give you these days lessen anxiety. They actually should consider giving you a short dose of these medical wonders from the minute you commit to the procedure (at least Prozac), since the stress from the anxiety can be quite taxing for most people. (But they don’t. Even if you beg. So don’t give them the satisfaction.)
Even plain old reliable sodium pentathol kills anxiety. They will probably give you that, and as you probably know they do prefer to keep you awake. It’s much easier to monitor the state of an awake patient than a konked out one, and generally awake patients recover more quickly from the anasthetic. For reasons which are probably self-evident.
I know my saying ‘don’t worry’ doesn’t help. You have friends, that helps more. You’ll be fine and I think you will soon be blogging about how well the procedure went.
you’ll be just fine. if you have a good doctor it should be over relatively quickly. ice bags afterwards are a good idea. plenty of rest too. the worst part of being up during the procedure are the songs and the stressthey put on your jaw. i could actually fee my jawbone flexing as the dentist torqued up on my tooth until it ripped free with a horrible sound. oooh, sorry. probably not that comforting. it won’t last long two days and you’ll be almost 100% normal. milkshakes were the best for me after procedure. stitches are weird feelinf in your mouth. a day and of half of bleeding was kinda gross. take pain medicine, listen to good music, and sleep. it worked great for me.
i had all four of my wisdom teeth out with only a local anesthetic, it was the most traumatic experience of my life. honestly. my body was so tense during the two hour proceedure i had back spasms for a week. whatever they cost you need drugs.
I see wisdom teeth extraction as a great excuse to eat too much Ben & Jerry’s..
As an aside, is your mother a Virgo?
Okay, I will try this early morning commenting again, even though yesterday proved a grammatical nightmare.
My first reaction is $525? Are you kidding? Not that I know, but siht, could you imagine how much in street perscriptions you could get for that price? Probably enough to keep you happy the rest of the work week.
Secondly, just remember, this too shall pass. More painful than a splinter, less so than a broken heart. You’ll be okay.
Please do try to post about your dirty little secrets though under the effect of painkillers or the afterglow of oral sedation. It’ll be fun!
Good luck! My husband needs his out by the end of the year as well.
Crap!…Is this is what I have to look forward to?
I remember getting teeth pulled when I was younger..and was fully awake…it wasn’t as bad as I thought it’d be..I think the anticipation of it is the worst. I don’t blame you for feeling a little freaked out by it all, but I’m sure it’ll go alright for you.
Just don’t look while Dr. Hotpants is doing it.
Also think of all the pudding you get to eat now.
It would be more likely for you to die while under sedation than local anesthetic, and even that is highly unlikely.
In case you’re not told, you can’t use a straw for something like a month. There is a possibility that you may suck out the scabs in your sockets (where the teeth use to be), and that could cause infection. Yeah, I know there is a lot of grey area there, but I wouldn’t want to chance it.
i am, at the moment, suffering from wisdom tooth misery myself. and the one thing keeping me from going to the dentist is the same anxiety that’s plaguing you. because goshdarnit this isn’t a normal extraction it’s a WISDOM TOOTH. they have roots that reach right down to your toes.
so, if you do come out of this alive, and all’s well, then maybe, just maybe, i’ll make that trip down myself too.
maybe.
Doesn’t hurt — but crunches a lot. Then you get mushy pulp sensations in your upper reaches. No gum here — just bone tissue. After about a year, gum tissue gradually covers the exposed jaw bone. No scabs ever form.
no drugs VERY impressive. have been needing to get all FOUR of mine out for umm three years but the mere thought of it causes my knees to buckle and my jaw to clamp shut. and my insurance covers sedation.
will take xanax and make appointment because really have NO excuse now.
Having just paid $738 for my dog’s tooth to be removed (including sedation) I’d pay the $575 and be glad you’re not a dog! The bill definitely hurt me more.
In any case, if you don’t make it Cracklin’ Rosie should liven up the funeral. Good luck!
Don’t worry! I had my teeth out (I actually had 5) and had heard so many horror stories. I didn’t even take the painkillers bc they made me sick, but with enough ice and advil, it really is more of a pain in the ass than scary or painful.
It´s not as bad as it seems. I had all of wisdom teeth removed at once (they hadn´t come out yet so it was the full surgical procedure) and i wasn´t sedated, the dentist just worked with local sedation in the gums. If you can believe it, the whole thing took half an hour. The post-op wasn´t as bad as i had anticipated either. Just some swelling and a bit of bruising on one side of the jaw after a few days. Of course, i understand the panic because i was adamant in IV sedation myself, but i live in Argentina and dentists here prefer to avoid it in minor surgeries like this one, so i had to brave it out, and i´m actually grateful now because it was way less traumatic for my body that way.
Good luck with the procedure and let us know how it went.
By choice, I had all four of my wisdom teeth pulled using just a local anesthetic. I didn’t know how I would react to the gas, so I opted not to have it. The only part of the procedure that bothered me was the sound. I felt a little uncomfortable afterwards, but well enough to eat a burrito by the next day. So there went my weight loss plan. I was also touched by the fact that my dentist personally called me at home that night to see how I was doing. He was very sweet, but I couldn’t really talk with all the cotton shoved into my mouth. Why do they that? Ask you questions when they can’t understand what you’re saying. Is it their own private joke or something? Anyway, don’t let the others scare you. It’s not that bad. You’ll be just fine.
Getting your wisdom teeth pulled is definitely not my idea of fun but I know you’ll live! I daresay you might not even think of it once it’s done. Eat lots of ice cream. It will make it better.
Hey Fish! I had my wisdom teeth out jsut a few years ago. I didn’t go under, jsut got freezing. I think at the time I didn’t even realize that I COULD go under! But honestly, I didn’t feel a thing. My dentist rooted around for a bit and I asked (through all the crap in my mouth, when he’d be taking out the first tooth. He’d already taken two out!
Here’s to chipmunk cheeks!
(and hey, is it your cute dentist who wil be takingthem out? Just concentrate on that!
)
I just wanted to wish you luck today. I hope it is nothing like what you’ve imagined it. Just remember, good drugs are no match for great friends, so I think you’ll be fine.
I had two impacted wisdom teeth cut out earlier this year. Really, the most painful bit was the novacaine injections. But them I kind of like gore. I pulled all my sutures out within a couple of days….
You’ll be fine, ask for vicodin
I had my wisdom teeth pulled a few years ago with laughing gas and I literally talked and laughed through the entire thing. My oral surgeon yelled at me and I laughed more. Really it won’t be that bad, but I guess without the laughing gas it may not be that entertaining. But imagine the large amounts of ice cream you’ll be allowed to consume later on.
all four wisdom teeth out at once (yanked out by my bro the dentist, btw). no IV sedation. just a novocaine shot in the gums before the whole ordeal. that hurt, the rest didn’t. but… mine weren’t impacted. are yours? good luck!
My friend had his out last monday 3 of them at once. He lived, looked very cute and chipmunky for a few days, but had a beer in hand the very next day.
I had all mine out one at a time and it really wasn’t bad.
Good luck, even though you won’t need it because you will be just fine.
i had eight teeth pulled at once, of course, they also knocked me out for a couple hours.
but, on the bright side, i also lost ten pounds as a result of the surgery!
Are you sure taht “brave” Stephanie didn’t volunteer to come with you to the oral surgeon because the oral surgeon is single and looks like George Clooney?
All my best to you.
When I had mine pulled I was completely sedated. Somehow I managed to wake up just long enough to see the doctor’s knee on my chest, literally jackhammering on my teeth. (No wonder my face was bruised for weeks!) When you’re awake they can’t do THAT to you, so you’ll be fine.
I did forgive him though… the vicodin made me feel like my arms were floating above my bed.
…And I was really okay with that.
Can I have your logo if you die?
I was spared the widom yank by a stupid teenage fight. (Stupid cause I kinda got what I deserved.) The miss-aligned tooth that resulted from it gave my wisdom teeth room to fit. On the whole though, I think I’d rather have had them pulled under any kind of anaesthetic, be it general or local or tequila.
Best of luck Fish, it’ll suck but I’m sure you’ll pull through.
laughing gas should only cost you around $100 or so… full sedation is more, but the laughing gas should NOT be that much…
it wont be that bad – i had a tooth that was un-novacaine-able due to infection and even that – the thing i thought was the prep was the actual pulling… really was nothing to it… jaw soreness – and thats all it was – sore – was the worst part…
you’ll be fine! good luck!
love the blog – just found it a month or so ago and am desperately trying to catch up on the archives!
In anticipation of my wisdom teeth removal, and knowing I wouldn’t be eating anything solid for awhile I filled my fridge with jello and pudding. One day in and I sent my husband off to get me mashed potatoes. And I ate them for the next few days!
Just so, ya know, you might wanna have a back-up plan. Good luck!
yeah, to add to the stories, i had mine out when i was 13, they were only halfway emerged. (always been fast in the tooth department) i was awake and aware and it wasn’t too bad. the worst part was when they were stiching me up with those dissolvable stiches (this was 17 years ago) they ran the string (?) along the corners of my mouth and made them (the corners) a little red, like the world’s mildest paper (string?) cut.
nice pain pills after… lots of cotton to soak up the blood and ice cream. if a kid can do it, you can. the great thing about having it done when i was a kid was that my dad paid for it all!
Dear Ms. Fish: I had all four wisdom teeth taken out without IV drugs, just novicane. According to the dental assistant, it’s much better that way – because you’re looking him in the eye so he’s not going to be so rough. When you’re asleep they can just yank ‘em right out! All you’re going to feel is pressure – and no chiseling unless they’re impacted (which they should have told you about beforehand). I went home, wrapped my head in an ice pack, took a pain killer and went to sleep. Woke up 6 hours later, slightly puffy, but not in any great amount of pain…by the next morning I was ready for scrambled eggs – no pain whatsoever!!! Good Luck!
P.S.You’re not gonna die! If you do, I’ll sing at your funeral (and I’m pretty good, too…)
Here I thought I was respecting the dead by not singing at your funeral. Fine, if you want me to sing, I’ll sing.
But I’m gonna require you leaving me your Vicodin with Ibuprofen prescription in your will.
Honestly, the actual experience wasn’t nearly as bad as the horror stories I heard and invented.
It was much more manage-able than I thought. And this is coming from a girl who has paid thousands of dollars to two different therapists over the last couple of years just so she can walk thru the door of a Doctor’s office without having a panic attack.
Good luck with everything…and try to enjoy all the pampering at least a little.
You could make some quick cash by selling the pain killers on Ebay. Then you could buy an I-Pod Nano!
I wish you the best! I had my wisdom tooth pulled on Friday the 13th! The day before Valintine’s last year. I was knocked out – Can’t do pain! I did not swell or bruise. No straws – you will pull up the scab. Gross huh? Good drugs too. But then again I was knocked out and had it done on Friday to have weekend recovery! Now childbirth scares me more! Even with eppidural, you stil have hours of contractions – although for some this is not a prob! Definatly getting drugs for that too! Good luck! And you will survive!
Women only play that “childbirth” card because they know men can never experience it. If we could, we’d be able to call you on all your bitching and whining about how much it hurts because honestly, it can’t hurt that bad – look how many women have MULTIPLE children. Well I’m not falling for it – childbirth is easy and you all need to quit your complaining.
aw, Fish, hope it went well! Hope you’re getting lots of rest and ice cream. Feel better.
I had all four teeth out at once. You know what was the worst part?? The sedative – puking. for. hours. HOURS. The ripping the teeth out part? Not so bad. Honestly. Didn’t even need an asprin afterwards. Here – look – I was even motivated to do a little story about it: http://www.sohosally.com/gallery_saga_teeth_1.html
Ever thought of going to the bar first?
What would happen to this Blog if you didn’t make it?
you’ll be fine … had mine out under GENERAL anaesthetic because they were so deeply embeded, heading sideways etc …. BUT …. minimal swelling (if they bandage you keep it on!), vague greenness rather than massive bruising, the sore jaw is right BUT it’s more ache than pain if you get the difference … you’ll be fine, really!
Three decades ago, because of my Mothers’ medical insurance, they put me in the hospital overnight to pull all four of mine! I was a chipmunk the next day…don’t remember any pain tho
BTW What is a BLOG?????
This right here is a blog. It’s short for web log. Which is basically an online diary.
Thank you Fish! I am a newbie at this. Best of luck at the dentist (although you won’t need it.) I do know if you aren’t already use to pain meds, they will probably make you feel sick (and give you a headache,) so don’t take to many.
Best wishes
I know how you feel. I have been debating whether or not to just do it. The thing is, I have never been sedated and it scares the bejesus out of me. Good luck. I hear it isn’t as bad as it sounds…and the word “yanked” doesn’t really help.
It’s Wednesday already here in the UK. I’m guessing it’s Tuesday evening in the US – so I’m hoping it all went OK at the dentist….
Thought you should see this….
/www.woodka.com/2005/10/24/finally-a-fish-with-a-bicycle/
OMG! Only 1015 characters left! I can’t create under this kind of pressure! Now it’s down to just over 900!
OK, I better make it quick. You need to go see “Marathon Man.” Dustin Hoffman in the dentist chair, sans anesthesia… joy, joy.
Anyway, hope you had fun.